Love is life and if you miss love, you miss life
Chapter 16
'Things alter for the worse spontaneously, if they be not altered for the better designedly.' Francis Bacon
Sarah’s POV
Ryan pulled out and fell beside me on the floor, panting. I was breathing heavily too and sweat covered my naked body. Feeling exposed I grabbed a blanket from the chair and covered Ryan and I. I just couldn’t believe what I had just done. I looked at Ryan who I could tell was thinking the same thing.
‘I’ve just slept with my best friends girlfriend,’ he murmured staring at the ceiling.
I felt so sick and dirty I wanted to puke.
‘Sarah,’ Ryan turned to me. ‘I’ve always had a….a thing for you. I…..tried to ignore it…but I always felt a connection. But this….shouldn’t have happened.
‘I think you should leave Ryan,’ I said coldly. Ryan nodded and got up. He pulled up his jeans and kissed me on head.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said.
‘Don’t tell Brendon,’ I said.
Ryan stopped.
‘What?’ he said turning back towards me.
‘Don’t tell him,’ I said.
‘But Sarah…’ he said. ‘He told you?’
I got up and looked deep in Ryan’s eyes, the blanket still around me.
‘Don’t you get it?’ I said starting to cry. ‘You tell him and that will be it.’
‘So what was I?’ he said haughtily. ‘Just a fuck when you felt a bit down?’
‘Ryan…..’ I tried.
‘I knew you loved Brendon,’ he said quietly. ‘I won’t tell.’
He got up and left me. I walked around the hotel room in tears. I just didn’t know what had happened. I decided I couldn’t tell Brendon. I just couldn’t. I pulled back the curtains, which revealed a balcony. When I saw what was there I began to sob again. On the balcony sat a table set for two. The candle had been blown out but the place settings were so romantic. I pulled back to balcony door and sat in one of the chairs staring at the empty space across from me. On the table sat a red rose and attached to it was a small piece of paper, which said ‘Sass, I’m sorry.’
I sat there and cried.
Brendon’s POV
I roamed the desolate streets not quite knowing where I was headed. I knew I shouldn’t have left Sass but I felt so much anger. She didn’t even want to be with me anymore. I loved her so much though, I don’t know what I’d do without her. She’s my first and only love and I just felt so lost. I can’t ever imagine breaking up, but she practically just did back there.
Tears sprang to my eyes and I contemplating going back to the hotel, which in the end I did. I didn’t go back to my room though I went next door to Ryan’s. He opened the door and went red.
‘Hey Ryan, you ok?’ I asked. ‘You look a bit flushed.’
‘Oh…y-yeah.’ He answered. ‘Just feel…..a bit….sick.’
‘Dude, do you mind if I crash here tonight,’ I said walking in, throwing my coat on the chair. ‘Sass and I…well… we had a bit of an argument..’
‘Course,’ smiled Ryan sympathetically. I plonked myself onto the couch and fell into an uneasy sleep, not realising how tired I was.
Next morning, Ryan woke me.
‘C’mon,’ he moaned. ‘We have sound check for the gig tonight.’
‘The…what?’ I said groggily wiping my eyes. ‘The…gig….oh yeah…’
I sat up and realised I had to go and see Sass.
‘I’m just gonna go check on Sass,’ I said to Ryan. ‘Just to see….if she’s ok…’
Ryan nodded. I think we both knew I was in for it.
I slowly opened the bedroom door half expecting a hairdryer to be thrown at me. However the room was silent.
‘Um…Sass?’ I called.
Her bags were gone, her coat was gone. I looked around. She was gone. I spotted a note on the table. I nervously walked over to it and read it.
‘I think we both need some space. Sarah,’ the note read. No ‘I love you’ or ‘love from Sarah,’ or even an ‘xxxx’. I sighed and felt more depressed than ever.
I realised that all I wanted was her in my arms.
Sarah’s POV
Ryan pulled out and fell beside me on the floor, panting. I was breathing heavily too and sweat covered my naked body. Feeling exposed I grabbed a blanket from the chair and covered Ryan and I. I just couldn’t believe what I had just done. I looked at Ryan who I could tell was thinking the same thing.
‘I’ve just slept with my best friends girlfriend,’ he murmured staring at the ceiling.
I felt so sick and dirty I wanted to puke.
‘Sarah,’ Ryan turned to me. ‘I’ve always had a….a thing for you. I…..tried to ignore it…but I always felt a connection. But this….shouldn’t have happened.
‘I think you should leave Ryan,’ I said coldly. Ryan nodded and got up. He pulled up his jeans and kissed me on head.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said.
‘Don’t tell Brendon,’ I said.
Ryan stopped.
‘What?’ he said turning back towards me.
‘Don’t tell him,’ I said.
‘But Sarah…’ he said. ‘He told you?’
I got up and looked deep in Ryan’s eyes, the blanket still around me.
‘Don’t you get it?’ I said starting to cry. ‘You tell him and that will be it.’
‘So what was I?’ he said haughtily. ‘Just a fuck when you felt a bit down?’
‘Ryan…..’ I tried.
‘I knew you loved Brendon,’ he said quietly. ‘I won’t tell.’
He got up and left me. I walked around the hotel room in tears. I just didn’t know what had happened. I decided I couldn’t tell Brendon. I just couldn’t. I pulled back the curtains, which revealed a balcony. When I saw what was there I began to sob again. On the balcony sat a table set for two. The candle had been blown out but the place settings were so romantic. I pulled back to balcony door and sat in one of the chairs staring at the empty space across from me. On the table sat a red rose and attached to it was a small piece of paper, which said ‘Sass, I’m sorry.’
I sat there and cried.
Brendon’s POV
I roamed the desolate streets not quite knowing where I was headed. I knew I shouldn’t have left Sass but I felt so much anger. She didn’t even want to be with me anymore. I loved her so much though, I don’t know what I’d do without her. She’s my first and only love and I just felt so lost. I can’t ever imagine breaking up, but she practically just did back there.
Tears sprang to my eyes and I contemplating going back to the hotel, which in the end I did. I didn’t go back to my room though I went next door to Ryan’s. He opened the door and went red.
‘Hey Ryan, you ok?’ I asked. ‘You look a bit flushed.’
‘Oh…y-yeah.’ He answered. ‘Just feel…..a bit….sick.’
‘Dude, do you mind if I crash here tonight,’ I said walking in, throwing my coat on the chair. ‘Sass and I…well… we had a bit of an argument..’
‘Course,’ smiled Ryan sympathetically. I plonked myself onto the couch and fell into an uneasy sleep, not realising how tired I was.
Next morning, Ryan woke me.
‘C’mon,’ he moaned. ‘We have sound check for the gig tonight.’
‘The…what?’ I said groggily wiping my eyes. ‘The…gig….oh yeah…’
I sat up and realised I had to go and see Sass.
‘I’m just gonna go check on Sass,’ I said to Ryan. ‘Just to see….if she’s ok…’
Ryan nodded. I think we both knew I was in for it.
I slowly opened the bedroom door half expecting a hairdryer to be thrown at me. However the room was silent.
‘Um…Sass?’ I called.
Her bags were gone, her coat was gone. I looked around. She was gone. I spotted a note on the table. I nervously walked over to it and read it.
‘I think we both need some space. Sarah,’ the note read. No ‘I love you’ or ‘love from Sarah,’ or even an ‘xxxx’. I sighed and felt more depressed than ever.
I realised that all I wanted was her in my arms.