Abercrombie & Bitch

Saturday, June 20, 4:30pm – Dad's house

“Miranda!” Donna called from downstairs. I glanced up from my homework. “Jay's here!”

I couldn't fight my smile. I met Jay during the last month of my new school. We'd bonded right away, since he was in all of my classes and very outgoing. I don't know, something just clicked. We weren't dating, or anything like that. I don't think my brain would be able to handle that just yet.

I closed the textbook – I can't honestly tell you what subject it was, I wasn't paying attention – and raced down the stairs two at a time.

Seven weeks. It's been seven weeks since I came to Dad's house. I've learned a lot in seven weeks. Mostly – if I ever have kids, I want a daughter. I mean, Sean's adorable, but man that boy has some lungs on him. He's going to be one of those screamo band singers, I just know it.

But, seriously. I've talked to Donelle and Riley constantly; they say they miss me, and that everyone else back home does. I have a hard time believing them. I mean, I miss my sisters and Riley and Donelle and Mika, but I have a hard time believing that anybody else – I'm not mentioning names – would miss me. After how horrible I was to them. It's taking longer than I'd hoped to make me forget about what I've done. Not that I want to forget, really, but I just...

I don't really want to remember.

Jay makes me forget everything. Even if our relationship is strictly platonic.

“Hey, Miranda,” he said, a grin stretching across his face. His light brown hair flopped into his green eyes as he raked his fingers through it, glancing nervously at Donna. They weren't very fond of each other, but I've yet to understand why. Let's just say he's not allowed in the house. Ever. Donna's actually really nice most of the time, but I think she sees Jay as a 'bad seed'. Just because he stole a car when he was fifteen.

I've done worse, trust me.

“Hey, Jay.” I grabbed my denim jacket off of the coat rack – even if it was June, it was better safe than sorry, and besides we'd been having strange weather lately – and turned to Donna, who had her arms crossed over her chest and her lips pursed. “I'll be back later, okay?”

She waved reluctantly. “Alright. As long as you have your phone with you, and promise to call if something comes up.”

This is why she was so cool. It was totally unnecessary of her to put up with me the way she did. I mean, any normal woman would be uncomfortable with the daughter of her husband and his ex-wife showing up at her door and asking to spend the summer there. She completely accepted me for who I was – even if I wasn't a model student – and didn't ask questions. She was nothing like my mom. She was much, much better.

I pecked her on the cheek before following Jay out the door. “Will do. Later, Donna!”

Jay chuckled as I stepped out into the humid, smoggy air. No one ever said Pittsburgh was a clean city, that's for sure. I guess the suburbs were alright compared to the city, but it took some getting used to. “Dude, how do you actually stand living with her?”

I coughed a few times. I still wasn't used to the whole smog-filling-my-lungs thing just yet. Jay, of course, was, and therefore thought I was weird. Screw him.

“She's not that bad,” I defended hoarsely.

He rolled his eyes. “Whatever you say. Hey, they just opened up a new club. You wanna go check it out?”

I raised an eyebrow. “Jay, it's four. Normal people don't go to clubs until nighttime.”

“Since when have I ever been normal?” he scoffed, pulling his hood over his messy hair despite the fact that it must have been upwards of ninety degrees out. “Besides, my brother's friends with the owner. We can get a good look before they open.”

I still wasn't convinced. “Maybe we should just go to the mall or something...”

“It's air-conditioned.”

“I'm in.”

-[-]-

Saturday, June 20, 8:44pm – Club Nocturne

I had a feeling that going to a club with Jay would be... interesting. I just didn't think he was going to hijack the karaoke machine.

“I like big butts, and I cannot lie!” he belted – off-key, naturally – dancing like a maniac. I shook my head, my shoulders shaking with laughter. “Yo' other brothers... wait, is that right? Cain't deny, when a girl walks in with an itty-bitty – seriously, is that the right words? – waist and a round thing in yo' face, you get-”

“JAY!” his brother roared, slamming his hand down on the table he was sitting at, “What did I tell you about using the karaoke machine?!”

Jay seriously contemplated this for a second, scratching the back of his head. “Uh... not to do it?”

I laughed and shook my head as he jumped off the stage, striking a pose, and made his way towards the back of the club, elbowing the teens who had managed to get in. They were brave – the bouncer scared the living daylights out of me. Even if there was no alcohol in the place, they sure kept tight security.

The brunette boy flopped down into the booth I was occupying and grabbed a soda, flipping the top open. After taking a long sip, he asked, “So, Panda. Why'd you really come here?”

I choked on the virgin piña colada I was drinking. I had told Jay vaguely what had happened, but I preferred not to tell him the whole thing. It made me seem more mysterious, I guess. I think it was just because I didn't want anyone to think I was weak. I'm no psychologist.

I finally calmed down enough so that I could talk in a hoarse voice. “Why does it matter?” I shot back, pretending to watch the latest karaoke-wannabe that had taken the stage. It was a girl about my age with cropped blonde hair and a squeaky voice – I only knew that because she'd just burst into a bad rendition of Taylor Swift's “I Heart ?”. I winced as she tried to hit a high note.

Jay shrugged. “Look, forget I said anything. I was just... wondering.”

And cue the guilt. Not that he ever did this on purpose – that I know of, anyway – but Jay had a way of guilting me into telling him anything. I sighed and took another sip, stalling for time.

“Long story short, I was elected Prom Queen, a girl who hated me showed the entire school pictures of me half-naked, and my mother pretty much disowned me.” I frowned. “And then my boyfriend decided he hated me for leaving.”

Jay's eyes widened. “That was the short version?” I glared at him. “Kidding. Why was the boyfriend so mad?”

I bit my lip and stared into the glass in front of me. “I left. I told him I loved him, and that I had to move on.” I looked up at Jay, who was staring at me intently. “He only heard the second part, apparently.”

Jay sat back, studying me face, while I continued to watch the bad karaoke. They had finally switched out the singers, and now an older boy – maybe twenty-one or twenty-two – stood behind the mic, looking confident in what he was doing. He began to sing a familiar song, and as I concentrated on the lyrics I realized that it had been the same one that Zach had sung to me that night on the beach.

“What hurts the most,
Was being so close,
And having so much to say,
And watching you walk away,
And never knowin' what could have been,
And not seeing that lovin' you,
Is what I was trying to do...”

I clenched and unclenched my fists at my sides, tying to refrain from either crying or punching something. Neither of those options were appealing at the moment.

“Well, Panda,” Jay finally said, grinning just a little bit as he said my nickname before becoming serious again, “Did you really care about this guy?”

I just blinked at him. Seriously, when did guys start asking these types of things? Isn't that a girl's job? “Yeah. We've known each other for years.” I left out the fact that we had 'hated' each other up until about two months ago. “I guess I had thought we'd get through this, you know?”

He scoffed. “You must have had a real solid relationship if just a few words broke it up.”

Almost as if by reflex, I slammed my fist down onto the table angrily. “It may not have been stable,” I snapped, narrowing my eyes, “But it was the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

Even as I said it, I begrudgingly realized that it was true. Zach drove me bonkers whenever he possibly could. But... he was always there. Maybe I'd screwed things up big time, but I think there would always be a part of me that cared about him. He was my best friend; then he was my enemy; and now... now what?

I expected Jay to be at least a little bit surprised. But he wasn't. Or, if he was, he didn't show it. “I don't think it's me you want to say that to,” he said slowly, glancing at the stage. A smirk grew on his lips – one that usually meant he was up to no good.

I looked at him with a confused expression. “Wha-”

A loud burst of feedback cut me off. I winced and covered my ears with my hands, turning to see what all the fuss was about. People had stopped dancing and were whispering to each other, looking toward the stage where the music had completely stopped playing. As my eyes adjusted to the bright spotlight that had been cast there, I could feel my heart skip a beat or two.

“Um... hi,” a very familiar voice said into the microphone, standing awkwardly on the stage and running a hand through his hair. “My name is Zach.”

My eyes must have been the size of saucers. I glanced at Jay, who was looking at me with an amused expression. I turned my gaze back to the boy on stage, the one I hadn't stopped thinking about for the past two months. He looked almost the same, except for the fact that he'd cut his hair – something I'd secretly been hoping he would do for months. He looked around the room nervously and cleared his throat.

“Miranda? Are you here?”