I'm Lying Just to Keep You Here

“Bellllaaaaaa, get up!” Sisky whined. It’s been a week since I moved out of William’s apartment and I have not gotten out of bed unless it was to use the bathroom. I barely ate anything since I arrived at my new ‘home’ and only showered once because Carden and Sisky rubbed shampoo in my hair one day.

“Just leave me alone Adam.” I snapped, which startled Sisky.

This was a daily routine. Sisky would come into my room and try for about an hour to pull me out of bed. Normally, I wouldn’t even acknowledge him. If he pulled me out of the bed, I would just get up and crawl back in it. If he opened the curtains and let the light in, I would just wait for him to give up and close the curtains once again. He even tried force-feeding me oatmeal, which didn’t go over so well. But today was different than our normal routine. I actually snapped at him. I watch Sisky roll his eyes and mumble something under his breath before leaving the room. I pulled the covers back over my head and tried to go back to sleep.

I’ve never felt so low and miserable in my life and to be honest I couldn’t understand why. I mean, wasn’t it me saying before that I was glad I wasn’t with William. I mean he did try to apologize to me right after he sent me home from tour. All I had to do was accept his apology and we could’ve been happy once again. It was my fault for allowing both Alex and John into, what was, William’s home and mine. I knew he wouldn’t have liked it, but I did it anyway. I wasn’t sure if I was so sad because I lost William or if it was because I was so stupid about it. Maybe it’s both things. I’m not too sure right now. I was pulled out of my thoughts when I felt the bed shift beside me.

“Sersiouly Adam, leave me the fuck alo-” I stopped and stared at the man sitting beside me. “w-what are you doing here?”

“I ran into Sisky at the Cobra Starship show and we started talking about you and what happened. I didn’t believe him at first, but looking at you now, I can’t believe what he said was true.” Alex stood up from his spot on my bed. “Get up.” He demanded.

“No, just leave me alone. You don’t know what I’m going through right now.” I tried pulling the covers back over my head, but Alex grabbed them and threw them off to the side.

“Get up.” He said once again.

“No.” I folded my arms stubbornly over my chest. I was in no mood to go through this right now.

“Fine.” And with that Alex left. I quickly got up and grabbed the covers and for what seemed like the hundredth time that day, covered myself in them. I heard my door open and once again my covers being tossed to the floor. Alex lifted me over his shoulder and started walking out of my room.

“What the fuck Alex!? Put me down! I swear to fucking god I’ll kill you!” My screaming, kicking and punching had no effect on Alex because he kept walking with me tossed over his shoulder. I could hear the shower in the distance and I knew then what he was going to do. We entered the bathroom and he swiftly, but carefully, dropped me into the tub and pointed the showerhead so the water was directly hitting me.

“Are you fucking crazy!? Let me out!” I tried to get up, but Alex held me down.

“You’ll thank me later. Now take a fucking shower. We’re going out.”

“You are fucking crazy! I’m not going anywhere! I hate you! I hate William! I hate everyone! Now just leave me the fuck alone!” I struggled again, but it was no use. I was no match for Alex.

“Get over yourself. You put yourself into this and you’re going to get yourself out of this. I love you Belles, I really do, but you have to stop doing this. Your torturing three guys and yourself and none of us can take it anymore. This all depends on you. I know I can’t take this anymore and I’m sure the others can’t either. So here is what you’re going to do. You’re going to clean yourself up and fix this whole mess you created.” Alex threw the soap down next to me and walked out of the bathroom leaving me to sit fully clothed and confused in the shower.