Set on False Pretense

I don’t know how I had managed to work up the guts to pass that message to Chad. I didn't even know if he was gay. Admittedly, I didn't for sure know he was straight, but still... God, if he was straight I think I will actually crawl into a hole and die. I watched him intensely as he read and reread the note. My heart almost stopped when I saw his cheeks were slightly pink and a smiled was curving his lips. I immediately felt myself relax but I still didn't take my eyes away from him. He was wearing lose jeans that rode low on his hips and I could see his black boxers over the waist band of the jeans. I felt my blood start warming up. I moved my eyes away from his perfectly formed behind and moved up. He was wearing a black hoodie instead of his blazer which was nowhere around, but sportsmen never got in trouble for wearing sportswear instead of blazers. This once, I didn't care that they were treated with more leniency than everyone else. Because he looked good.

I bit my lip and looked down at the music sheet in front of me. I imagined playing the guitar and then wrote down a couple of notes. I already had the lyrics – in my head – but I just needed the music to accompany it. I vaguely noticed in the back of my mind that the teacher had started talking but I didn't pay any attention. I knew I should, considering we had exams in a few months, but I didn't. I was too involved with my music. "Mr Adams!?" a voice said, snapping me out of my thoughts. I looked up at Mrs Garret staring down at me.
"Yes?" I said weakly and I saw Chad smirking slightly.
"You should be paying attention, you don’t have time to be day dreaming," she said.
"I wasn't daydreaming," I defended myself.
"Oh? And what were you doing?" she asked. Most of the class had turned around now and were waiting for my answer. I looked at Chad and saw he was smiling slightly.
"I was writing music," I said and a couple people laughed but I didn't care. Chad still hadn’t looked away from me, he was now looking at me with a new emotion on his face.
"Well, if you want to write music, you can do it in detention tonight," she snapped and I sighed but she didn't see or hear because she had turned away. I looked at Chad again and saw he was still looking at me. I blushed slightly and looked down at what I had written. I played it in my head while singing the words and it fit perfectly. I smiled and then put the music in a file and pretended to listen for the rest of the lesson.

As soon as the bell went I stood up and tried to leave the classroom as quick as possible. I was walking passed Chad's table and I felt him quickly touch my hand and I realised I was now holding a piece of paper. I wanted to stop and turn to him but I knew I couldn’t so I kept walking until I got to my locker. I put my stuff inside because I had a free period next so I didn't need anything except my music folder. I then unfolded the paper and read Chad's message.
I need to speak to you again.
Meet me in the library next period. X

I grinned and immediately made my way to the library. I knew Chad had frees at the same time as me, but he usually spent them in the gym. I entered the silent library but didn't see Chad anywhere. I went and sat on a sofa in the far corner. I opened my file, pulled a pen out and continued writing the song. "Hey," a soft voice said and I looked up and smiled.
"Hi," I smiled back and Chad sat next to me on the sofa. There was an awkward silence for a short while but then Chad looked at the file in my hands and reached out hesitantly.
"Can I see them?" he asked softly. I looked up at him, into his deep brown eyes and smiled slightly and nodded. He smiled and took the file, his hand brushing my thigh. I had to make a considerable effort to keep my body in check.

I watched as Chad flicked through my songs. I was scared to see what he thought of them, but his expression never changed. He smiled the whole time. He got to the end and then turned to me, still smiling. "They're really good," he said softly and I smiled. "Do you have lyrics?" I nodded. "Where are they?"
"In my head," I smiled and he laughed and nodded.
"I'd love to hear you play one," he said softly, as he passed me the file back. This time our fingers brushed and my heart jumped.
"Really?" I whispered and he smiled and nodded. I smiled and grabbed his hand and pulled him up. We left the library, our hands still joined and I started leading him to the music room. I knew that if anyone saw us that Chad would immediately turn away, so I prayed no one would be in the corridors or music rooms.

We were in luck. It was all empty. I never bring my guitar into school, so I went in and found a school one. I sat on a desk while Chad leant against the wall opposite me. I never play for anyone so I was slightly worried. But I'd committed to playing for Chad now, so I took a deep breath. I opened my file and looked down at the music as I played. "Do you want me to sing?" I asked him hesitantly and he smiled.
"If you want to," he smiled and I smiled slightly.
"Just so you know, this song's about you," I said and saw him stand up a little and smile encouragingly. I closed my eyes as I let the music flow.

"I started to feel while I was walking down the street
Yes I did, and I started thinking about my destiny
And how maybe, maybe just someday I could repay
All the times you sang

All of your warm colors have painted all my days
And all of the tragic tears you took off of my face
'Cause I've fallen off of these train tracks
And nearly seen my death
And I stand here with a song that's left

This will be my destiny
You will be my song, and I will sing
So don't cover up your ears at me
And what I have to tell
I hope that these words, they find you well

I know, I know
When I see it I will know
It's home that I'll go,
When it's my turn to clock out

It's almost like dreaming,
But so real I can't explain
That it's almost hard to think or say
To try to be a different way

This will be my destiny
You will be my song and I will sing
So don't cover up your ears at me
And what I have to tell

So you, do you know what it is you do?
I assume that you're thinking, "Why, yes, I do."
Well I just hope, and pray that you change that soon,
And I would hope and pray if I were you.

If I were you, If I were you
If I were you, If I were you
I'd be asking every single person I knew
To just please say a prayer for me
'Cause I will most assuredly die this century
And in this opportune-filled life that I will leave
I hope to God that I lived for you and not for me

Can you hear me? Can you hear me now?
Is this thing on? Can you hear me?
'Cause I am speaking loud and clear!"

Sometime during the song I had opened my eyes and was gazing at Chad. And at some point he had slowly walked over to me and was standing right in front of me. I was breathing heavily, trying to catch my breath after singing, but I knew with him standing this close I wasn't going to be able to do it. Chad slowly reached out and stroked my cheek with his thumb. "You're really good," he whispered and I felt my heart speed up considerably. I wanted to say something back but my words were stuck in my throat. Then Chad Taylor's lips were softly pressing against mine. My eyes immediately closed and my hand moved to his neck and I held him to me. His tongue trailed over my lower lip and I instantly allowed him access into my mouth.