Without a Sound

"She's not a dead girl," I retorted defensively. "She's just a vampire. Some evil vampire created her and locked her in a tomb."

Gerard was looking at me carefully. Did he think I was crazy? Probably. He probably thought I had just finally gone over the edge of insanity. I might've thought so too if I didn't have bite marks on me.

"When I was visiting... graves, I felt her blood. All the other times I went there, I had thought she was a dead body, but something told me she wasn't. I noticed her blood was... warm," I explained.

When both Gerard and Celia looked at me like I was crazy, I had no choice but to continue. "When I found her, it was horrible. She was lying on a slab of stone, naked and covered in dust. She was just skin and bones, and she wasn't moving, breathing, or blinking. She just stared blindly at the ceiling."

I didn't add that, even through all those terrible things, she had seemed sort of magical. The way the moonlight had poured in and reflected off of her pale skin and her blonde hair even looked beautiful. She had kind of seemed like a princess waiting to be saved by her prince: a damsel in distress.

Out loud, I continued, "I started to second guess myself, and I wondered if she actually was dead, but then she blushed." I smiled. "I think she was embarrassed because she was naked. Anyways, I carried her to a cave."

Gerard cut me off. "You carried her to a cave? Why didn't you just drive her straight home?"

I smiled sheepishly, saying, "Well, I didn't have my car. I went to the cemetery on foot." At least he was starting to believe me.

Celia shook her head in disappointment. "Mikey," she said. "It's like a four day walk."

I nodded, looking down. "It's less than one if you run and don't stop to eat or drink or sleep."

Gerard frowned at me disapprovingly. What were they, my parents? No, they were just worried about me. They knew that sometimes I did stuff like that to torture myself. Sometimes I’d go for days or weeks or months without drinking, eating, or sleeping. Sometimes I ran until I couldn’t take another step. It was nothing big – just something I did to cope. It’s not like it could kill me.

Before he could scold me, I said, “But I didn’t run with her. I was afraid I’d break her. After I put her in the cave, I went and stole a thermos, killed a man, and got most of his blood into the thermos. I drank what was left.” There. That would make them happy.

“I dripped the blood down her throat until she could move, but when it was all gone, she was still really thirsty, and she bit my wrist.”

“Why didn’t you try to stop her?” Celia asked.

I hesitated. “Um… Well, she had to have been really thirsty. She doesn’t really know what a TV is, so she was locked up for at least fifty years. I figured that I’d deal with the pain, and she could have more blood.”

Gerard’s jaw set. Maybe he guessed the real reason I let her drink my blood. I ignored his glare and continued. “She looks a little better now. She can walk around a little. Her name is Charlotte, and she can’t remember a thing about her life before she was locked up aside from her name. She can’t talk either, but I’m working on that.”

There was a long silence in which Gerard and Celia stared at me, gaping, trying to take it all in. I waited patiently, glad I had told them. Maybe they would have ideas or suggestions on what to do or how to help her.

Celia broke the silence by asking, “How old is she?”

I scowled. I didn’t really know the answer. “Physically? She’s probably between twenty and thirty. Technically, though. I think she’s over half a century old.”

Gerard whistled while Celia got up and walked towards me so she could get a better look at the bite marks on my face.

I tried not to flinch when she touched the most recent one on my cheek. “But you continually allow her to bite you and drink the blood you get from your prey.” She said it as a statement.

I shrugged. “It’s the easiest way to get blood to her,” I replied innocently. “Besides, she can’t help it. She tried not to, but it’s impossible. The pull of blood must be a hundred times stronger if you haven’t had it in years.” A little quieter, I added, “She cries afterwards. I think she’s guilty. I tell her not to be sad – it isn’t her fault – but she still cries. It’s senseless for her to cry about something she can’t control.”

“You’re one to talk,” Celia muttered sarcastically.

I glared at her. “This has nothing to do with… my issues. I just came to see if you had any ideas.”

Gerard and Celia exchanged glances. Gerard leaned closer to her and whispered in her ear, “Maybe this is a good thing. I mean, she gave him a reason to come and see us.”

I pretended like I hadn’t heard him. “Well?” I asked.

“I want to see her,” Celia blurted. “As soon as she’s got some control over herself, I think she should interact with other people besides you.”

I smiled, nodding. “I’ll let you know.” Gerard didn’t look very pleased about this, but he said nothing. He knew Celia would do as she wished. “It might be good for her to have a friend that’s a girl,” I admitted.

Another silence began. This time Gerard shattered it by saying, “Mikey, are you sure you’re okay? I got worried about you when I hadn’t heard from you in months.”

I laughed uneasily. “No, Gerard, I’m not okay. I still can’t sleep, and I still can’t stand being awake. But you don’t have to worry about me,” I said darkly.

Frowning, Gerard replied, “After seventeen years, you still can’t sleep?” That’s not normal.”

“How would you know what’s normal?” I retorted, feeling anger bubbling inside me. “You have no idea, Gerard. You have everything. When it all disappears and it’s all your fault, let me know how long it takes you to get over it.”

He raised his eyebrows, taken aback. “Fair enough,” he mumbled cautiously. “Just keep in touch, Okay?”

“I will,” I promised. Looking at Celia, I said, “I’ll call you when she’s ready.”

Celia nodded, looking speechless.

“I’ve got to go now,” I told them. “I have to get Charlotte more blood and go home before she wakes up.”

I saw Celia stifle a smile and decided to let it slide without questioning. I didn’t really want to know what she was thinking.

“Don’t torture yourself, Mikey,” Gerard instructed.

I grimaced and walked out of the family room without another word. Before I made it out the front door, I heard Celia tell Gerard softly, “I think this is a good thing. This girl might be what he needs.”

“I hope so,” Gerard replied.

I clenched my teeth and walked to my car. They didn’t understand that I didn’t want to feel better; I didn’t want to be happy. Well, deep down, I wanted to be happy, but I knew it wasn’t possible, and I didn’t deserve it anyway.