I Need Something More.

SOPHIA P.O.V:

“I deserve to know what?” I asked stumbling into the room, with Hannah holding my right hand while cradling Sebastian at the same time.

I watched as Alex, Jack and Rian instantly tensed. All of their gazes locking with mine before switching straight to the floor. I stepped further into the room hoping I wasn’t intruding as I watched Jack’s eyes flicker from Alex to me and back, he being the only one bold enough to look my way. Okay, I thought, I definitely wasn’t supposed to be here.

“Sorry, maybe we should go.” I looked down at Hannah awkwardly. “Sweetie, lets go, I think we’re interrupting something.”

“Okay Sophie.” Hannah complied, her blonde locks bouncing as she nodded. “But I’m hungry.”

“Let’s go get something--”I started as I turned around, still holding Hannah’s hand in mine when I heard Jack cut in.

“No wait- You stay, we’ll go. Alex,” Jack stressed heading towards the entrance Hannah and I were about to leave through. “needs to tell you something.”

“C’mon Hannah, let go get you some diner.” Rian cooed, as Hannah let go of my hand to hold his- waving at the two of us after Sebastian jumped out of her arms.

“But what about daddy and Sophie?” I heard her voice fading down the hall.

I stood by the entrance in the same discomfort as I did this morning. Alex’s gaze hung low as he sat himself on the couch waiting. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to join him, but I did. While he kept his eyes fixed on the floor, I kept mine on him- searching him as if the answer was written in fine detail on his face. His mouth opened to speak but quickly shut, repeating this routine a few times.

I kept a fair distance from him as we were seated on the couch, seeing as he was acting as cautious as he was this morning. I watched in silence as the ever so confident Alex Gaskarth crumbled into a ball of nerves. Watching him, I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around his neck, lean my head against his chest and hold him close, reminding him; I was here for him. I would have too, if it weren’t for the invisible wall he built this morning declaring his new found personal space.

We sat there in a painful silence as I wondered if Alex was planning on telling me what was wrong, or whatever Jack said he needed to tell me. With the silence came my awkward tendencies; mostly pulling at my clothes trying to cover myself as much as possible. I don’t know why I did it, but my guess would be that it was a subconscious form of hiding myself. My teeth began gnawing on my bottom lip as my hands pulled the blue fabric of my skirt foolishly aiming to cover my knees about 4 inches from where the skirt was originally resting mid-thigh. I pulled along the hem until I was forced to stop, not by choice but by Alex’s hand resting on top of my own. My eyes were fixated on the place where his skin was touching my own before they slowly began to work up the courage to look at his face.

His lips held a tight frown and his jaw was clenched. His eyes were cast low for a moment, avoiding mine as they had been doing all day before he brought them up to look at my own.

Alex laced his hand in my own, his eyes momentarily closed in thought as he opened his mouth to speak.

“Okay, ummm. Last night.” He started to ramble. “Last night something kind of happened.”

I tilted my head urging him to continue, my green eyes staring into his brown ones while his followed en suite. He closed his eyes again, sighing heavily before continuing, his eyes still closed.

“Kay so listen.” He began, his brows furrowed as he faced me, eyes closed. “I did some things last night. Bad things. I’m not proud, but I did them.”

“Oh...”

“I’m sorry Soph- I’m a shitty friend.” Alex breathed opening his eyes, nervously playing with my hand enlaced with his. “You have no idea what I’m talking about do you?”

I shook my head not wanting to interrupt his thoughts as I continued to listen to his rambles. Instead of continuing, Alex inhaled sharply pulling himself off the couch, bringing me up with him. His face was hard, as his jaw was clenched and his lips drawn together holding an unfortunately familiar frown before he muttered the words ‘fuck it’ under his breath.

“You know I love you, right?” He asked honestly, his head low, but his eyes peaking through his bangs to look into my own. I nodded, smiling reassuringly letting him know I understood him, adding in that I loved him too.

“And you know I would never hurt you.” He stated cautiously- again receiving a nod.

“Do you trust me?”

“Alex, of course I do.” I nodded now being the one to restlessly playing with his hand that was currently tangled with my own. “But you’re really scaring me. What’s wrong, I just want to help.”

“Soph, I just need you to trust me okay.”

“Okay.” I nodded, and I did trust him. He had my heart, whether he wanted it or not it was his and I would always trust him with it and me.

“Alex!” I squealed at his actions. He didn’t breath a word, he simply continued.

“What are you doing?” I squeaked as he bent over and scooped me up from underneath my knees and supported my back- carrying me. He didn’t respond to my question, nor did he put me down, instead me begun to escort me to an unknown location.

He led me throughout the house and up the unfamiliar wooden stairs. He walked down a narrow hall lined with frames and awards. He held me close turning left, left than into the room on the right. The pale mint colored room was plagued in shadows courtesy of the curtains, but a few inconsequential beams of light burst through the cracks in between the cotton curtains. Judging by the scattered mess of clothing lining a large open suitcase, along with a familiar plush elephant and yellow blanket, I assume he led me his and Hannah’s room.

“You still don’t remember?” He questioned placing me onto the bed gently.

My brows furrowed as he hovered over the bed, waiting for a response. I shook my head completely baffled in both his question and sporadic change in character. Why is he doing this, and why does he keep asking me if I remember- remember what? I tried to remember, anything really- hoping somewhere in my memory the answer to Alex’s riddles would be found.

My recollections were quickly interrupted as I felt a weight floating over me. A small gasp escaped my lips as my body went ridged. Alex had crawled on top of me, his legs on either side of my body, his hands placed beside my head supporting his floating body. His mischievous brown eyes bored into my own as he began to lean down. Being this close to him again enabled me to soak in his scent of body wash and axe, reenforcing a paralysis over my heat stricken body.

My cheeks began to burn as Alex began to invade my personal space. Alex continued to lean down until there was virtually no space between our faces. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest feeling as if it was ready to burst out at any given moment.

“How about now?” He whispered as his lips hovered, lingering in the tiny space that could only be in millimeters. “Do you remember now?”

I think my mind had shut off due to over heating, the heat emitting from every inch of my body. I don’t think I had ever been so close to Alex before, and quite frankly the minimal space along with the rising tension was electrifying. A rush of heat surged through my body as the only two functions my body could process at the moment were breathing and blinking. My mind was racing as a familiar paralysis took over. And in that moment the only thoughts that were running through my mind were of how badly I wanted Alex.

----------

ALEX P.O.V:

“Now?” I question, as I followed through with an almost exact reenactment of last night. I didn’t have the heart to tell her, this would be easier. At any moment I expect Sophia to remember on her own accord than proceed to slap me across the face with as much force her dainty wrist could exude- all that for taking advantage of her. It’s what I deserve.

Sophia remained absolutely still underneath me waiting for my next move. As I heard her breathing shallow, I could feel the effect as her chest didn’t press as much into my own as it was doing before. Her jade like eyes urging me to continue, to explain what it was that was going on, but this was one request I couldn’t grant her. Instead, my head lowered to her neck, my lips grazing the trail of skin they were kissing just last night.

My hands moved from supporting myself to the frame of her thin waist. Along her frame my hands re-traced, as they did last night this time rubbing circles into the fabric of her skirt in place of the delicate skin covering her hip bones she had left exposed last night. I could hear her breath become unsteady as my hand worked their way around her body, my lips eagerly waiting to taste her skin once again.

Her eyes shut tight as she swallowed hard. As she laid there, I couldn’t help but wonder if this was a good idea. What if she doesn’t remember, what then? Would I have to finally explain myself after demonstrating how I selfishly attempted to fulfill my craving for her skin despite her intoxicated state of mind. My lips continue to graze the trail I kissed along her neck last night as I tried to avoid kissing her skin. As much as I wanted to, I knew if I started I had a heavy doubt my ability to stop.

“Alex...” She finally breathed. The first words she spoke since I swept her upstairs.

“W-why are you doing this?” She whispered her lips lightly brushed my forehead.

“I. ” I murmured against her skin as I placed the first kiss on her neck. “Want.”

“You.” I paused placing a kiss underneath the corner of her jaw.

“To remember.” I said as I left a kiss on her chin, continuing the trail of kisses as my hands tangled themselves in circles along the fabric of her clothing.

“B-but I don’t r-remember anything--” She whispered again, her voice shaken as her breath hitched into her throat. Her paralysis wore thin as her hands moved to my shoulders pushing me back lightly, but not off her. She gently pushed me far enough to have me pause my current devotion to her flesh.

Her eyes remained closed, shut as tight as they had been since she first closed them while her brows scrunched together. “Jager.” Her voice emitted, finally making a connection to last night.

“Jager,” She repeated, opening her eyes and pushing my chest further back. “And Captain Morgan.”

“Oh my god.” She breathed loudly, coming to the conclusion I had been so desperately trying to remind her of. At this point she pushed me off her completely. I sat on the edge of the bed, by her feet that she pulled up, bring her legs to her chest as she sat up against the head rest. “I was drunk wasn’t I? That’s why I woke up with the biggest headache of life- and why I don’t remember anything past diner last night.”

“Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.” She freaked out, in a daze- possibly recalling the events to the best of her ability.

I swallowed hard, this was the last reaction I expected from her. Sophia was supposed to hit me across the face and run out, muttering if not yelling how much she despised me for being such a pig. Instead I got a fairly contradictory response. She sat across the bed, huddled up silently freaking out. Her thoughts spewing out into rambles as she tried to collection her memories of last night.

“W-what did I say last night.” She suddenly shot in my direction, her eyes glazed with worry, as if she was afraid she had revealed something. Sophia now was on all fours perched in front of me, as I sat cross legged at the end of the bed. She crawled towards me until we were face to face. “D-did I say anything about, umm... a guy?”

My heart sank as I knew exactly what kind of secret she was afraid of revealing. I simply shook my head, relieving her of her stress. Sophia took a deep breath, holding it for a second than releasing it. Her breath escaping her body as followed her worries. A silence came over the two of us as we both did but at the same time did not want to discuss the events of last night.

“A-Alex.” Sophia began. “This is r-really embarrassing, but I-I need to know. I need you to answer me honestly o-okay?”

I merely nodded.

“D-did, ummm, did I come onto you last night?” Her voice questioned as she shut her eyes almost afraid of the response.

“Well ah-” I started, scratching the back of my neck awkwardly and the question catching me off guard. “Well, umm, in your defense you were drunk.”

I heard a groan escape Sophia’s pink lips, granted I did not give her a typical yes-or-no answer, my response gave her exactly what she wanted to know. She lifted her hands to cover her face as she muttered incoherent thoughts under her breath.

“I am a pathetic excuse for a girl.” She moaned. “I led you on, practically throwing myself at you didn’t I?”

“I should have stopped you, it was my fault Soph. I am so, so sorry.” I leaned in closer to her, but she flinched- moving away lightly.

“So, that’s why you’ve been acting weird all day. I basically threw myself at you like some kind of minx.” She pouted, beating herself up of this whole debacle. “I don’t blame you for acting the way you did Alex, I was out of line--”

“No Soph, stop.” I cut in forcibly. I could take it anymore, she was supposed to be tearing me down, not herself. I was the sober one. I was the one who took control, then quickly lost in. I am at fault. “Just stop.”

Her green eyes peaked through her bangs as she looked at me. “Last night was not your fault. It was mine. I shouldn’t have let those things happened. I mean common, I was the sober one, I should have stopped you. But I didn’t. Things got out of control and it was all my fault, and for that I am sorry Soph. It was a mistake- it was all a huge mistake.”

I watched as Sophia’s eyes glazed over, tears brimming her eyes. Swiftly she stood up, and began for the door.

“Soph--”

“My feelings are not a mistake.” She cut in, hurt oozing with every word.

“Soph, that’s not what I meant--” I tried only to be cut off by her again.

“No.” Her voice pressed, trying its hardest to be forceful as she stood by the frame of the door. “I don’t want to talk to you right now.”

And with that she ran out leaving me in the room, feeling exactly how I expected to. Like shit.