Status: I swear I am going to update this!
I'm Lying Just to Keep You Here
It's Never Good Enough To Feel Right
“Why did you do it?”
I jumped up. I didn’t see nor hear William walk into the room. I can’t tell you how long I was on the floor crying. It could’ve been five minutes or it could’ve been five hours.
“I don’t know. I didn’t know how to tell you.” I replied meekly.
“That’s not a good enough answer Bella. Tell me why.” William sighed and sat on the bed.
“I don’t know. I didn’t want you to get mad. I wanted to see them. I just knew you would’ve gotten mad.” I hung my head. It was a pathetic answer, but it was all I could come up with.
“So was this better? Lying to me? I would’ve found out eventually Bella. You’re a smart girl, but this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen you do.” He let out a small, bitter chuckle that made me look up.
“I’m really sorry. I swear nothing happened.” I let a few stray tears fall. My chest and head hurt from crying so much.
“Are you telling the truth?” William moved down to the floor and pushed
“Yes, babe I am. I love you. I really do. Nothing happened, I promise.” I said for the hundredth time since our fight started.
“Okay. I believe you, but since we’re telling the truth you have to answer the next question truthfully. Whether you know I’ll like the answer or not. Lying now will only make things worse in the future.” He paused for a moment to make sure I was looking into his eyes. “Do you still have feelings for Alex, or John, or anyone for that matter?”
I froze. I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t even sure myself what my feelings for them were. I mean I once had a small crush on John, but that seemed to disappear during Warped Tour. Then again, he still had the ability to make me smile and I really like having him around. And Alex. He had his chance. We had a relationship, a short one, but a relationship nonetheless. I picked William over him. I already had this choice and I picked William. Then again I am always wondering what my life would be like if I chose Alex.
“I don’t know. My head is so fucked up. I sometimes do and I sometimes don’t. But I do know that I love you.” And that was the god honest truth. I did love William. He was everything I’ve always wanted.
“Okay. I believe you.” William let go of my face and stood up. He walked over to the bed that was covered in clothes and restarted packing.
“Wait! What are you doing!? You said you believed me!” I quickly scrambled to my feet and ran over to slam the suitcase shut.
“I do believe you, but you have to figure some shit out. I already called Sisky and he said you are more than welcome to stay with him for a while. I’m not mad anymore, but I can’t live like this. I hate fighting with you about the same shit over and over again. Once you figure everything out, then we can talk. I want to be together Bella, but if it’s not what you want then I can’t force you.” William gently moved me away from the suitcase and continued packing. I was too in shock to move or say anything.
I can’t believe he’s really doing this.
I jumped up. I didn’t see nor hear William walk into the room. I can’t tell you how long I was on the floor crying. It could’ve been five minutes or it could’ve been five hours.
“I don’t know. I didn’t know how to tell you.” I replied meekly.
“That’s not a good enough answer Bella. Tell me why.” William sighed and sat on the bed.
“I don’t know. I didn’t want you to get mad. I wanted to see them. I just knew you would’ve gotten mad.” I hung my head. It was a pathetic answer, but it was all I could come up with.
“So was this better? Lying to me? I would’ve found out eventually Bella. You’re a smart girl, but this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen you do.” He let out a small, bitter chuckle that made me look up.
“I’m really sorry. I swear nothing happened.” I let a few stray tears fall. My chest and head hurt from crying so much.
“Are you telling the truth?” William moved down to the floor and pushed
“Yes, babe I am. I love you. I really do. Nothing happened, I promise.” I said for the hundredth time since our fight started.
“Okay. I believe you, but since we’re telling the truth you have to answer the next question truthfully. Whether you know I’ll like the answer or not. Lying now will only make things worse in the future.” He paused for a moment to make sure I was looking into his eyes. “Do you still have feelings for Alex, or John, or anyone for that matter?”
I froze. I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t even sure myself what my feelings for them were. I mean I once had a small crush on John, but that seemed to disappear during Warped Tour. Then again, he still had the ability to make me smile and I really like having him around. And Alex. He had his chance. We had a relationship, a short one, but a relationship nonetheless. I picked William over him. I already had this choice and I picked William. Then again I am always wondering what my life would be like if I chose Alex.
“I don’t know. My head is so fucked up. I sometimes do and I sometimes don’t. But I do know that I love you.” And that was the god honest truth. I did love William. He was everything I’ve always wanted.
“Okay. I believe you.” William let go of my face and stood up. He walked over to the bed that was covered in clothes and restarted packing.
“Wait! What are you doing!? You said you believed me!” I quickly scrambled to my feet and ran over to slam the suitcase shut.
“I do believe you, but you have to figure some shit out. I already called Sisky and he said you are more than welcome to stay with him for a while. I’m not mad anymore, but I can’t live like this. I hate fighting with you about the same shit over and over again. Once you figure everything out, then we can talk. I want to be together Bella, but if it’s not what you want then I can’t force you.” William gently moved me away from the suitcase and continued packing. I was too in shock to move or say anything.
I can’t believe he’s really doing this.
♠ ♠ ♠
I wrote this last night when I was hammered. Nothing was spelled correctly and I kept calling William, Chuck. I laughed for thirty minutes reading it.Comment. Subscribe.