Slip Into The Tragedy

Why the fuck was I picking a fight?
More importantly, why did I even want to, to begin with?
I pushed out my inner thoughts to concentrate on what I was doing.
During the show, as I've seen it a million times before, I went on the computer.
I got posted a picture of Gerard hugging a mystery lady.
Normally I'm not a jealous person but this lady was gorgeous, they looked so happy together.
Jealousy spread like wild fire.

We were on the bus and I was yelling at him about the photo.
"Who is this Gerard?" I held up my laptop to show him.
He looked blankly at it, before shrugging.
My anger flared.
"I don't know.. a fan?"
He shrugged again and turned away from me.
"Don't turn your back on me Gerard, how do you not know? You look like you know each other" I shut my laptop and slid it on the table.
He looked at me like I was insane.
Maybe I was.
"With me, do you really think I can keep up with everyone I meet? You're blowing this way out of proportion"
He stared me down, I felt like a idiot.
"Well you two look real fucking lovey dovey together. I don't fucking care, I'm going for a walk.
Don't wait up for me"

With that I turned from, storming down the steps of the bus.
I was fuming as I walked quickly, I don't know where I was headed.
"What the fuck am I doing? it was a fan. Maybe I'm just a crazy, stupid idiot"
I mumbled to myself, trying to calm down.
I didn't realize how late it was.
I was cold, I didn't bring a jumper.
I groaned at my own stupidity. I was on a roll tonight.
I didn't pay much attention to where I was going or what I was doing.
I suddenly noticed a man standing by a alleyway.
My heart thudded in my chest.
He made a grab for my arm, I flinched away, his fingernails cut into my skin.
"Ouch!" I cried, distracted by my injury.
Suddenly, I was grabbed by my other arm slamming me into the wall.

I hit my head hard, sliding down the brick wall.
"Fuck!" I yelped, the bricks cutting into my back.
The man was on top of me.
I curled my hand into a fist, pulling it back.
He had the same idea, he punched my mouth.
As I just came off the bus I was only in tracksuit pants, he yanked them off quickly.
"No! What the fuck do you think you're doing!" I screamed.
I tried pushing him off, slapping him. I wasn't strong enough.
I whimpered as I knew what was about to happen.
Before I had time to register he was inside me.
Lucky it didn't hurt, but he wasn't wearing a condom.
"Fucking get off me!" I screamed again.
He hit me over and over.
I was dizzy, close to losing consciousness.
Suddenly the man was gone.

I sat against the wall, pulling my pants up and crying.
I waited until I was sure I could walk again.
I stood up slowly, using the wall to make sure I could stand.
I let go, testing myself.
Then I was gone, I started running back to the bus.
Tears were in my eyes, so I tripped more than usual.
I loudly ran up the bus steps, tripping and falling on the last one.
"Gerard!" I screamed, crumbling to the floor.
I took a breath loudly.
Sobs escaped my lips.
"What the fuck" He said as he came running out.
He lifted me off the floor, looking at me.
"You have blood all over your face! what happened"
I tried to calm down a little.
"I... fuck.. Gerard. I was... raped"
I cried harder as he pulled me in for a hug.

Suddenly I stopped crying.
"I'm going to take a shower" I whispered, pulling out of the hug.