I Know I'm Not The One You Call When You Are Alone

“Dan, tell Max to stop stealing my food – MAX!!!!” I yelled.

“What exactly am I going to do about it?” He laughed, watching the stupid scene unfold between me and the 17 year old guitarist.

“Like tell him to stop. He won’t listen to me!” I chased Max around the kitchen trying to grab the spring roll he had stolen from my plate.

“Max, pack it in!” Dan yelled then turned to me. “Happy?”

Max handed it over to me. “Yes I am now thanks.”

We took the food and plates into the living room and sat in front of the TV.

“What was all that screaming for?” Matt questioned whilst tucking into his egg fried rice.

“Max stole my food so I chased him for it.” A grin broke out of my face in triumph.

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?”

“Where’s Josh?” I asked curiously, he’s barely been around recently.

“Umm.. I uhh don’t know.” Dan said cautiously.

“Yeah right, that was a lie if ever I heard one.” The door bell rang out, Max made no movement to answer his own door and looked to me.

I got up with a sigh and swung the front foor open to reveal my best friend…and Lauren.

“Hi.”

“……hi.” Said Josh, by the looks of things he found it a shock to see me here.

“Come in.” The both walked through the door and into the living room. I stood with my back against the closed front door for a few moments. What the hell was Lauren doing here? Is that why he was ditching me?

I followed suit and sat where I had previously been sitting and tucked into my food, focusing on the TV as everyone chatted around me.

“Hey.” He said, crouching down next to me, stealing my spoonful of rice.

“Oi-“ I said smacking him on the arm.

He just laughed.

“So, how has life been?” He asked.

“Good, been chilling with the guys and getting by in college. You?”

“Pretty great thanks.” He said, unable to fight back his smile. “I’ve been spending a lot of time with Lauren recently. She’s cool.”

“That’s nice.” I said, trying not to sound too jealous at the fact another girl was spending so much time with my best friend, and he wasn’t spending a single second with me.

We all had a catch up, something that hadn’t taken place in... well I don’t remember the last time, normally the whole group is together so we know what has already gone one and never need to recap for someone who was absent.

“So, hows everyone’s love life?” Dan laughed.

“Brilliant, obviously.” Matt said grinning, clearly thinking about Chelsea.

“Max?”

“I’ve got my eye on someone but I’m keeping it under wraps for now.”

“Spoil sport.” I laughed, throwing half a spring roll at him.

“Oh so NOW I can have your spring roll?”

“Yes.” I smirked. He just rolled his eyes and shook his head.

I saw Chris just sat on his own so I took a seat beside him on the two seater sofa. “’Sup sweetheart?

“This, that and the other.”

“Want to talk about it?”

He just shook his long brown locks. Chris pulled on my shoulder slightly so I was resting on his and he kissed my forehead.

“Chris, how about you? Love life?”

“Nah.” He said shrugging. Matt winked at him because of our position.

I saw Lauren giggling at something Josh said.

“Joshua? Lauren?” They both blushed.

“I’d like to formally introduce Lauren to you guys as my girlfriend.” Josh beamed. Everyone sat in shock for a moment or two despite their obvious flirting.

Girlfriend? Girlfriend? GIRLFRIEND? I felt sick. Chris gave my arm a reassuring squeeze.

“Congratulations.” I said being the first one to speak. The others got over the initial shock and congratulated them also, then briefly looking at me. I had nothing else to say, I was just dumbfounded.

I stood up grabbing the plates from dinner and taking them into the kitchen. I had to get out of there quick. I tipped the food into the bin and put the plates into the sink. As I ran the hot water I leant against the worktop trying my hardest to stop my eyes from filling up. Taking deep breaths didn’t even calm me. Every plate I washed left me wanting to throw them at the wall and smash them but that was just my irrational side, my rational side told me to finish what I was doing and go back in there like nothing happened.

As I sat the washing into the dish drainer I felt another presence in the room, I expected it to be Chris or Max, even Josh but not Lauren.

“Hey, you ok Lexi?” she said sounding awfully concerned.

“Yeah why wouldn’t I be?” my voice luckily didn’t show any emotion.

“It’s just…I…” she sighed. “I just don’t want you to feel like I’m taking Josh away from you. I mean, he’s your best friend and he just hasn’t been around lately for you. I’m not intentionally keeping him away from you I swear.”

“Oh god Lauren, I know. If Josh was bothered enough he would have spoken to me whether you approved or not – no offence. But he’s clearly not bothered anymore is he? 13 years of friendship clearly proves nothing.”

“Alex, I want you to know that you mean the world to Josh – more than me. He hasn’t given up on you I promise.”

“Then why hasn’t he been here?”

“I don’t know.”

I heard shuffling and looked to my right, Joshua stood there looking a little more than guilty. Lauren noticed him and gave him a small smile.

“You two really need to talk. I’m going home but I’ll speak to you later Josh.” She hugged me then gave him a small kiss before leaving Max’s house.

I looked at him nervously then grabbed a towel to dry the dishes.

“Alexa, look at me.” Like a dog taking orders from its owner, I turned to my ‘best friend’.

“All that stuff you said to Lauren about me not being bothered and that 13 years of friendship meant nothing, did you mean it?”

I just stared at him.

“Well?”

I turned around and started sobbing. I was way beyond the caring point now; I didn’t know what to say to him. I didn’t want to admit to him that I thought his behaviour had been out of line, I even hated believing it.

“I don’t have to spend every single minute of my life with you Alex, I have to live my own life.” I turned to him feeling a little angered. It was then that he realised I he hadn’t known I was crying.

“Well I’m sorry that you never answered my calls because you were too busy with someone else, I’m sorry that I was just getting in the way, I’m sorry for ever speaking to you that first of school. It was clearly just a mistake.” I tried to leave the kitchen but he grabbed hold of the top of my arm.

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“No Josh, you DID mean it like that. So leave and be happy with Lauren but I refuse to be pushed aside after over a decade because you have a girlfriend. I thought friends were more important, that’s what you told me.” I yelled in his face, to angry, hurt and upset to keep our ordeal quiet; it was a matter of ‘so what?’ if the guys heard it.

Max came rushing towards the kitchen and saw that I was in Josh’s face. I pulled me away from him seeing my tear stained face.

“You know what hurt Joshua, you never even bothered to tell me you were dating until today, you’ve been missing from us for weeks but you only tell us now? You’re pathetic. And one more thing, I DO mean what I said to Lauren.” I sobbed.

Max stroked my hair and hushed me, taking me upstairs as Dan, Max & Chris glared at Josh.

He may have no idea as to why I am so terribly upset, hell it wasn’t the facts I threw at him, they were just the icing on the cake, but the other 4 knew that I was in love with my best friend.

Yes.

I, Alexa Miller, am in love with Joshua James Alphonse Franceschi.

And I never hated this as much as I do now.