Always and Forever

No one said anything about the events of Saturday night but that didn’t stop the awkward silence between Jessica and I. There was emptiness inside of me, like something I was looking forward to so much; my first kiss had been stolen from me in the most unpleasant way.

I found myself in quite a daze after the kiss, like I almost couldn’t believe that it had happened. I wasn’t homophobic or anything, I just don’t like girls in that way and I thought Jessica didn’t either. But the girls just brushed it off and the boys thought it was hot. I had never been one to go to all the parties, so maybe it was just normal.

“Holly, what do you think of this? Holly!” Brendon gave me a curious look but didn’t question me. I glanced down at the computer screen at the slide Brendon had just finished.

It was horrible.

The kid was great at researching, he was great at writing up the orals but he was most definitely lacking in the presentation department.

I sighed pulling the screen over to me and slowly but surely fixing all the slides. It was the least I could do considering he did most of the project.

“Are you okay Holly?” Brendon asked.

“I’m fine Brendon” I sighed.

“You sure?”

“Yes” I snapped.

“How was your party?”

“Great” I rolled my eyes.

“Are they still telling you to lose weight?”

“Fuck Brendon! What is this! The Spanish Inquisition?” I snapped.

He sighed loudly “Sorry for bothering to care.”

I sighed “Sorry Brendon, it’s just, well, things are tough.”

He nodded but thankfully didn’t press any further.

We worked in silence with nothing but small talk over the project breaking it. After the week I had I couldn’t help but be thankful. That was one thing I loved about Brendon. If I didn’t want to talk, we didn’t have to. If I wanted to work in the backyard we’d go down to the backyard, and if I didn’t feel like working we wouldn’t work either. There was no justifying myself. I didn’t have to have an explanation for everything I did and the same went for him.

We were wrapping up the final parts of the project and I couldn’t help but feel slightly sad knowing that this would be our last study session and possibly the last time we’d talk again.
I sighed running through the slideshow for the last time and reading my cue cards which went with it. “That’s it.”

Brendon nodded slowly “We survived it although many people didn’t think we would.”

I laughed quietly “Well Bren, you weren’t as bad as people make you out to be.”

He laughed “And you’re not a superficial plastic slut.”

I rolled my eyes and began to pack up my things “Thanks Brendon.”

I was walking back to my car alone, the cold air whipping around me making me feel so cold. I tried not to cry, but it was hard, I was a very emotional person. Throughout the whole project I knew nothing could happen with me and Brendon but I still wanted something to happen. I wished I had just plucked up the guts and asked him out to coffee or maybe to a movie. It felt like I was just beginning to know the real Brendon. The Brendon who was warm, who smiled, laughed and whose eyes lit up a room instead of clearing out a whole corridor.

I quickly blinked away the tears and unlock my car putting my bag in the backseat.

“Hey Holly.” I jumped when I saw Brendon standing awkwardly at my car.

“Yeah? What’s up?”

“Um..” he scratched his neck kind of adorably “Well, a fr-friend of mine, William, well, he, he’s having a party at um... at Santa Monica.”

“The one in California?” I asked curiously. My heart began to pick up speed when I realised what he was going to ask me “Isn’t that like...three hours away?”

Brendon shrugged “Depends how fast you drive. A-Anyway, I just wanted t-to ask you, y’know, if you wanted to go?”

I tried to keep my smile from growing top big and thanked the lack of streetlights outside the coffee store which didn’t show my bright cheeks “A- a party...w-with your friends?”

“Yeah, I mean, if y-you don’t wa-want to go, t-that’s completely cool-”

“Brendon” I smiled “I’ll go.”

“Oh, really?” Brendon’s smile held a bit of relief in it “Okay, well I’ll text you the details yeah?”
I nodded “Sure.”

Brendon said a quick goodbye and left.

I got into my car, a stupid grin was plastered across my face and I was about to scream like a I was still in middle school.

Brendon Urie, the Brendon Urie had asked me out.

And I said yes.

Just don’t ask me what I’m going to wear.

How I’m going to get there.

How I should do my hair.

And my make up.

Oh shit, it’s already starting.