The Walls Caved In

I was a week from going back to school. A week to starting my senior year for real. A week away from being back to normal, in a school where I befriended no one and no one befriended me.

Only I wasn't looking forward to being back to normal. I acted as I did before it all happened, cooped in my room, reading, studying, not sleeping. Only now it didn't comfort me. It made me uneasy, wrapped up in a blanket with a long novel.

I want air. I want out.

Only my dad took my car in for a check-up, leaving me with an empty driveway. I walked to the window, pulling the blinds back to look down at the concrete. I know that my dad would tell me when he got home, but it still can't stop me from wishing that my car was back now, now, now.

The drive was empty. Tauntingly empty aside from.. Mom's car was parked by the mailbox. The blinds snapped against the window as I released them, swaying behind me while I hooked my shoes with my fingers and closed my door behind me.

"Can I take your car?"

"Joyce! I thought maybe you had went with your father.."

"No. Can I borrow your car?"

"I guess. What time do you plan on being back?"

"I don't know. I just need to go somewhere."

I know she wants to talk. I know she wants answers. I only want out.

I parked, opening the door, stepping out and pushing mom's keys into my back pocket all at once. I leaned back against the car door and inhaled, eyes closed. It felt right. It felt good. It felt-

"JOY!" I barely had time to open my eyes and stand up straight before my knees buckled.

I looked down at a head of long wavy, blond hair and tiny arms wrapped around my legs. A face peaked up at me, a wide smile, big green eyes, and flushed cheeks.

"Isabelle?" My mind worked to remember her.

"You remember me! Hi! Joy, I missed you!" Then her face disappeared as she hugged me again.

I squatted next to her, and she continued to smile. "Where's your momma?" I asked, looking for the woman.

She ignored my question, still grinning. "Where's Eric?"

My search for her mom was paused. "Um, um, he's not with me at the moment."

"Why not?"

"Because he had some friends to hang out with."

"But you're his girlfriend. Why would he hang out with them?"

"Because.. um, well. I'm not exactly his girlfriend anymore."

The smile was gone. The happy girl was gone. I thought maybe she was about to yell and throw a fit, her face was so red and the crease between her brow so deep. I don't think I could handle that.

Luckily her mother found us.

"Isabelle!" She said, grabbing the girl's wrist with one hand and swatting her bottom with the other. Isabelle didn't seem affected, as she continued to stare at me.

"I'm really sorry. She was right beside me one second, and the next she wasn't! Thank you, though." I nodded. She reached down for Isabelle's hand, smiled at me again, and went to leave.

"Um, I babysit." I said. I was lying, of course. I don't do it often, only on the rare occassion when neighbors need someone to watch their brats for an hour or two. Isabelle's mom nodded, pulling a business card from her purse and handing it to me. Then they were really leaving, and I had nothing else to say. Nothing else to do.

"But you were made for each other."

She screamed. Finally. She said what she meant, her face returning to its normal color. She felt better. She was better.

I wasn't. I wasn't back to normal.