Because These Words Were Meant For You

“What are you doing here?” I asked quickly, instinctively shielding my stomach with my arms as I stared at him.
“I’m allowed to be here.” He grumbled out, his large body leaning into the door frame heavily. “Autumn, please.”
“Please what?” I frowned at him, gently rubbing circles into my stomach as I stared up at him.
“Just let me explain.” He answered, trying to pry his body closer to mine.
But I wasn’t having that.
I shoved on the door a little, showing him that shit like that wasn’t going to fly, watching as he groaned as the wooden frame hit him in the shin.
“Okay, okay,” He groaned, backing up so he stood against the doorway again. “I’m sorry, I get it. Just please, let me in. Let me explain. Let me talk to you.”
“Why should I?” I shot back, glaring at him as I forced my weight from one foot to the other. “You have nothing to explain. I’ve seen it all already.”
“You saw it, but you gotta let me explain. Autumn,” He leaned down, his nose practically pressing into mine as he stared into my eyes deeply. “Please, Autumn. Just let me explain. Let’s talk.”
“Fine,” Frowning, I flicked my finger towards the kitchen and shut the door behind him as he followed me into the kitchen.
I’m sorry,” He said instantly, his body falling into the wooden chair heavily. “I didn’t mean to.”
“You cheated on me.” I answered simply, sliding into the chair across the medium sized table from him. “Cheated.”
“I’m sorry,” He repeated again, resting his forehead in his hand as he stared over at me through his curly brown hair. “I swear to fucking God that I didn’t mean to. I don’t,” He paused, staring over at the fridge for a minute before shaking his head and turning back to me. “I didn’t mean to. I wasn’t myself. I swear to you, she meant nothing to me.”
“But you still did it.” I tried to keep myself composed, but every word out of his mouth made me want to burst out screaming. “Help yourself to a beer, I know that’s what you’re looking for.”
“No,” He frowned heavily, running his long fingers through his hair as he stared over at me. “That’s what got me in trouble in the first place. I swear Autumn, I was drunk. I had no idea what I was fucking doing. I’m so fucking sorry.”
“You still did it.” Shaking my head, I leaned into the table and let my head rest against my hand. “I don’t care what you saw Dillon, you still did it.”
“But I swear I was drun—“
“You’re excuses mean shit to me!” I yelled at him, finally letting go of my soft, calming voice and replacing it with a broken, angry, and demanding one. “You still did it! You drink all the fucking time Dillon! And I know you weren’t drunk, so that’s a fucking pile of bullshit. I know you weren’t drunk because you wouldn’t have been able to fuck her if you were!”
“Just let me fucking talk!” He shouted, his fists clenching as he glowered over me. “Fucking shut up! Just fucking listen! I didn’t mean to! Motherfucker, you gotta forgive me. I wasn’t in the right mind; I don’t even know what I did it. I swear she musta seduced me or something! Like, took advantage of me baby!”
“That’s a load of shit.” Glaring at him, I slipped my hands under my stomach and clasped them together tightly. “And you know it. She didn’t seduce you. Ten to one you fucking seduced her. And she didn’t take advantage of you, even if you were drunk as a skunk you’d be the one pulling her panties down and fucking her against the wall. I’m not stupid Dillon, I know you. I’ve been with you for almost two years! I’m not fucking stupid!”
“Is that suppose to make me wanna run crying? Because it fucking doesn’t! Autumn, just, what the fuck? Can you just listen to me and stop fighting! I’m trying to make up here!”
“We can’t just ‘make up’!” I spread my fingers along the table top, shaking my head. “It doesn’t work like that Dillon. I can’t do that.”
“What the hell do you mean ‘You can’t do that’?” Staring over at me, he shook his head and sighed heavily. “Autumn, this isn’t fucking fair. Just, shut the fuck up and let me explain.”
“You’re not telling me anything! You’re not explaining anything to me! It’s all “I didn’t mean to! I’m sorry” blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.” Glaring over at him, I narrowed my eyes. “It means nothing to me.”
“Dammit, Autumn!” He stood up, throwing his fist into the wall as he stood there, his chest heaving rapidly.
Oh, fuck.