Just Hate Me and We'll End It Here

Bailey

“So…” Alex starts a minute or so after he’s hung up with the crazy lady. Who’s his mom. Of course. Crazy women have crazy sons. I should have realized that. I glance at him, though, as he mulls over the words he wants to say.

But when it… gosh, I hate this word- mother-in-laws… well, that worries me. That, and well… the whole thing just with Alex confuses me so much. It doesn’t help either that I’ve just met his mother too…

“Go on,” I finally urge him when he’s silent.

“My mom,” he says suddenly. “She wants us to come up there. For the weekend. Together.”

I blink at him, uncomprehendingly. “What?”

“Parents house. Weekend. Us. Yes?”

I give him a curt look and he shrugs innocently. I take a deep breath, running my hands through my hair. “Why?” I manage in a strained voice.

“Umm… cause she just found out about… you know,” he shifts uncomfortably. “And she wants to meet you and stuff. So she invited us to come up.”

“Is that an invitation we’re allowed to decline?” I ask hopefully. He raises his eyebrow at me and I slump a little, biting my lip. I tug at my hair nervously, butterflies storming around my stomach.

“It won’t be that bad,” he promises helpfully. “A little odd, but all parents are,” he tries to joke, but it doesn’t even make me smile. “Hey,” he says softly and I hesitantly look at him. “Two days,” he says firmly. “Two days, back at my parents house. We can do it. And if it gets too bad, I’ll take you home.”

“Promise?” I demand after a minute.

“I promise,” he smiles a little.

“Fine,” I mutter, crossing my arms and I turn away so I won’t stare or anything stalkerish.

We’re pulling into the driveway when he suddenly thinks about something. “Hey, what about you?” He asks me.

“What about me, Alex?” I glance at him.

“What about your parents? Did you tell them the big news?” He quirks his smile.

I purse my lips, not looking at him. “No.”

“No? Why not?” He cocks his head innocently.

I sigh. “Because, they would have never cared, okay.”

“What? Every parent cares about their girl getting married. I mean, even if it is to me… or is that the problem? Do they think I’m not good enough?” He poutscutely.

“Trust me,” I snort and roll my eyes, “it’s definitely not that.”

“Then you didn’t want them to approve?” He asks, a little hurt.

I groan. He’s going to twist everything around, seriously. And it’s not worth it. Not when it comes to my parents. My stupid worthless parents. “No, it’s not that. They don’t know, and they don’t care. Trust me on this, okay?” I ask impatiently and step out of the car.

“But- but parents care…” he stumbles a little. It’s like Alex is trying to be careful with his words, but he’s too curious to back up now.

I groan. “No, no they don’t. They didn’t.”

“Didn’t?” Alex looks up from locking the door.

I give him an even look. “They’re dead.” And I start walking to the door.

“Sorry, I didn’t know!” He calls, panicked. “How- how long? I’m so sorry.”

I laugh bitterly, opening the front door and looking back over my shoulder. “Since I was a little kid. They both OD’d, okay? They were selfish stupid people who didn’t give a crap about anyone but themselves. I don’t even know where they’re buried, and I don’t care,” I mutter and shoving my shoes off, I hurry up to my room.

Falling onto my bed after changing into plaid flannels and a wife beater, I sigh and glance out my window. Stupid night. Stupid everything. I run my hands through my hair, but I’m not tired a bit. I’m just hiding away in here from Alex. If he comes in, I could fake being asleep.

“Bailey?”

Dang it. I didn’t hear him!

I sit up quickly, flushing a little for no apparent reason. I turn on the small lamp next to my bed for some light and glance up at him nervously. “Yes, Alex?”

“I- I’m sorry,” he offers hesitantly, though it sounds like a question.

“I’m not,” I mutter, and tug at my hair.

Awkward silence, insert here.

“I… I shouldn’t have kept asking,” he mumbles. “That was wrong, and rude of me. It- I shouldn’t have pressured you, or anything stupid…”

“Alex,” I say and look up at him in the dim light. “It doesn’t matter. All right? I’m over it. I have been for years. Can’t miss what you never had, right?” I ask a little lamely.

He shuffles his feet, and then gathers the courage to come slowly sit on the edge of my bed, right next to me. As he hits, I catch a strong whiff of his cologne, and lame as it is, it almost smells like heaven should. He clears his throat, glances at his hands in his lap, and glances at me through his bangs.

“Are you doing okay? Today… doesn’t seem to be your day. And it’s my fault.” He mutters the last sentence for himself quietly that I almost don’t hear it.

I shrug. “Every day can’t be mine.” My eyes fall on his hands that have crept a little closer to mine. I bite my lip and turn away, wishing the burning in my heart would stop already. I give a small sigh. “It’s life. Things aren’t perfect. I’m okay with that, I guess.”

“I keep ruining things,” he frowns, and mutters more to himself of what he seems to be doing wrong.

This is weird… Alex isn’t the guy to go hard on himself or anything. I frown and finally figure, as awkward as it is, I’ve got to stop it a little.