I'm Lying Just to Keep You Here

William slept on the couch last night. He refused to talk or even look at me for that matter. I was still so pissed off and upset about our fight from last night. I didn’t see what I was doing as being sneaky. It seems no matter what I do William gets mad at me and most of the time it’s not my fault.

“Hell’s Belles! Where you at!?” I heard a voice call from the front of the bus. I knew by the nickname he called me it was Jack.

“In my bunk!” I yelled back. I didn’t want to move so I figured he would come to me. The curtain pushed back suddenly and Jack’s face appeared.

“It’s like 3 in the afternoon! Get up!” Jack yelled at me.

“No. I’m staying in here forever.” I pouted like a child.

“Ahh. Still didn’t talk to Bill I see.” Jack said knowingly.

“Nope. He won’t even look at me, so I won’t look at him.” I crossed my arms over my chest. I knew I was being completely childish. I just couldn’t help it.

“You both are exactly alike. He’s being a pissy little girl too. Now get up and go make up with him so I can have an awesome time on tour with two of my awesome friends.” Jack grabbed my arm and pulled me from my bunk. “Get ready. He’s in the dressing room. Be there in twenty minutes. I’ll have everyone cleared out by then.” With that Jack left. I guess it was now or never.

I walked into the venue and wandered around looking for the TAI’s dressing room. I quickly found it and stood in front of the door debating whether or not I really wanted to go through with talking to William right now. Thinking it through, it would be better for me to talk to him now then later. The longer I wait, the madder he’s just going to be. I slowly lifted my arm and knocked on the door. After a few moments of not hearing anything, I took it upon myself to just open the door. I looked around not seeing anyone. I walked fully into the room. When Jack said he’d clear the room I thought he would leave William behind. I guess not. I turned back around to walk out of the room when I heard the toilet flush. The bathroom door opened and William came out. He looked around the room confused and then looked at me.

“Where did everyone go?” He asked.

“I don’t know, but we need to talk.” I shrugged and closed the door.

“Bella, I’m not doing this now. I have sound check.” William rolled his eyes. He grabbed his glasses and a water bottle and started to walk out the door. I quickly stood in front of it making sure he couldn’t get out.

“I know you don’t have it for another hour, so please don’t lie to me.” I spoke harshly.

“It seems to be what we do to one another. Lie.” William shrugged and walked back over to the couch.

“I’m sorry for the whole John thing, but if I tell you the truth you still get mad at me. I don’t know what to do anymore.” I said in a defeated voice.

“I only get mad when you hang out with John and Alex. I don’t care about anyone else. They both still like you Bella. Are you blind or stupid that you can’t fucking see that?” William snapped.

“Ha! Am I blind or stupid!? You’re the one who had some fucking girl on your lap while I was standing in front of you! Did you not see me or are you just so fucking dumb!?” I retorted. He stared at me for a few moments. I didn’t know where he was going to take this.

“Whatever Belles. I don’t know what to do anymore.” He sighed.

“What do you mean?” I looked over at him.

“I don’t know if I want to be with you or if I want this to be over. I mean we can’t get along when we’re not home. All we do is fight. It’s stressing me out and I can’t deal with it especially on tour.” William looked down at his feet. “I love you Bella, I really do, but I just don’t know anymore.”

“I love you too.” I mumbled. We sat in an awkward silence for what seemed like an hour, but was really only a few minutes.

“It’s your call William. I don’t want to force you into anything you don’t want to be in.” I finally spoke. He sat for a moment longer thinking about his answer.

“I think I want a break.” He nodded.

“So, what? You want me to go home?” I asked sadly.

“Just for the rest of the tour then we can work things out.” William finally looked at me again.

“You’re going to Europe right after this tour for like a month.” I reminded him.

“Then after that.” He whispered. I leaned back trying to fight back the tears.

“If that’s what you want.” I whispered back. I stood up, leaving him there.

I guess I had to pack.