What I Go To School For

It was like I was in a dream, a bad dream, but a dream nonetheless. I couldn't move as I watched Nick with this girl. I couldn't help but compare myself to her; she had beautiful blond hair that was braided to the side. She wore a sun dress that showed off how much more fit she was then me. I could see why Nick liked her, she was gorgeous, she even radiated confidence. I watched from a distance as they talked and laughed, Nick looked so happy. Finally I couldn't watch anymore, I had to get away from the happy pair.

I ran from the arcade I didn't even bother waiting for Joe, I just couldn't handle it. I ran until I was out of the malls doors. Out of breath I slumped onto the curb to wait for Joe.

"Don't do that ever again!" Joe said out of breath.

"Sorry." I mumbled quietly.

"I'll call Kevin to pick us up." Joe said still slightly out of breath.

I watched silently as Joe called his older brother he paced in front of me as he tried to convince his brother to pick us up. From the end of the conversation I was hearing Kevin wasn't going to get us. When Joe hung up his phone after an angry goodbye he sat down next to me.

"The idiot has things to do." Joe said roughly.

"Well we better start walking." I said with a heavy sigh. "Its getting late."

The walk was silent I had too much on my mind to think of anything to say. Joe looked like he wanted to say something but he never did. As soon as we got home I went straight to my room. I was lucky enough that Kyrsten was upstairs with Frankie.

I didn't know what to do or think. I waited until Nick got home a half an hour later before going upstairs. I had a feeling Joe would tell everyone what happened, I was right. The second I was in the kitchen Denise came over to me and hugged me.

"It'll be alright." She said.

"I'm fine." I said pulling out of her hug.

She just gave me a concerned look and backed up. I walked around her to go to the living room where I heard Nick's voice. When I entered the room the intense conversation Nick and Joe were having came to an abrupt stop.

"I need to talk to you." I said to Nick.

"I'm busy." He snapped.

"Don't be an ass." Joe warned. "And we're done here."

Joe left the room leaving Nick and I alone. I motioned upstairs to his room. Nick folded his arms in front of his chest and shook his head.

"I'm fine here." He responded.

"Ok." I said quietly.

There was a long awkward pause as I tried to compose my thoughts. There was so much I wanted to say but nothing would form into words.

"Say whatever you have to say." Nick said impatiently.

"Sorry I just don't know where to begin."

"Well I have things to do so if you could hurry up."

I had been staring at the wall next to Nick but now I finally looked at him. He wasn't my Nick, he didn't look like the Nick I thought I knew.

"Who is she?" I asked.

Nick's features softened as he answered, almost looking like my Nick.

"A girl from school. She's a grade above us." Nick said quietly. "I didn't do anything wrong. I was just hanging out with a friend."

"If I hadn't seen you with her would you have told me?"

"No."

"Thought so." I looked away from him. "You like her."

"Yes but I love you." Nick crossed the distance between us and stood right in front of me. "I know I shouldn't have done that but -"

"I love you Nick but I can't do this if your going to lie to me." I felt tears building, a lump forming in my throat.

"I'm sorry." Nick said quietly.

"Me too." I turned away from Nick, there wasn't anything else to say.

Joe was waiting for me in my room. He had become my best friend through all of the Alec shit and now through all the Nick shit. Joe let me cry on his shoulder until I finally cried myself to sleep, and he was still there when I woke up.

"How are you feeling?" He asked quietly.

I sat up on my elbows and looked around, Kyrsten was sleeping in her bed across the room the clock next to her bed read three thirty in the morning. I groaned and fell back on my pillows.

"Like I should sleep for the rest of eternity." I said wiping the sleep from my eyes. "What are doing down here?"

"I didn't want to leave you alone."

"Did you sleep down here?" I asked looking around.

"No I've been sitting next to your bed, I knew you'd be waking up at some point." Joe admitted. "I wasn't being creepy or anything."

"I know." I said quietly. "Thank you."

I moved over on my bed and held the covers up for Joe. He easily settled next to me on my small bed. We stayed up talking about nothing really before we fell into a peaceful sleep.