This Time, I Mean It

2 Years Later

She’d come a long way, I thought as I walked around Kitty’s gallery. She’d built herself up after her ordeal, got herself back on track and had made a success of herself.

She’d got her gallery, had thrown herself into it like a project, had decorated the place herself and had painted loads of paintings in the back room to show. She showed other peoples work too and she seemed happy but a little bit of me felt she wasn’t entirely happy.

So why the fuck was she marrying this Dan?

Kitty kept a lot close to her chest since her and Gerard broke up two years ago. She rarely, if ever spoke of Gerard it was almost like he hadn’t existed.

My parents called me only yesterday to say that they’d met up with Gerard’s parents, they’d had their once in a year meet up now that they were so far away from each other and had asked why Kitty and Gerard never got back together, had never even spoke to each other again and I couldn’t answer them because I didn’t know myself.

I couldn’t understand it.

Kitty had got taken into the rehab place and I visited her the next day. She’d told me to go back on tour with the guys but I said it wouldn’t be right without her, of course it wouldn’t. I would have loved to go, just to talk with Bob to see if anything developed but without Kitty it wouldn’t have worked.

It was a cold day today and I turned the heater up in the gallery, went and made myself a coffee in the back room to warm myself up and checked myself in the mirror when I heard the gallery door ping.

I straightened my skirt and went out into the gallery.

And that’s when I saw him.

It was Gerard, he was standing right in front of me and he was blond. I was staring, I knew I was but I couldn’t help it. He looked different, he looked…cleaner than the last time I’d seen him.

He looked fantastic.

“Hi Liz,” said Gerard. He was smiling widely; his eyes were sparkling in the gallery lights.

”Hi, oh my god, its been ages. How are you?” I said to him.

He nodded, “I’m good thanks Liz.” He wandered around the place, stopping at paintings here and there then stopped at the oriental picture that Kitty always kept on the stand. What the fuck was it about that picture?

“I saw this place the other day and I had to come and investigate. I knew it was hers, the name, the painting of the lilies in the window. This confirms it,” he said looking at the oriental picture once more. “And you being here of course,” he said then smiling. “So…how are you? Still teaching?” He said.

”Yeah and I help out here in the holidays. It works well for us. My god I can’t get over your hair, its so….”

“Different,” he finished for me.

“Different but…great at the same time. I like it.” I said.

“Thanks,” he replied. “How’s your mom and dad?” he asked me.

“They’re good,” I replied. “They caught up with yours the other day.” I said.

“Yeah, they mentioned it,” he said going over to the window “I take it she’s not here,” he said, his back to me.

”No, she’s at the suppliers. I don’t know how long she’s going to be.” I said and I didn’t, sometimes she didn’t come back until late. Sometimes she stopped off for something to eat. I’d have to call her up though, call her up and tell her who’d been here.

“How is she?” He asked, he still had his back to me when he spoke but then he turned and I could see in his eyes that he was desperate to know how she was.

Why the fuck hadn’t they contacted each other then? I just didn’t get it.

“She’s…good, she’s done well.”

“I’m glad, listen,” he said putting his arm up to check his watch, “I’m going to have to go.” He looked around once more. “She has done well,” he said and he looked proud of Kitty, proud that she’d achieved what she’d always wanted.

“I hear you’ve done great too,” I said and he had, they were so well known now and their DVD without Kitty in it had sold loads. I had a copy at home and had watched it quite a few times, remembering those days and my time on the bus with the guys.

“Well, not bad,” said Gerard, slightly bashful. “Take care of yourself Liz,” said Gerard and just then the door opened. It was Mel. Shit, they hated each other.

They exchanged a glance and a polite ‘hi’ then Gerard was gone, his blond head walking past the window leaving me slightly gob smacked and wondering what Kitty would think of this.

“What the fuck was he doing here? He’d better fucking stay away from Kitty after all he put her through.” Mel said then walked into the back room to collect her coat that she’d left the week before.

“He was just passing,” I said going out to the back room.

“I hope that’s it, he’d better not be sniffing around again,” said Mel. “I have to go, if she wants me, tell her to call.” Then she breezed out of the gallery.

Yeah, like your sister’s going to want to call you I thought watching the bitch walk back out of the gallery. My mind still full of the fact that Gerard had been here and Kitty doesn’t know. I had to call her, immediately.

**

That night at home in bed I recalled my conversation with Kitty. I’d called her up and had told her who had visited. She was so shocked when I told her, I knew she heard me the first time but she couldn’t speak.

Later, back in the gallery she was pale but her eyes had a sparkle about them when she spoke of him, asking what he had been here for but there wasn’t that much I could tell her, just that he’d guessed the gallery was hers, had recognised the lilies picture in the window and had stared for a while at the oriental picture. I hoped she’d tell me about the oriental picture one day, I was sure there was something about it, something about the two of them and that picture.

I couldn’t understand why they’d never contacted each other I thought to myself yawning then turning on my side remembering Bob.

They’d been working hard on their new album The Black Parade; I’d been on countless websites finding out about all that they’d got up to. There was speculation about Gerard being gay, being linked with that fucking Eliza but never any photographs of them. Ray was single and so was Bob and Mikey was still with Alicia and Frank had got engaged and I was pleased for them, Jamia was great. I wondered how it had been for them looking after Gerard after his drink drugs thing. He’d admitted it all in the press and even on the DVD; he was open about it and unashamed, not like Kitty.

She hated talking about alcohol and drugs, it was as though she was still ashamed and it had brought about something in her life she hadn’t wanted to think about.

I still couldn’t get why she was with fucking Dan, they were so unsuited but she knew how I felt but that was Kitty, stubborn as ever.

**

Closing the gallery door behind me to begin my day’s work I could see Kitty flicking a duster around some of the paintings.

“Morning,” I said, bright and breezily, hoping to put a smile on Kitty’s face. She was down of late.

“Hi.” She said then she stopped what she was doing. “Liz, there’s an envelope in the drawer for you. I recognise the writing, do you?” she said.

An envelope? I frowned to myself as I went to the desk drawer and pulled it open. A white envelope was sitting there with my name on it.

Liz

I stared at it for some time, trying to work out whose writing it was.

I recognised it but couldn’t place it. “Hmmmm, not sure, kind of,” I said, then something dawned on me, “its not…,” then I looked up at her. I suddenly realised whose writing it was. “Is it Bobs?” I asked her and felt my face burning with a blush straight away.

Kitty nodded and just that one mention of him brought loads of thoughts of him back to my mind. My heart was racing, my palms were sweaty and I had butterflies.

I had to pull myself together; I had to calmly open the envelope. I was being stupid but that’s what he was still doing to me, the thoughts of him still made me weak at the knees.

What did he want?