A Kiss And I Will Surrender

Gerard’s POV

They made me stay in hospital for coupled of days. They said that they wanted to see if I was alright, but I knew better…I was on suicidal watch. I didn’t talk to anyone, and they wouldn’t give me anything to do. There was a TV, but I never really watched TV that much anymore. So I sat in the bed humming to myself while twiddling my thumbs. The doctors and nurses would come in and check on me…they looked at my weirdly. I completely ignored them and continued to hum. The group came in and visited me, but I yet again ignored them and hummed. Everyone was giving me weird looks and I heard a doctor talking about an insane asylum or something…I’d like to see them try to take me to one of them.

At night when all the lights had been turned off and there was some degree of silence I started singing. I don’t know where I’d gotten this song from, it just came to me.

“Well they encourage your complete cooperation,
Send you roses when they think you need to smile.
I can't control myself because I don't know how,
And they love me for it honestly; I'll be here for a while.

So give them blood, blood, gallons of the stuff!
Give them all that they can drink and it will never be enough.
So give them blood, blood, blood.
Grab a glass because there's going to be a flood!

A celebrated man amongst the gurneys.
They can fix me proper with a bit of luck.
The doctors and the nurses they adore me so,
But it's really quite alarming cause I'm such an awful f***.

I gave you blood, blood, gallons of the stuff,
I gave you all that you can drink and it has never been enough.
I gave you blood, blood, blood,
I'm the kind of human wreckage that you love!”

A nurse obviously heard me and walked into the room with a weird look on her face. I didn’t even look at her, they all thought I was weird now and there was nothing I liked better than being classified mentally insane. I smiled like a maniac and did an evil laugh that I’ve been practising for a while. The nurse’s eyes went big and she ran out of the room. I smirked and started singing the song again.

Mikey’s POV

I sat in the waiting room with mum. The doctor had called us in, wanting to talk about Gerard. Mum was wondering if he’d run away or thrown stuff out of the window. I was worrying about what the doctor had to say about his saneness. A doctor walked into the room and called for Mum and me. We got up and walked over to him.
“Mrs. Way, I’m here to inform you about your son Gerard,” he told mum…as if she didn’t know.
“A nurse noticed that last night he was singing a song about blood last night and when she came in the room he stopped and started laughing like a maniac. Our psychological team has been observing him over the past couple of days and they reckon…that he is slowly losing his sanity.”
I gulped. Gerard was going insane? He couldn’t…he just couldn’t! I wanted to yell at him and tell him that he was wrong and that Gerard was sane…but something told me that it wasn’t true, that Gerard was no longer sane. I snapped out of my thoughts when the doctor started talking again.
“They believe that the process could be slowed down, but he has to take some prescribed drugs. From the tests that we’ve taken on him, he’s been overdosing on his anti-depressants…probably on purpose...we don’t want that to happen, so Mrs. Way you’ll be in charge of the prescription. And I would suggest keeping eyes on him at all times,”
“Thank you Doctor…when do you think he’ll be discharged?”
“Today, we’ll just finish a few things up and then we’ll send him out,” he said before walking away.
Mum sat down again while I decided to slowly make my way into Gerard’s room.

Gerard’s POV

Mikey walked into the room and looked at me. I was doing the same humming and twiddling my thumbs again. Mikey would be the only person I would talk to, but I’m guilty about the promise I broke…and I knew nothing would make that right again. He sat down on the chair next to my bed.
“Gerard?” Mikey asked, his voice was strained like he was holding tears back.
I stopped humming and twiddling my thumbs and looked at him.
“The doctor said that you’re starting to go insane…please tell me this isn’t true,” he pleaded.
I looked into his eyes.
“I don’t know whether I was ever sane,” I told him.
He nodded and didn’t say anything more. Nurses and doctors came into the room and did some tests. I was so happy when they took the needles out of my arms. They said something about being discharged but I didn’t listen to them. My mum had to come into the room before I actually got out.

I walked through the front door, Mum watching me like a hawk…what’d she think I’ll do, set foot in the house and then stab myself or something? I sighed and made my way to my bedroom, but before I could get there mum stopped me.
“Why?” she asked me
“Life had no meaning,” I replied truthfully, lying was going to get me no where.
“What about Mikey?” she asked.
I didn’t reply, I didn’t like to think about how I almost left him.
“What about Lily?” she asked making the pain return
“Don’t you ever say her name again!” I yelled at her.
“Tell me why Gerard!” she pleaded.
“I’ve had enough…I think that I’d love to die” I replied, anger bubbling in me.
She sighed then said “You ain’t no son of mine, for what you’ve done, they’re gonna find a place for you and when you go and just you mind your manners when you go and when you go, don’t return to me, my love”
“Preach all you want but who’s gonna save me?” I said, my voice full of anger and hatred…I knew where she was sending me.
We glared at each other for ages not saying anything.
“Go pack your bags; you’ll be leaving soon,”
“I’m leaving but not to an insane asylum!” I yelled before opening the door to a crying Mikey.
“I’m sorry Mikes…I love you but I must leave,” I said hugging him close.
“Sometimes it’s though it’s easier to fall,” I muttered as I walked away.
I heard Mikey mumble something behind me and I turned around and faced him.