A Blink of an Eye

I look around to see where I ended up at and I realize I’m at the park. At my bench at the park. How in the hell did I get here? I don't want to be here. This might have been my favorite place but this is where I found out that Jason died. I really don't want to be here. So I leave, and just like that my favorite place in the world became my least favorite place. I run towards the town and finally get tired so I start walking. People were staring at me. I must look crazy. In a black dress with no shoes just running around. But damn, do they have to make it so clear that they are staring at me! Something inside of me wanted to cuss everyone out that was looking at me. Which was strange being popular I never cared before if people were staring. But now I felt like I was an exhibit in an art show.
I run to the middle of the town where the gazebo is. I climb up the steps and sit down. I lean back my head and close my eyes. I was about to fall asleep when my phone vibrated and Disturba started playing. I looked down and saw Joe had sent me a text.
It said-- where in the hell are you? Mom's freaking our and she's taking it out on me! I'm coming 2 find u.
Of course, mom's going to freak. Damn, so much for alone time. I quickly text back-- Tell her to chill. Come get me. I’m at the town gazebo.
I lean back and relax again. Soon I hear the squealing of tires and know that it's Joe. He's the only one who does that. I get up and he comes running towards me.
"Jess! Thank God!" Joe says hugging me.
"I said goodbye to you and seriously ya'll need to chill more." I reply in a rude voice as I hug him back.
"I know, but mom like freaked out on me like I’m supposed to control where your ass is." Joe says rolling his eyes.
"Let's go before mom get really mad." I say.
We drive home listening to linkin park. I never really liked Joe's music but I think I just might start to. All my music is happy stuff and honestly I’m not exactly into all that anymore. We arrive home to a frantic mother.
"JESS! Thank god!" Mom yells and she runs to hug me.
"MOM! I can't breathe!" I yell and I really couldn't she was about to kill me in that hug. Then came the lecture. Blah Blah Blah, what were you thinking, you could have been killed. Melodramatic much? I thought I had lost another kid. OH geez, a person wants some alone time because her brother just DIED and she ends up getting yelled at. Isn't life just so fair!
"Mom, Can Justin stay over?" Joe interrupts her speech and I give him the biggest thank you look.
"I don't see why not." Mom says. I DO! Damn Joe, Jason's funeral was TODAY!!! And you already have friends over!
"Thanks, Justin Come on in!!" Joe says loudly. Justin must have been waiting at the door. He comes in and says thanks to mom then they both go upstairs. Mom turns back to me. Shit! So much for helping me get out of the lecture. But thankfully mom just gives me a hug and sends me to my room. I walk upstairs slowly to see Josh going into his room. I started thinking about how we haven't talked since the day we found out Jason died and how I jumped down his throat.
"Josh!" I say and Josh jumps really high.
"Jess, you're home!" Josh says and smiles at me.
"Yea, listen I just want to say sorry for yelling at you the other day.” I say and I give him a hug.
"Umm...ok....its ok." Josh says clearly surprised and hugs me back then we go our separate ways.
I get into my room and change out of that dress. Then I go into the bathroom and wash up, my face looked hideous from all my makeup that had run down. I really wanted to listen to music but not my music so I knock on Joe's door. And, of course, Justin answers for him.
"Oh, hey, where's Joe?" I ask.
"Right in here come on in." Justin says softly and goes back and sits on Joe's bed.
"Joe, can I have your cds so I can put them on my music player." I say.
"My stuff?" Joe says and looks up from whatever he was doing.
"No, dumbass, the other Joe." I say with a lot of sarcasm.
"Hey! No need for name calling! They are over there." Joe says and he points to his cds. I walk over and just grab them all.
"Thanks." I mumble and was about to head out when mom and Josh head in and tells me to stay.
"Are ya'll planning ongoing to school tomorrow?" Mom asks us kids.
SCHOOL! What in the hell is wrong with everyone! They are acting like my brother is still here! Like he hasn't died! I mean shouldn’t things be different! Shouldn't they at least act like he just died!
"I am." Josh tells her and leaves. Joe looks at me and I look at him. I think it's some kind of weird twin thing but we seemed to be thinking the same thing. If you go I’ll go. I glance at my mom and nod my head yes. What the hell am I thinking? Going to school! Wow, this is going to be interesting. Joe also tells mom yes and she leaves.
"You sure?" Joe asks me as I go to leave.
"About school?" I ask. HELL NO! I know I don’t want to go but I sort of have to. I have responsibilities and I need to go.
"Yea," Joe says studying my face. I was very aware of the fact that Justin was also watching me and studying me.
"Yea, I’m 100 percent sure." I say then I leave as fast as I can.
My room was a depressing place to be in. It all reminded me of Jason. The pictures on the walls. The broken vase in the corner. Everything he had ever gave me was on this shelf; he usually gave me things he made in art. He was such a good pottery person but he wouldn't let anyone know that but me. It was just one of those things that we shared. It was depressing me more and more. I pop in Joe's cds and download them to my music player. Then I listen to it and tried not to think about how tomorrow was going to be total torture.