The Laws of Man and Nature

I didn’t get my hopes up that Nick would be free when we got there and that was good because he wasn’t. I was kicked out of their dressing room into the green room where Denise and Paul went straight to ogling their granddaughter while I sat patiently waiting to see my husband.

I decided enough was enough. He hadn’t come to pick me up from the airport and had left me waiting for half an hour. “I’m going for some water.” I lied.

“Okay, sweetie.” Denise smiled at me as I left the room.

I wandered the corridors for a bit before deciding to wait for the boys to come out of their dressing room. My patience with Nick was wearing thin. He should never have invited us here if he wasn’t going to take the day to spend it with us. To have him be so close but still so far away was a cruel form of torture.

Eventually after keeping Lily and I waiting for over an hour, the three boys emerged hastily from their dressing room and walked straight passed me. I shot up from my seat on the floor and folded my arms over my chest. Nick did a double take and halted causing Kevin to bang into the back of him.

Normally I would have laughed but I was way beyond that point. “Julia.” Nick barely whispered.

I shot him a disapproving look as their publicist, Liz, pushed them along. I didn’t want to watch him walk away so I spun around and headed back to the green room with a knot in my gut.

“Can I have Lily please? I’m going to take her out for some air to try and get her to sleep.” I held my arms out desperately then eagerly put my hands under her armpits and propped her on my waist as I tried to find her bodysuit before realising it was on the sofa beside me.

Denise looked at me, trying to figure out what was wrong. Then, her eyes softened when she realised. “Are you okay?” Paul asked me, also getting his epiphany.

I zipped up her winter one piece suit, put on her hat and then pulled up the hood of it. I held Lily in a reclined position in the safety of my arms as I wandered around the back of the venue. Lily didn’t take long to get to sleep, looking up at the sky she had nothing to distract herself with she soon slipped off into sleep. This was her two o’clock nap so she’d only be down for two hours if I’m lucky.

Denise had volunteered to go back to the hotel while I watch Nick on stage but suddenly I didn’t want to. I could just imagine it though. Going back to the hotel and being alone again, just watching Lily sleep and dream innocently in her small cot. But still, I’d be alone, forced to sleep to stop myself from thinking.

Either way, I’d end up giving into Nick. I always did. Ever since the tender age of sixteen where I was convinced the world would end without Nick it has been the same. The only difference being, everyone believes me when I say I love him and don’t ridicule me by saying ‘you don’t know what love it’. I did and I still do.

Sadly enough, the three Jonas boys didn’t return until seven in the evening. He left me all day, he chose not to see his family, I was fuming. So, Denise had already taken Lily to the hotel under my strict instructions. No way was I messing up Lily’s sharp routine that she knew so well just so she would be awake to see her Daddy. We’d waited enough for him.

I busied myself with writing a new blog for my fans. It had became a regular thing for me to do, it felt nice to know that my music still lingered in people’s hearts and I wanted them to know I still appreciate them. This was the way to do it. Any down time I had was spent on my website letting fans know what’s going on with me.

So when Nick finally got into the dressing room where I was. I needed to teach him a lesson so I resisted the intense desire to grab him and stayed sat on the sofa with my apple laptop on my lap.

“So…” He said awkwardly, I glanced up at him and gave him a small smile then looked back to the laptop screen. “I’m here?”

“Yep.” I replied, popping the ‘p’ just to annoy him.

“Can you tear yourself away from the laptop to come see me?” He folded his arms over his chest and glared at me.

I let out a laugh, “No, I’m busy.”

“But I haven’t seen you all day.” He looked at me, burning holes into my skin.

Slowly, I closed the laptop and put it beside me. “I give up my time to come to New York to see you and so that you can see Lily and I because it’s convenient for you.” I stood up and faced him, “I wake up in the middle of the night to answer your calls because it’s convenient for you to call me at that time. I live in Texas, alone, because it’s convenient for you to live there. Well do you know what?” I paused and ran a hand through my hair, “I’m tired of being a convenience to you.”

“Julia, you know I don’t have any other time that the early morning to call you, I thought you understood that?” His tired voice tried to reason. I could see he was hurt, but I was beyond hurt. I was stomped on and then thrown into a pit of thorns.

I rolled my eyes, “You really have no idea do you? You’re not the only one with a hectic schedule. I’m looking after a three month old baby alone. One who was excited to see her Daddy today but didn’t, because he didn’t even think to take a day out of his fan's eye to spend with his family!”

“Everything I do is for this family! You must know that much.” He shouted angrily at me.

“Nicholas!” I heard Kevin shout. I’d almost forgotten they were in the room. Nick’s face suddenly relaxed a bit as he looked at Kevin.

I looked away, feeling the familiar lump in my throat. I wasn’t about to break down, not today, not in front of him. I grabbed my bag from the sofa and threw it over my shoulder. “I’ll be at the sound board.”

Regrettably, I walked away from him. I hope he would come after me, but he let me get past the stage; a point he wasn’t allowed. No way was he going to get me now, I was getting led by bodyguards through hoards of Jonas fans. I got to the soundboard and climbed up into safety. Paul was there also, sitting on a chair talking on the phone. Another chair was set up next to him so I claimed that and began to look around.

Numerous fans had noticed me and were trying to catch my attention, I ignored them in the hope they would leave me alone. Eventually the security caught onto it and shooed them off back to their seats

I was in my own little world until someone tapped on my shoulder, in their hand they held an earpiece and a microphone. “Nick wants to speak to you.” The stranger said handing me the equipment.

I put the headset on and put the microphone to my mouth. “Hello?”

Into my ear came Nick’s frantic voice. “Julia, I’m so sorry. Honestly, I’m such an idiot. You’re totally right and I really want to apologise and I went to but you walked away into the crowd and I couldn’t go out and now were in lockdown and I’m freaking out because I know you’re upset and—”

“Shut up.” I chuckled, “That was the longest sentence in history of sentences.”

He let out a breath. “I just feel like I’ve been a shitty husband and that’s the last thing I wanted to be because I love you so much.”

“I love you too Nick, have a good show and we can talk about it at the hotel. I’ll be watching so rock it.” I let a smile grace my face. I couldn’t help it.

“I will, for you.” The familiar Nick was shining through now, this is what we needed.

So, after out little conversation he came out onto the stage and completely killed it. It was refreshing to see him so into what he was doing and it made all the hardships of being alone go away to see that he was so happy and energetic. I was jealous though, I wanted to get on stage and perform. I wanted to dance around and sing my heart out; something I hadn’t done in a long time.

I waited at the sound board once they had finished so that he could get showered and could wind down. Half an hour after he had came off stage and the arena was mainly all cleared out, with the few lingering fans waiting for me, I hopped down, took some pictures, signed some autographs then scurried backstage.

When I arrived backstage the boys, Paul and Big Rob were waiting for me. Nick took my hand in his firmly and smiled down at me. I smiled back weakly and walked beside him. I felt comfortable in his firm grip and was elated when he kept a hold of my hand as we walked past the fans and photographers.

Back at the hotel, Nick and I changed into some pyjamas. Nick gawked at Lily for a while whilst I set up her night feed bottle. “I’ve missed you baby.” I heard Nick whispered to Lily.

Once her night feed bottle was sorted I climbed onto the double bed and crossed my legs. Nick finally entered the room and sat opposite me. I looked at Nick and he looked at me before he finally spoke. “I don’t know how we got to this point.”

I sighed, “It’s just, every time I tried to talk to you I felt like I was bothering you. I’m not angry at you I’m just kind of hurt. And whenever I would talk to you your attitude was shit and it seemed like you weren’t listening to me.”

“And I’m sorry if I made you feel that way. You know I only want happiness for you so,” He took my hands into his and looked straight to my heart, “When you leave me tomorrow. I want you to go to Texas, pack some bags and go back to L.A.”

My eyes lit up and I grinned madly. “Really?”

He nodded and I laughed carelessly. In my happiness I jumped forward and tackled Nick back, I put both my hands in his hair and smiled down at him. I leaned down to him and pressed my lips against his.

His hands roamed my body as we kissed. A certain urgency lingered in the kiss and around us. A month of not touching had taken its toll on the physical side. He flipped us over so he was on top and controlling the kiss. Our breathing was heavy. I thrust my hips against his and felt his hardness against my pelvis.

We continued into the night, finishing just in time to feed Lily at one in the morning. Nick took the liberty of feeding her and left me to go to sleep, although things seemed fine now I wasn’t sure if it would last. My hope was that the next day, which he had taken off, would help bring us three together as a family again.

In the morning I woke up before Lily and Nick. I changed into a denim short jumpsuit then put on some black heels. I spent a while doing my hair and make up, I carefully curled my hair and sprayed it in place. Then I smothered some foundation on my face and put a stripe of liquid eye liner on my upper eye lid then extended my eye lashes with some Dior Show. I looked like a teenager again.

I decided once it hit seven that I should just wake Lily up myself or else she’d never nap later in the day. “Wake up baby.” I whispered pulling her up from her cot and into my arms.

She took a while to fully wake up but when she did she was the happy baby I know. Smiling and clapping as I gave her the eagerly wanted bottle and played with her feet as changed her nappy, put some white tights on her then slipped a white dress over her. I put some soft shoes on her and then fastened a cream coloured sweater over her.

Nick woke up at eight o’clock to Lily who was gargling out loud noises. Her voice chords amused her more than anything, so did her reflection, she didn’t know it was her but she still loved looking at herself.

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” Nick asked, appearing into the main room where Lily and I were. Lily sat on my lap facing me playing with her rattle.

“I was awake before she was.” I told him.

Lily spotted her tired Daddy and reached out for him, he leaned over the back of the sofa and stole her from my lap. I cleaned up the hotel suite a bit while Nick familiarised himself back into Daddy mode with Lily.

I sighed happily as I watched my two favourite people together. It was a missing piece in my life that needed to be filled. I felt complete again knowing that Lily was happy. I was happy. From the bedroom where I was packing the baby bag I could hear Nick cooing at her making me smile widely.

Once all was ready Nick and I took off out of the hotel, Lily in her pram asleep with a blanket draped over the hood to hide her from the awaiting paparazzi. I pushed my aviators up my nose as we walked down the streets of New York, Big Rob in front of us pushing the paparazzi back.

“Julia you look so sexy today!” A pap yelled in a strong Mexican accent.

“Watch it buddy.” Nick scolded causing me to erupt into laughter, he nudged my shoulder as I pushed the pram. “Let’s get some breakfast.” He whispered into my ear.

“Norma’s?” I looked up at him and he nodded. I headed off in that direction with a smile.

Once inside I felt safe so I pulled the blanket from over Lily so I could see her then draped it over the sides of the pram. Nick pulled out my seat for me then took his seat opposite me.

“What to get…” Nick said clicking his tongue.

I pulled his bloods kit out of my bag and placed it on the table for him. I already knew what I wanted, ham and cheese omelette so while he chose I observed him. The way his mouth turned upwards, the small shift his eyes would do as they glanced over the menu. Then the morn apparent movements like how his rubbed his neck often and squinted his eyes; a give away he was still tired.

Everything about him intrigued me.

“Do you need to go to the bathroom or something?”

“Huh?” I asked Nick then realised my leg was bouncing up and down. “Uh, yeah I do. Excuse me.” I grinned at him then kissed his forehead on my way.

I let my bladder empty then flushed away my pee. In the empty bathroom it was unusually quiet, annoyingly and creepily quiet. I stood in front of the mirror putting on some lip gloss when I saw something move behind me. Suddenly, I felt a cold object being pressed to my neck.

“Scream, and I’ll kill you.”