I Left You Bound and Tied With Suicidal Memories

{Tracy's POV}

"Trace," I heard Brian called out when we were having our breakfast.

The guys and their girls had went out to get something - while Zacky? Well, he didn't came home last night.

I looked up from eating my cereal and gave him a smile.

"I was wondering," he said before pausing and shaking his head slightly. "Nothing."

I raised my eyebrow, smiling before I asked, "Come on. You can tell me."

"I don't know how to say this," he paused before mumbling something that sounded like, especially after Bella left me.

He wiped his face in nervousness and added, "Do you want to go out some time with me?"

I stared at his face in disbelief - my mouth was half opened before I could eat the cereal. I have been waiting for so long for him to ask me. And he finally did.

"I'm cool if you don't want to," he quickly said - he was probably frightened by my reaction.

I quickly shook my head as I dropped the spoon onto the bowl and ran over to him and hugged him. He seemed to be taken aback because he didn't move a muscle.

I looked up at him, smiling. "Yes, I'd love that."

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::

{Brian's POV}

As weeks have past, I've asked her to be my girlfriend. We were really into each other. I didn't want to use the word love for the fear of her leaving me.

I was really happy with her - she made me forget about Bella - not that it mattered anymore.

The point is, I've never been so happy in my life. Not even Bella had made me feel the way Tracy made me feel. So we decided to move into an apartment for the time being.

I felt my phone vibrated. It was a text from Jimmy:

Meeting at the beach. Only us guys.

I raised my eyebrows before shutting my cellphone close. "Who was that?" I jumped to her voice.

I turned around. "That was Jimmy. He wants to meet me for something important." I replied.

I stared as she tried drying her hair with her towel. "What could be so important in the middle of the night?" she asked.

I shrugged. "Maybe it has something to do with Sugar?" I suggested and she grinned as she walked over to me, giving me small kisses on my lips.

I brought her closer to me as we kissed; every second getting hotter and hotter. She was about to unzip my pants - that was when I quickly grabbed her hand. She looked up at me, her expression showed hurt.

"I'm not ready yet," I replied with a sigh, "I'm sorry."

Especially not after what I've done to you.

She gave me a fake smile. "It's okay. I understand."

I smiled back, kissing her before grabbing my car keys and left the apartment.

***********

I shook my head and slammed my palm onto the steering wheel.

"FUCK!!!" I shouted.

As I turned towards the beach, I saw Matt and Jimmy standing by the shore. I got out of the car and immediately took out a stick of Malboro red, lighting it up.

"What's so important?" I asked as I took a drag from the stick.

"We'll wait for everyone to be here," Jimmy said without emotions to his tone.

He looked like he hasn't slept for days. I watched as he sat down and took a bottle of Heineken, downing it as much as he can. I looked at Matt for some answers. But it seemed like even he didn't know what happened either.

Jimmy stood up and swayed a little before screaming out loud some unknown language, throwing the bottle into the water.

"I'm here, what's wrong?" we heard Johnny called.

He ran up towards us and stopped when he saw Jimmy on his knees, his hands covering his face. Little sobs could be heard coming from him.

"She left me," he cried.

I frowned.

Sugar left Jimmy? Why the fuck would she do that?

"What happened?" Matt asked as he sat next to Jimmy, putting a comforting hand on the latter's shoulder.

Jimmy shook his head - still covering his face.

"She got a call a few days ago. And she started to act weird. I got home today and she wasn't there," he paused as he reached into his pocket.

He took out a piece of paper and handed it shakily to Matt. Matt took it, read it and handed it to me.

My dearest Jimmikens.

As much as I love you with my life, I can't be with you anymore. I haven't been completely honest with you. A few days ago, K called.

I felt my blood rise but I continued reading the note.

He was watching us, Jimmy. I saw his men outside our house. He told me to leave you in a few days time and to not act suspicious.

Or he won't hesitate to shoot you on the spot. I can't make the same mistake I did in the past.

I don't want you to be hurt again because of me. I'm so sorry, Jimmy. Please forgive me for my sudden disappearance.

I love you. And I would do anything for you. Even if it means leaving you for your safety. Don't come looking for me because you can never find me.

I love you.

Your baby,
Sugarpill

I handed the note to Johnny who read it.

Before I could open my mouth, Matt had his hand on my shoulder. I turned to look at him. Matt shook his head. I frowned, a little confused by his actions towards me.

He looked at my hand. I looked down and saw both my hands balled up in anger. Slowly, I relaxed.

I know I should just keep my trap shut or I'll add the salt into the wound.

"What's up?" I turned to see Zacky with Victoria next to him.

"Dude, Jimmy said no chicks!" Johnny hissed.

Zacky shrugged him off. "Victoria is no normal chick. She's my chick and there's no secrets between us."

"No secrets at all?" Johnny insisted as he gave Zacky the look.

I knew he was referring to Tracy. Zacky glared at Johnny. "Your secrets are not as huge as mine, is it?" he dared Johnny.

Johnny frowned as he turned to look away in anger.

"We'll help you find for her, James," I finally opened my mouth and Jimmy looked up at me, his eyes red and puffy.

"I've a few underground friends who know stuffs," I said, looking at Matt who nodded his head in acknowledgement.

I heard Victoria giggling but ignored it.

"I've friends who works at the airport and train stations," Matt offered.

"I - " Johnny paused as he tried to think. " - I can go drive around in case she'll still around here?"

I couldn't help but to smile to his suggestion but that smile turned upside down when I heard Victoria and Zacky were laughing. I turned around and glared at them.

"Show some fucking emotions," I snapped which caused them to stare at me. "Jimmy's having a problem. If you're not here to help, fuck off! Go fuck somewhere else!"

"Fine, we will do just that!" Zack spat as he took Victoria's hand and walked off. "Good luck in finding her, bitches!"

I tried to control my emotions as I knelt down, next to Jimmy and put a comforting arm on his shoulder.

"Don't worry, Jimmy. We'll find her," I assured him.