Two Worlds Collide

We are in who cares where, Oklahoma. I am in the hotel suite’s bathroom sitting on the floor with a bare wrist and a razor blade. I know what I am about to do is dangerous but I am willing to do anything to make this pain go away. If it didn’t help then there wouldn’t be emos in the world now would there? I know I am going down a dark road but this dark road is the only thing that can help right now. I need to do what needs to be done, and with that the cold, sharp, metal blade cut through my soft warm skin. Sure it stung but only for a second, then like it was some kind of drug I felt better, like a weight had been lifted.

I looked down at my bleeding arm thinking about what I had just done and now the few tears that just trickled down my cheeks became a flood. My arm was dripping blood as I sat there with my back against the bath tub, but that didn’t matter. All that mattered is that I felt better for the time being.

I got up wiped my tears and looked in the mirror in front of me, I am not the same Jazmin that I was before. I am sick and lifeless. I am hopeless and worthless. I know for a fact that the world would be better off without the hindrance known as Jazmin Jeneá. I know my parents would be more than disappointed in me but you know what I don’t care, it is making me feel better.

I stopped my arm from bleeding then put on a sweatshirt to cover up the cut that now stung like hell. I washed my face and put on make up to cover my puffy eyes. Finally I left the bathroom to find Allie sitting there glaring at me.

“What?” I asked bitterly as I pushed past her and flopped on the bed.

“What were you doing in the bathroom so long?”

I sat up and glared right back at her, “Alyssa I don’t feel obligated to tell you want I was doing in the bathroom.”

“Ok better question why are you wearing a sweatshirt and shorts?”

“Alyssa my arms are cold my legs are not? What next?” I asked with my arms crossed.

“Something is up with--”

I cut her off, “Shut up and leave me alone ok!? You are annoying the shit out of me!” and with that I got up, grabbed my cell, and walked out the hotel suite. I don’t want to talk.

Allie’s P.O.V.

Alright I know I didn’t get to spend time with Jazmin for those few years we weren’t together but I'm pretty positive that reaction will never be normal and this was something she would never do.

I walked to the guys suite and knocked on the door, “Guys open the door it’s an emergency!” I yelled through the door and I heard foot steps run to the door.

Joe swing the door open revealing his worried face, “Are you ok!?”

“I’m fine but Jazmin isn’t.”

Nick ran past Kevin and pushed past Joe, “What is wrong with her!? Where is she!?” Nick questioned frantically.

“I don’t know and I don’t know, she just yelled at me then left,” I explained as I walked into the suite.

“Does she have her phone?” Kevin asked.

“Yeah.”

Nick grabbed his phone and dialed her number. After about a minute he began to talk, “Jazi, baby, please don’t do anything harmful. When you get this I want you to call me right back, I am worried about you. I love you,” Nick spoke with the most worried tone I've ever heard come from him then closed his phone and looked at us, “It went straight to voice mail." He looked over at me with his panicked eyes, "Alyssa-Kay tell me exactly what happened.”

“She was in the bathroom for at least 30 minutes and I heard her crying. When she came out I asked her what she was doing and she got mad and left,” as I explained everyone in the room began to get more worried.

“I’m going to call her back,” Nick said as he redialed the number, this time I guess she picked up, “Jazmin!… What?… Ok,” Nick looked at us with a confused face and put his phone on speaker, “Jazz your on speaker.”

“Alright, STOP CALLING ME!” She screamed through the phone and then hung up.

“Does anyone have any idea why she is acting like this?” Nick asked.

“No Nick. We don't have a clue because it’s not like her parents died and she is being forced to live her life in the public eye or anything,” Joe said with a sarcastic tone.

“Joe sarcasm isn’t need right now,” Nick replied with his eyes filling with pain for the one girl he loved.

I sat in silence for a few minutes ignoring everyone else around me and thought about what Joe just said, “Nick he is right. This is your fault.”

“What!? How is this my fault?”

“Because you have everyone in the world watching what she is going through and it is causing stress,” Joe added.

“Joseph and Alyssa stop. Nick this isn’t your fault the only thing is that being in the public eye is making everything more stressful for her. Yeah we are all trying to help her but having everyone in the world watching her isn’t making her better at all,” Kevin spoke as if he was in deep thought at the sane time as he sat down, “I’m just worried she is going to do something stupid. She just isn’t the same and she may never be the same but we still have to be there for her. Allie and Nick you guys are only two years older than her, you can help her out just as much as Joe and I can so keep trying. Nick you can do more than any of us so be there for her, forget that she is your girlfriend and think of her more as a little sister. Imagine this was Allie going through all of this. Now do any of you know where she is?”

“Kevin I hate to break it to you but we are in Oklahoma we wouldn’t know where she would--”

Nick cut Joe off, “The court yard!” Nick jumped up and ran out the door before anyone could ask him anything.

Nick’s P.O.V.

Jazmin likes to relax in quiet calming places and this hotel has a courtyard in the center of the building with a pond, some trees and flowers. Jazmin was sitting on the ground in the grass as I opened the glass door to get to the yard.

“Why are you here?” She asked with a shaky voice.

“Because I love you and I want to help you,” I said as I sat beside her.

She sighed and spoke softly, “Nick please leave.”

“No. Jazmin we are going to talk.”

“No we are not. I don’t want to talk, that is why I left.”

“Jazmin come on.”

“Nicholas please stop talking to me. I don’t want to talk about anything,” Jazmin said as she began to stand up.

I gently grabbed her arm yet she winced, “What’s going on with you?”

“Nothing,” She ripped her arm out of my grip.

I jumped up and followed her to the other side of the courtyard, “Something is obviously wrong with you. It is at least 80 degrees out here and you have a sweatshirt on.”

Jazmin turned to me, “Nick LEAVE ME ALONE!”

“Not until you show me why you are wincing and wearing a sweatshirt, and don’t lie to me I know what you did.”

“No you don’t because I didn’t do anything.”

“Jazmin if you didn’t do anything then take off your sweatshirt. I know you cut yourself, why didn’t you talk to me about this stuff?”

She finally broke down in tears and fell to her knees, “I’m sorry. Ok? I'm sorry,” she whispered choking on her tears as she covered her face with her hands.

I walked over to her and knelled down in front of her, “It will be ok, no matter what you are going to get through this because if I lost you I would never survive a minute. You might not feel like it now but everything is going to get better,” I said trying to stay strong for her as I pulled her into a secure hug.

“Nick everything is just getting worse, like to the point that I can’t handle this. Why did it have to happen to me?”

“Why not you?”

“What?”

“Why shouldn’t this happen to you? Obviously it was part of God’s set plan for you and this is just a test. You are going to get through it because I am going to help you through it… but you have to let me help you.”

“Nick everyone says that I am going to make it through this but it has been months and I am only getting worse.”

“So what you are getting worse? From this point on you are going to start getting better,” I moved my hand so I had her cut wrist gently in my grip making sure not to bring anymore pain to her frail body, “but this is going to stop. What purpose does hurting yourself serve? Both you and I know that your parents would be highly disappointed if they knew you were doing this.”

“Nick I’m sorry,” she said as she began to cry harder.

I placed my hands and her wet cheeks and lifted her head, “Don’t be sorry just work at it because there is a reason God wanted this to happen and this is only going to make you stronger.” I placed a soft kiss on her forehead, “I love you and I will never let anything happen to you… ever,” I said with a smile as I wiped her tears with my thumbs, “Just believe that.”

“I will. Thanks Nick,” Jazz whispered as a small yet beautiful smile broke through the thick wall of pain covering her face, “I love you too.”