Like a Fool

It felt as though there was a monster raging in my chest. Every time I saw them together (like on her porch) it made the monster within roar with anger. But now she was in my arms it was practically purring.

I shook away the thoughts. That was completely stupid.

The rest of the party I couldn’t stop wondering what these new feelings were. I wanted them to just be the fact that I didn’t trust Adam (or any other boy for that matter) with Cain but I had a nagging suspicion that just wasn’t it.

*Carleigh’s POV*
I laughed as I watched the whole exchange between Cain and Matt. They were both completely blind to each others feelings.

Cain at least knew she liked Matt, but she had no idea that he liked her as well. But then again Matt doesn’t even know. I wish they would get over the petty fighting and dump Lexi and Adam.

Don’t get me wrong Adam’s a nice guy but it’s obvious that Matt is the ideal person for Cain. And Lexi is just a plain old bitch so it’s killing two birds with one stone.

“Hey Carleigh can I talk to you for a second.” I was pulled away from my musings by a nervous looking Brian.

“Sure, what do you need?” I decided to be nice to him. It probaly wouldn’t be a good idea to push him away if that’s the opposite of what I want.

“Okay, I know I’ve been kind of a jerk and a bit egotistical but could you please give me a chance and go out with me? If you don’t like me then just say no and we’ll both get on with our lives.” He looked so sweet and vulnerable right now! Who could say no to a guy that actually put himself out there like that?

I smiled widely “Of course Brian. And don’t get rid of that ego too much.” I said smirking at the last part. Everyone likes an ego, and if they say ‘no’ then they’re lying or selling you something.

He quickly pulled me into a hug and as we pulled away he pulled me back and pressed his lips against mine. It was a gentle kiss but enough to show he cared.

Heaven help me I think I’m falling for him.

*Cain’s POV*
I started to meander through the party saying hi to everyone occasionally stopping to catch up with the parents. It seemed like everyone’s immediate family was here.

I was suddenly tackled to the ground in a hug by none other than Carleigh who was chanting “Guess what, guess what, guess what!!!”

“Hey! Slow down! And telling from your expression I’m going to say that Brian asked you out.”

Her expression fell “You know when you actually guess right when someone says ‘guess what’ it really takes the fun out of it all.”

“I’m sorry, but that’s great news! Did he do it just now?” I knew it would happen soon. If Brian wanted something he didn’t dilly-dally.

“Yep! I can’t wait!” Her expression faltered again “But I have no idea when the date is because I rushed over here so he didn’t have time to say. So I don’t really know how long I’m waiting.... damn it.”

I stifled a giggle “Well maybe you should go ask. I know the suspense must be killing you!” I pushed her towards Brian (not that she needed my help).

I grinned and kept walking through the house. I tried thinking about Matt and Adam. I knew I liked Adam (he’s amazing how could I not?) but where did that leave my feelings for Matt? I knew that four years of actually liking Matt more than a friend couldn’t be thrown away in the course of three days.

The thought of not liking him anymore almost scared me. I didn’t want to let go of my feelings toward him, it was almost like an excuse to be miserable. I know he’s a player and having deep feelings for a player is just setting yourself up to be hurt in the long run.

I had to laugh, I just realized how masochistic I sounded. Maybe Adam will help me lean away from those stupid thoughts and feelings. Maybe if I throw myself into the relationship I won’t necessarily be getting rid of the feelings but putting them away for now.

Perhaps my logic made no sense but it was making the confusing thoughts stop for a moment. Which is exactly what I need.