Hearts and The Heartless

THE WHITE BLINDING light was forcing into her eyes, though she didn’t want to. Her eyelids decreased a little and her eyeballs were moving.
“You’re in perfect health.” Dr Strokes said to her after she examined her with every test she could. Emily smiled.
“Now, tell me Emily. How much do you remember so far?”
Emily stared at her own fingers. Should I tell her about those imagination? Should I tell her that I’ve been craving to see River again every night? Should I tell her that I actually can see…
“Emily?” Dr Strokes called.
“I only remembered the lighthouse.” She couldn’t tell her the rest. The conversation she had with River about kids, or how River kissed her on the ground.
“The lighthouse?”
“Yes, it’s near to the beach house I’m staying right now.”
“What kind of memory you had with the lighthouse?”
Her head was blocking with confusion, whether she should tell Dr Strokes about her imagination or not. If I tell her, then I would probably end up in a ward again, she thought.
“I remember that there’s a lighthouse there. That’s all.”
Dr Strokes leaned back to her chair, looked disappointed.
“Emily, you can tell me whatever you want...”
“I know, but that’s all I want to say.” She snapped.
Dr Strokes sighed and stared at Emily for a while, then she scribbled on her clipboard. Emily didn’t know why it annoys her so much when Dr Strokes did that.

She was released for today but had to come back again next month, because Dr Strokes categorized her as ‘refusing to co-operate’ on her scribble board. Emily met her brother just outside the parking lot, and saw he was talking to a person.
“Hey, Ed.”
Both Ed and the man glanced around at her.
“Hi, eh… you’re done?”
Emily nodded, while eyeing the man beside her.
“Oh, this is Mikey Way.” Ed introduced. Mikey shook Emily’s hand.
“Hi, I’m sorry about your memory lost. We had so much fun back then.”
Emily frowned, then looked at her brother for explanations.
“Eh, he used to be your client.” Ed clarified.
“My client? What…”
“We used to work together.” Mikey snapped.
“Oh, okay. Then you must know about the Monday Meeting, right?”
Mikey and Ed looked at each other for a second. When nobody spoke, Mikey chuckled to himself.
“I’m sorry, I’d better get going now, the bus only stopped here for my X ray result.” After nodded slightly to each other, Mikey left.
“What was that about?” she asked when they were on the road.
“Maybe he doesn’t know what Monday Meeting is.”
“He said we used to work together, River told me I always have Monday Meeting at work.”
“Wait, you didn’t tell me you remember something about this. Do you remember your job?”
“Well, no.”
“Then how come you remember you about the Monday Meeting, then?”
“River told me, 2 weeks ago. In the morning, when he was getting ready for work,”
Ed groaned and rolled his eyes.
“Enough with this imagination alright? Are you sure the doctor hadn’t injected you with Vallium or something?”
Emily stunned, Ed didn’t believe her either.

****************************************************************************************************

So this is where you are,
And this is where I am,
Somewhere between unsure and a hundred.

For my wife, Emily.

Emily stared at page two of Hearts and The Heartless book, which contained of those words. She flipped through the page before, it only filled with the paragraph about seeing ghost that she read on the day she went to the lighthouse. She turned to page three, there was nothing written on it, but a small piece of yellow stick-on paper fell into her palm.

Do not change a single thing.

Emily recognized the handwriting as soon as she saw it. It was River’s. Her heart pumped faster, her hands were shaking. Finally, a hope lightened up her face more than a strip of moonlight did before her. Maybe this is the only way she can talk to River again. Emily didn’t want to give a damn about everything else, she didn’t care what Murray or Ed or Dr Strokes will say about this. She knew this is the only way.

One hour later.

“Oh, please River. There gotta be more than these words that you wanna tell me.” She spoke to the ceiling. No one answered her though.
“Come on, if you’re man enough, come down here and get me!” if only Murray could see this, her, talking to the ceiling as if there was somebody up there, looking down at her. Murray must have called Dr Strokes by now. Thank God Murray didn’t see it. She thought.
“Don’t change a single thing? What do you mean by that?”
Of course, no one answered.
“River, I’m talking to you!” she yelled again.
“You’re lucky you’re up there, or I might strangle you right now.”
There was a howling noise from afar, Emily hurried herself to the window.
“Is that you?” she gasped.
“River! I’m right here!!” she yelled back, and the howling noise continued to howl, but paid no attention to her.
“River!!!” she screamed, her voice sailed away across the sea, and the howling stopped. She whimpered and sat down on the bed. Emily didn’t remember how superstitious ritual of talking to ghost would be, but she did put all the lights out. She thought that maybe River was afraid of light seeing that he’s a ghost now.
She threw herself on the bed, her eyes stared at the ceiling before her. Do not change a single thing.
Do not change a single thing. Do not change a single thing. Do not change a single thing. Do not change a single thing. Do not change a single thing. Do not change a single thing. Do not change a single thing. Do not change a single thing. Do not change a single thing. Do not change a single thing. Do not change a single thing. Do not change a single thing. Do not change a single thing. Do not change a single thing. Do not change a single thing. Do not change a single thing. Do not change a single thing.

Those words repeated themselves inside her mind. She couldn’t figure out what it means no matter how many times they repeated in there. She closed her eyelids, relaxing it for a while. Then her eyes snapped open. She sat up straight, and looked to the ceiling again.
“Do not change a single thing, huh?” she spoke, then she walked down the hallway into the living room. Emily searched everywhere for the white sheets, when she found them, she threw them on the furnitures. She even moved the furnitures back to their original spots. She opened the fridge, and thanked God because there’s not much food in there. Just a bottle of wine, a bar of eggs, and a bowl of fruits. She took them out and put them in a paper bag, then put the paper bag away. She gathered all the fridge magnets and put them in a jar. She redecorated her house again for like two hours, then she stopped to look at what she just did. Perfect, just like when she arrived 4 weeks ago.
“Well, now I rearranged it. Will you come down now?”
The dusty ceiling didn’t even care to answer her. She was exhausted, her heart beated so fast. Gasping for air, she marched wearily to the bedroom.
“That didn’t work. Then what do you mean by do not change a single thing, River?” She murmured.
She fell asleep as soon as she placed her head on the pillow. Her mind was deserted, she didn’t want to think about anything else. She didn’t even want to think.