A Blink of an Eye

That night I called Selena, I didn't have anyone else to call. She had just come home from the hospital and said she was coming over for a sleepover. She showed up around 7:30 and I finally came out of my room when I heard her talking.
"It's great to see you too, Justin." I heard her say as I came out into the hall.
"You look great for someone who just went through chemo." Justin says not noticing me.
"Thanks, even I'm surprised at how great I feel. I bet this won't last long. Oh, hey Jess." Selena says seeing me.
Justin turns quickly, "Hi, Jess."
"H-hi." I say awkwardly.
"Right, well, we got a girl's night. So talk to you later Justin." Selena says picking up on the awkwardness.
"Right, ya'll have fun." Justin says his eyes never leaving me. I try my best to ignore it but I can't. So I look up at him and for a moment all I want to do is stay there with him. But Selena tugs on my arm and I snap out of it, remembering why I called her in the first place.
Selena drags me into my room where I fall back on my bed. She sits next to me and sighs.
"Ok, this is obviously about you and Justin. So spill." Selena says.
"Long story short, he's leaving. And it's my fault." I say as tears form just thinking of him not being here anymore.
"You don't know that it's your fault." Selena says.
"I do though." I say then I launch into my story about earlier when I talked to Justin and then I heard him and Joe talking.
"Oh, well, ok." Selena says once I finished.
"See, my fault. He can't leave. He can't! I need him, Lena." I say desperately.
"Hon, he's right you know? You don't. You're strong. Plus, I think your need is something else." Selena says. I give her a confused look and she sighs.
"Tell me, you get upset about something, who's the first one you're going to call." Selena says.
"Justin." I say without thinking.
"Exactly, ok, you want to hang out but I can't. Who are you going to call?" Selena says.
"...Justin..." I mumble.
"Ok, You're in trouble. Big insane trouble. Who are you going to call first?" Selena says.
I realize she knows who I'm going to call but I still reply, "Justin..."
"You're in a fight. Who do you want to break it up? And yes, you have to break it up." Selena says smiling. She knew my answer would've been no one if she said I didn't have to break it up.
"Justin, he's the only one who could really get me to stop right on the spot." I say talking from experience.
"Exactly. Now what do these answers all have in common?" Selena says.
"They're all Justin." I say slowly.
"Right, so, I know you don't need him, but you want him. You want him bad." Selena say smiling.
"What?" I say shaking my head slightly.
"You love him. It's that simple." Selena says.
"He's like a brother, of course I do." I say.
"Nooo, you love him. As more than a brother. You love him." Selena says with a slight smirk.
"I do not love him like that." I say.
"Sure you don't." Selena says grinning.
"I don't! I do NOT love him." I say with gritted teeth.
"Right...and I'm freaking Harry Potter." Selena says rolling her eyes.
"Well, well, why didn't you tell me? Why don't you show me some wizard powers?" I say with a smile.
"Shut up!" Selena says hitting me with a pillow.
"Aw, come on, Harry. Let's see your scar." I say nudging her.
"Jess, shut up already!" Selena says hitting me again.
"Harry, can you introduce me to Ron?" I say twirling my hair and laughing.
"Oh, that's it!" Selena yells and goes to attack me. I run out of my room her following me. I run down the stairs around the living room and back up just to run into someone.
"Oh, sorry!" I say looking up.
Then, I freeze and stiffen up.
"It's cool, why are you running?" Justin says with a small smile.
"Oh...Selena's after me." I say just as Selena comes up and runs into me which makes me fall into Justin again.
"Sorry. Thought you wouldn't of stopped." Selena says.
"Well, I ran into Justin." I say slowly.
"Ooohhh. I see." Selena say wagging her eyebrows for only me to see.
"I don't!" I yell throwing up my arms in a dramatic fashion.
"Don't what?" Justin says watching me with a smile.
"Oh, nothing." I say giving him a small nervous grin.
"Yea...nothing." Selena says sarcastically.
"We got to go back to our girl's night. So, bye." I say to Justin, "Come on Harry."
"Oh that is it!" Selena yells and then we both run off leaving Justin looking very confused.
After fighting over that for a while we both decide it's time to sleep. My Dad was planning on coming tomorrow and wanted to meet Selena so we needed rest for that. As we were lying there I turn to look at Selena to see she was looking at me.
"You know, the last person you think of you dream about." Selena says.
"Ok, and..." I say.
"Well, you'll be thinking of Justin, because you love him. So have a nice hot and sweaty dream for me." Selena says with a smile.
"SHUT UP!" I say with a gasp of disbelief.
"Ok...Night." Selena says softly laughing.
"Good night." I mumble rolling over.
I lay there and, of course, think of Justin. Selena's crazy. I do NOT love him...right? Of course, I'm right. He's like a brother. I don't love him like that. She's just insane. And even if I did, which I don't, it wouldn't matter. Because he doesn't love me. But that's ok, because I don't love him like that. I convince myself that I'm not in love with him and finally fall asleep.
I dreamed I was in a meadow, sitting on a blanket while the sun hit me. I was happy. Smiling and just laying there. Then he came, with a hand full of freshly picked flowers. He laid next to me and we both just soaked in the sun till dark. Watching the stars with him was wonderful. Once in a while, he would point out constellation and tell me the story behind it. After a while of this, he turned to me and I faced him. Still smiling a huge smile.
"Jess, you are the most wonderful girl anyone could think of." he says.
"Justin, you are the whole reason I'm still here." I reply.
That moment when he looked at me and just held me watching the sky and softly stroking my hair was the happiest I'd ever been. Ever.
BEEPPPPP
I hit the alarm clock and groaned. I didn't want to wake up. That had been the best dream I'd ever had. Oh lord, Selena was right. I think I might love him. I groan then go to wake up Josh, he wakes up quickly and we don't say another word to each other.
I head to Joe's room and wake Joe up then I crouch next to Justin's bed and shake him.
"Justin. Wake up." I say softly.
"You know better than that. That isn't going to wake him." Joe says.
I turn to him. "It's the last time I get to wake him and I'm determined to wake him this way." I say stubbornly.
"Whatever." Joe says watching me shake him.
"Go wake Selena up. She doesn't listen to me and I'm sure she'll like waking up to you better." I say.
"Ok." Joe says a grin on his face.
I turn to Justin. He looked so peaceful. So perfect.
I wanted to kiss him, which took me by surprise. That settles it. I have to admit to Selena that I like him. But I don't know if I love him. I watch him and he rolls over putting hair in his face. I softly move it away then jump back realizing what I just did. It's a good thing he doesn't wake easily.
"Justin." I say going back over to him and shaking him again.
"JUSTIN!" I say louder and shaker harder.
"Shut up...five more minutes." Justin mumbles.
"Justin...." I whine loudly.
"UGH, what Joe? You sound like a girl." Justin says suddenly sitting up looking confused.
"Well, I am a girl." I say shrugging my shoulders.
"Oh, thought you were Joe." Justin says looking embarrassed.
"It's ok." I say biting my bottom lip.
"Right, well, I better take these boxes to my car and get going soon." Justin says looking around the room.
"You sure you really have to go?" I ask hopeful.
"I need to." Justin says.
"Need to? Or want to?" I ask suddenly knowing the difference between the two.
"Both, I think." Justin says quietly.
"Well, I don't want you to go. But if you must..." I say just as quiet.
"What happened to need?" Justin says.
"I think I realize the difference now. You were right. I am strong, I can handle this. But it doesn't mean I like it." I say watching him as he stacks boxes.
"I see. Well, for the record, I don't really like it either." Justin says not looking at me.
"Then don't go." I whisper just loud enough for him to hear me. He looks at me and I swear I see longing in his eyes, then sorrow.
"I have to." Justin whispers back and with that he takes his first stack of boxes down to his car.