I Left You Bound and Tied With Suicidal Memories

{{ Tracy's POV }

We got out of the plane and I felt a cold rush of wind swept through my face. Immediately, I wrapped the coat I was wearing tighter around me.

"Feeling cold?" I heard someone whisper.

I turn my head slightly to look at Brian and nodded my head. He simply smiled and put his hand on my back as he ushered me to move quickly into the bus.

"This place is so fucking cold," Matt cursed as he got in the bus.

"You can say that again," Mara said as she came in next.

"This place is so fucking cold," Matt repeated and chuckled when Mara playfully hit his arms.

I smiled and Brian took his place next to me, wrapping his arms around my shoulders as he attempted to make me feel a little warmer.

"We'll drink some hot cocoa when we get into the hotel," he said as he leaned down to kiss me.

I smiled nodding my head and I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Get a fucking room," Zacky growled as he walked past our seat.

"I'll try to say the same thing when you do that, Zack," Brian retorted back.

I heard Zacky huffed but he did not respond.

"So where's Vic, huh?" I heard Johnny asked.

I couldn't help but to turn to look at Zacky who glared at me before looking at Johnny - who had his arms around Mara.

"We'll be meeting for dinner," he answered before looking out of the window.

::::

{{ Brian's POV }}

Tracy got out of the shower, her hair all wet. I stared at her beauty, before my eyes fell on the cigarette burns on her back. I stared at my feet in shame.

How could I have hurt such an amazing woman? Why did I have to vent my frustrations on her?

"Baby, is everything okay?" her voice snapped me out of my thoughts and I looked up at her, her face inches away from mine.

I shook my head and forced myself to smile.

"Of course," I lied before adding, "I'm just nervous for the concert tomorrow."

She wrapped her arms around my as she sat on my lap, giving me quick kisses.

"You? Nervous?" she smiled.

I chuckled. "Every time. It's a matter of noticing it."

She kissed me again, this time, I held her hips and kissed her back fiercely.

"I love you, Brian," she said through our kiss.

I kissed her harder. All the months of trying to keep my hormones in control is going down the drain tonight. I grabbed her hips and gently threw her on the bed before following suit.

:::::

I opened my eyes immediately and looked at the other side of the bed to see Tracy - her body covered with the comforter. I quickly got out of bed and got dressed.

Why did I broke a promise to myself?

Wearing my hoodie, I ran out of the room and knocked on Matt's hotel door. It wasn't really knocking - I was banging on it.

"Jesus christ! Who the fuck could that be?" I could hear Poison cursed.

The door opened and I saw Poison standing by the doorway, glaring at me.

"Ever heard of the doorbell?" she snapped.

I walked past her and asked, "Where's Matt?"

"How about an apology first?" she said sarcastically.

"What's up bro?" I heard Matt said and I quickly rushed to him.

I heard Poison cursed as she shut the door close before walking into the bedroom. I looked over at Matt for an explanation. He shrugged.

"A nasty argument," he explained.

I nodded my head before shaking it. I started to fiddle around in my seat before looking up at Matt - who was looking at me, puzzled by my behavior.

"I slept with her," I quickly said and my eyes fell to my feet.

"Say what?" he asked, his head closer.

"I slept with her. I slept with Tracy, man," I covered my face in shame.

"Congrates, bro! It's been so long, I was wondering when you were gonna do it," he slapped my back.

I shook my head.

"You don't understand, Matt. I swore to myself that I was never going to have sex with her until - " I stopped.

We were quiet for a moment before Matt finally spoke up.

"Look man," he paused before taking a deep breath, "What if all this is fate?"

I stared at him in disbelief.

"Don't look at me like I'm some crazy person, man. I believe in fate," he said sternly and I raised my hand in a surrendering motion.

He sighed and continued, "Listen man. Just go along with your instincts, alright? Quit worrying too much."

Slowly, I nodded my head and stood up.

"You're right. I should stop worrying. I should focus on the future and not the past."

He stood up and patted my back.

"That's my man!" he laughed and I walked out.

I paused and turned.

"Oh, by the way, Trace and I wouldn't be joining you for dinner."

Matt nodded his head, smiling.

I turned and started walking back into my room. I hope I'm doing the right thing.