I'm Lying Just to Keep You Here

An hour later and the water is freezing cold and I have yet to budge from the floor of the shower. I was still in my clothes and had no intention of moving. My body started shivering from the frigid water, but I felt like I deserved it after hearing what I’ve been putting other people through. I’ve been completely selfish and had led on three, well four counting Jack, amazing guys. I heard the door open and immediately tensed up once the shower curtain was pulled back. “Seriously, Bella? You haven’t even moved?” I looked up and saw a very annoyed looking Alex.

He let out a loud sigh and went to grab the soap I threw on the other side of the tub. While doing so his hand went under the water letting him feel how cold it actually was. His head snapped in my direction and his once annoyed face was now covered in sympathy.

“You’re shivering. Bella, the water is freezing!” He immediately shut the water off and grabbed a towel. He quickly draped the towel over my shoulders and pulled me up from my spot on the tub’s floor. He put down the toilet seat cover and sat me down on it.

“Don’t move I’ll be right back.” He left the bathroom, only to return two minutes later with another towel and some dry clothes. “Here put these on. I don’t want you to get sick.” He tried handing me my clothes, but I didn’t take them. “Belles, please just put these on.” I nodded and took the clothes. Alex left the bathroom so I could change. The door slowly opened five minutes later and Alex poked his head in. “Are you dressed? Can I open my eyes?”

I let out a small giggle. Alex’s face was too cute. “Yes, You can open them.”

“Was that a giggle? Did you just giggle? Did I, Alex Gaskarth, make a sad Isabella Limma giggle?” Alex smirked and slowly advanced towards me.

“Your face was funny.” I giggled again making Alex smile.

“My face is cute.” Alex grabbed my hips and pulled me into him. My arms immediately wrapped around his waist to pull him even closer. My mind went blank when I felt his warm breath on my lips. I started to move in to close the gap between us when my brain started working again. Just before our lips touched, William’s face flashed in my mind. I pulled away from our embrace and suddenly a rush of guilt overcame me. Here I was being selfish again. I obviously am not over William, but I’m about to kiss my ex-boyfriend whom I still have feelings for.

“What’s wrong?” Alex tried to pull me back, but I pushed his hands away.

“I can’t do this. You said so yourself that this whole thing is fucked up. How am I supposed to make a decision when you guys do this to me? I mean, when all of you don’t have me you’re perfect gentlemen. You make me fall for you guys, but the moment you do have me there are major problems. I’ll take some fault for this, but not all of it. I can’t make a clear decision when you’re all fucking with my head!” I let out a frustrated groan and pushed past Alex.

I slipped on shoes and grabbed my keys and ran out of the apartment. I got into my car and started driving. I didn’t know where I was going or where I was going to go, but right now it didn’t matter.