You're Just In Time

“Yes Alex I will do, yeah I’m fine don’t worry about me I am getting along great.” I was on the phone to Alex, I didn’t like lying to him but I didn’t want to tell him I can’t cope already so he would brand me a bad mother to his offspring.

“Tell Logan I love him won’t you,” Alex said from the other side of the phone.

“Of course I will, tell the other guys we say hello.” I ran to the kitchen to turn off the bottle steriliser.

“I will do honey, I cannot believe how much I miss you both already.” I could feel myself welling up at his words.

“We miss you too, just have fun don’t get too drunk and give all yours fans an amazing show.” I couldn’t say anything else, I was concentrating too much on the three tasks I had to do as well as trying to stop myself from crying over the phone to Alex, I cannot know I’m struggling already I just won’t allow it.

“Don’t worry about that, I’m going to have to let you go now ok, I love you loads and I will call you very soon ok.” I heard kissing noises over the phone and returned them until I heard the dial tone through my ear. I concentrated on what I had to do but it was less than two minutes until I heard screaming through the baby monitor, I put Logan down to sleep around twenty minutes ago upstairs in his Moses basket but obviously something has just disturbed him. I rubbed my temples a little to see if it would get rid of my developing headache and rushed upstairs to tend to my crying son.

Just as I was putting him back down after getting him to sleep again the doorbell rung, a woman’s work really is never done, I rushed down there and opened the front door not really caring that at this present moment in time I was looking far from my best.

“How are my favourite cousin and her offspring?” A big smile stretched across my face when I saw he had bought me some flowers. Since Logan has been born we had got tons of gifts for him and I do appreciate them a lot, I just felt a bit left out and was so grateful I had bought something for me instead, I had started to forget what that was like.

“We are fine thank you how are you?” I asked taking the flowers from him and kissing him on the cheek.

“I’m good, where is the little one?” He asked looking round my front room.

“He’s in his Moses basket upstairs asleep, at least I hope he is.” Pete followed me to the kitchen and I was starting the process of putting the flowers in some water.

“Tiring isn’t it? Looking after a little one.”

“Yeah but I’m doing fine though I’m coping ok you know?” I didn’t want anyone else to see me as a bad mother who couldn’t cope, even though on the inside I was crying out for some help.

“You know you can come and see me, Ashlee and Bronx anytime. Might do the two good to have some baby company,” Pete suggested throwing the stems of the flowers away that I cut off.

“Yeah it would be good, maybe when Alex gets back and we can all be together then.”

“You don’t have to wait until then though, you can come over anytime I mean that. You don’t have to do this all on your own you know.”

“I know but I’m coping fine really, as soon as I need you I’ll be on that plane ok?” I hated lying to Pete as well but I just wanted everyone to know that I was fine and could do this without any help. I mean how bad could it be?