Skin and Bones

I wake up by a beeping sound. The bed shifts and I roll towards Gerard’s body as he leans over me. I’m pressed against his body with my face against his upper stomach and I can feel his muscles flex against my nose and cheek. I can’t help but smile.

He quickly leans back, but I stay snuggled into his stomach. I open my eyes to look around in the dark room. There’s a slight bit of light that’s fighting its way through the thick curtain, but even then the room is still very dark.

I can see Gerard’s legs lying stretched out underneath the duvet and it isn’t until he removes it that I realize Gerard had his arm around me.

He starts texting on his cell phone. I lift my head to sneak a peek.

“Oh, did I wake you?” I smile as he runs a hand softly through my messy hair.

“No. Your phone did.” I don’t know if he actually understood the mumbles that escaped my mouth, but that’s what I meant to say.

I sit up and lean against his headboard like he does. I manage to see him smile at me before I submit to a massive yawn.

When I’m able to hear and see and close my mouth again, I hear and see Gerard texting again. I hate to be a snoop, but I do manage to read the words ‘how about the mall?’
Gerard sends the message and looks up at me. He’s smiling.

“Wanna go to the mall today? Bob asked if we wanna hang out, and I thought it’d be fun.” I smile back shyly and shrug. I guess it’d be kinda fun. I don’t even remember the last time I went to the mall for anything but groceries.
“Great. We really need to buy you some clothes too. I love that you’re wearing mine, but Mikey is starting to complain.” I giggle and blush.
Gerard squeals and kisses my forehead.
“You’re so cute!” He kisses my forehead again. I love his lips. Even in the morning when he’s just woken up, they’re still soft and sensual.
I bite my lips and find the guts.

“I love your lips,” I whisper softly. If he didn’t hear me, I just said it to myself. If he did hear me, he might giggle at me. I blush.

“Really?” He leans down and presses his lips to mine. It’s a short peck, but I’m sure I’ll relish in it for the rest of the day.
“I adore your lips.” I blush even more.
“And your nose.” He kisses my nose.
“And your hair.” He kisses the top of my head and keeps his lips and nose buried in my messy, tangled hair. I hear him inhale a deep breath.
“I love your smell,” he says airily with a long exhale. I don’t think I can blush more.

Gerard’s phone beep again. He sighs heavily before he pulls his face out of my hair and picks up his phone. I read over his shoulder.

‘Sure thing. Toro’s coming too. 1 okay?’
I turn around to look at Gerard’s alarm clock to see that it’s 12:34. When I look back at Gerard’s phone, I see that the clock on it says the same. Doh.

‘Yeah. You driving?’

“We can get up in half an hour, right?” He’s smiling goofily down at me and I giggle. Gerard’s smile widen.

“Yeah,” I say happily and reluctantly pull away from Gerard’s warm body and out of Gerard’s soft bed. I quickly go to the bathroom and do my business, and when I walk out I see that Gerard is already dressed and pulling the sheets off the mattress on the floor.
He looks up at me.

“Hey. I figured you won’t be sleeping on this anymore, so I kinda wanna get it out of my room.” He grins – looking fucking cute – and turns back to tearing the sheets off the obstinate mattress.

I go over and find the pants I wore yesterday. I’m about to go back to the bathroom when Gerard gets up.

“Just change in here. I’m gonna go put this in the machine and figure out how to start it.” He leans down and pecks my lips.
“It might take a while.” He smiles goofily, but I’m still in a complete haze from his second peck. I can’t get enough of those – ever.

He leaves and I lick my lips before I start changing. And sure enough, it takes a while for Gerard to come back. In fact, ‘a while’ is an understatement. I not only change, but I also straighten hi- our bed and roll up the naked mattress without him ever showing up.

I take the mattress under my arm and walk across the small hall to the laundry room. When I walk in, I find Gerard on the floor with the head of a broom in his hand, sweeping something white onto a dustpan.

“Gerard?” I ask softly. He jumps slightly, but he doesn’t turn around. He rubs his eye against his shoulder and sniffles softly.

“Hey.” His voice is soft and quick, and though it isn’t trembling, it’s still filled with sadness. My inside – all the way from the back of my mouth to the bottom of my gut – twists around itself. My eyes start to tickle.

Gerard sweeps the last of the white powder onto the dustpan and gets up from the floor. He turns around, but he doesn’t look up at me. Instead, he just walks past me and to the other side of the room. When I turn around, he’s pouring the powder into the trash.
He sniffles again.

“Gerard?” He softly puts down the sweeper and dustpan down on the counter, before he leans against it.
I put the mattress down, walk up to him and place a soft hand on his back. He turns around quickly – my hand practically flying off his shoulder.

“Let’s go see if Mikey’s up and ready, yeah?” His eyes are red – inside and around – and his face is flushed. I can’t help but frown at his cheery, careless voice.

He sighs and looks away from my eyes.

“It’s okay. I just freaked out for a sec,” he says and shrugs. I don’t know what to say, and soon I’ve missed my chance to do so.
He pushes himself off the counter and walks out of the room. I follow quickly, but he’s already on his way up the stairs.

“Gerard!” I say his name more forcefully this time, in hopes of him stopping and explaining what just happened.
He stops.

“Let’s just go, okay? I don’t feel like talking right now,” he mumbles, before he walks up the stairs and out of my sight.
I look down at the concrete floor and try to understand what just happened, but I’m so confused.
I walk up the stairs.
I’d usually feel rejected, but…Gerard was crying!
He needs me.
I hope.