Hey Stranger

Zaid’s POV
I lay looking up the my bedroom ceiling, I couldn’t stop thinking about happened between Arden and me earlier…it didn’t make sense, he was calling me by the name from my dreams. The worst part was that it felt right, hearing him call me that just made me want him that much more and I didn’t get it.

I rolled over on to my side to see Arden asleep on the other side of my bed, the sheets barely coving his hips as he lay on his back a few inches from me. I wanted to reach out and pull him close to me, but something felt off. I felt awkward after what had happened…

He’d called me by a different name and I’d liked it…I had loved the sound of his voice speaking Russian to me…I hadn’t realized he’d been whispering in my ear in Russian until it was over. I was too caught up in his body to realize anything while I’d been inside him with his arms wrapped so tightly around me.

I sighed softly, I remember it clearly and I had goose bumps from thinking about how intense fucking him had been but at the same time I hadn’t been in complete control. In my head I was still calling him Adem…but that wasn’t his name and it was pissing me off.

He’s Arden, my boyfriend, the most beautiful boy I’d ever seen…what had happened before had scared me. I bit my bottom lip and scooted closer to Arden pressing myself against his side just wanting to be close. I let my hand gently trace patterns on his chest, my eyes memorizing the way he looked when he was sleeping. I smiled softly and stirred a bit in his sleep so I pulled back not wanting to wake him.

I stared at him for a while biting my lip before I sighed I need to think and I couldn’t do that while he was so close…all that kept coming into my head was wanting feel what I’d felt early. I wanted him again but I would do that again until I knew what the hell was happening between us.

I moved to get up out of bed and suddenly felt Arden’s hand wrap around my wrist, followed by that strange shock I always got when he’d touch the scar on my wrist. “Zaid, where are you going?” He asked me sleepily. He sounded so weak and scared. He’d been dreaming, he always sounded small and childlike when he was coming out of a deep dream. It was something I’d come to notice right after his dad had beat him up…it wasn’t a good be leaving him just after he woke up but I needed to be alone for a moment.

“Pomni, ya vsеgda ryadom.” I said suddenly in Russian. I don’t know why I’d told him that I was always next to him…but it was another thing that just felt right. He looked up at me with those sleepy eyes and his hair a mess and he looked so angelic and sweet. I almost lay back down with him but I need to think and walk it out but I couldn’t do that in here with him.

“I’m just going to go down and talk to Nadia for a moment and then I’ll be back up.” I said giving him my best reassuring smile. He bit his bottom lip, looking scared and I didn’t know why…I’d be just down the stairs, why did he look like I was running away from him. I was about to just shrug it off and just climb back in with him when his fingers uncurled from around him wrist and I watched him nod.

“Okay.” He said laying back on the bed snuggling into the sheets.

I grabbed a pair of lose green sweat pants and slipped into them as well as a zip up hoodie though I let it undone. My Aunt had seen me like this before so it really didn’t matter to me. I wasn’t going to be talking to her for very long anyway so it didn’t matter to me. I needed to walk and that’s what I was going to do. I did feel a little guilty about lieing to Arden but it was something minor I’d be back before long anyway.

As I opened the door I heard him call my name and I looked back. “Zaid, I love you…” he said in small fearful sounded voice…I didn’t’ get it but I smiled at him anyway. “I love you too, I’ll be back soon. Try to get some sleep.” I said before I left my room closing the door behind me.

I took the stairs practically two at a time moving as fast as I could to get out the front door. I only stopped to pull on my running shoes and tell Nadia what I was doing. She was sitting at the kitchen table reading a book and when I walked past her she didn’t even look up at me.

“You’re leaving dressed like that?” She asked a distasteful look scrunching her nose.

“I’m going running…” I said as I started to tie up my shoe.

“It’s ten o’clock at night, and, might I add…there is a very cute boy up in your room.” She said crossing her arms over chest and leaning back in her chair. She was glaring at me as if she knew something was up.

“I have to think.” I said shifting from foot to foot.

“Did you and Ardenka fight?” She asked me, she’d come up with another little Russian pet name for Arden.

“No…” I said looking down.

“Then what is the issue?” She raised a slim black brow.

I growled softly. “*Tyotia…I just want to go running okay…I tell you everything later. I promise.”

“But you did not answer the question, *rodimy…Is everything okay between Ardenka and yourself?”

I nodded. “Yes, we’re fine, no fights or arguments…I just can’t sleep.”

She replied with a wave of her hand telling me I could go and went back to book. I didn’t even look back as I bolted out the back door and took off down the side walk. I needed to get my head straight and running was the only way I could do it. Hell I’d run all fucking night if it meant that this stupid awkward feeling around Arden would go the fuck away. Stupid journals…stupid voices, stupid thoughts, and I was stupid for leaving.

As I ran I had this really bad feeling, like something was wrong even though I didn’t know what it was. Usually I was able to tune everything out, it was just me and my sneakers hitting the sidewalk but this time…my chest hurt, like I’d somehow fucked up and I didn’t know why.