Always and Forever

I sat in the car outside Brendon’s house for about ten minutes to nervous to get out. I actually started talking to myself, trying to pep myself up. I could do it, I could work this out.

“Holly dear, how are you? Brendon told me about the food poisoning how are you feeling?” his mother answered the door immediately pulling me into a warm hug “Love, you haven’t been over in a while, you need to come over more often.”

I smiled politely and went inside while she got Brendon.

“Umm, a-are we going back to your room” I asked my heart rate racing and a small blush rising on my cheeks.

“Let’s just work in the living room”

I nodded and followed him through.

“Hey! It’s Brendon’s girlfriend!” Brendon’s brother in law shouted when I walked into the living room playing Mario Cart on the Nintendo.

“She’s not my girlfriend” Brendon said quietly.

I blinked back the tears and managed to keep down my dinner, I was not going to embarrass myself in front of him.

We split the project in two I (to my pleasure) was writing about Audrey Hepburn and Brendon was doing his project on Gregory Peck.

I ran my hands through my hair pulling on it slightly as I struggled to survive through the night. Being so close to him made me want him even more. He purposely made sure we didn’t touch by leaving all his notes on the other side of where we were sitting so he was leaning away from me.

“Bren” I said quietly, he didn’t answer “Brendon?”

“What?” he eventually replied, keeping his eyes focused on his notes.

“I- I really miss you... a lot” I said quietly again, he didn’t reply again. This time I knew he heard me “I-I don’t know what’s g-going on, I-it’s like... can you please answer me Brendon.”

He just stared blankly at the computer screen focusing on nothing in particular. I leant over to him laying a soft peck on that spot on his neck with that I almost broke him. His eyes fluttered closed and he drew in a sharp breath.

“Please Brendon” I whispered quietly as I continued to kiss his neck “I miss you so much.”

Brendon breathing continued to pick up and with that my confidence continued to grow. I shifted myself closer to him and began to run my hand up his upper leg.

“Stop being such a slut” Brendon hissed pulling away from me.

Confidence hit number: 4

I pulled away from him and started to cry, I was trying everything and it was all blowing up in my face “I- I miss you Brendon, so much, I-I didn’t ha- have food poi-”

“Holly go home” Brendon said quietly, his voice breaking slightly.

“Brendon please, I love you I miss you” I cried desperately.

“Holly get out.”

“Brendon, please, please, I need you, want you-”

“Well I don’t want you!” Brendon roared ruthlessly.

Confidence hit number: 5

“What- what do you mean?” I said quietly not wanting to believe what he just said.

“Holly, go home okay, if you’re going to act like this then I don’t want you around.”

I left Brendon’s in tears that night, again shaking, sobbing and trying my hardest not to vomit but something elso struck a chord in me that night. Brendon didn’t want me anymore. I’m not trying to tell you that it didn’t hurt me because it did, but it also made me realise that if Brendon no longer wanted me, then why am I wasting my time here, crying about him?

***

The next day in history I found out that Brendon had requested to work alone. Of course, if I had requested the same thing I would’ve been told to deal with it, but because this is Brendon Urie he gets the royal treatment.

This all just helped with my plan, my plan to get over Brendon, or at least act less pathetic that I already was. I had Aaron now and he was good enough for me, not perfect but I’ll deal with it, a perfect relationship is a boring relationship.

But deep down I didn’t care how boring it was, I wanted my perfect relationship back.

***

“Okay okay okay shut up everyone!” Deanna squeaked jumping up onto the table in the middle of the cafeteria to gain our groups attention. “As some of you may or may not know, on Thursday is...Holly’s birthday!”

I felt my cheeks turn a pale pink as everyone’s eyes were on me.

“So,“ she smiled proudly as she sat back down, pleased with the scene she created “we need to plan a party, I was thinking Friday night, are you parents and like, brother and sister and all them home?”

I shook my head “But nothing to big okay, because they’ll be home by about eleven thirty okay?”

I let the girls plan my party, from invite lists to food, from dress code to music, I wasn’t in the mood to plan a party today. My mind was elsewhere, I had always imagined that I’d be spending my birthday with Brendon, not at some party with hardly anyone I knew.

I looked around for Brendon, he was sitting on his usual table alone picking away at his food, I was sure he had heard the girls talking.

“Happy birthday for Thursday” Aaron smiled catching my lips as he sat down next to me.

“Why, can’t you be here on Thursday or Friday?” I asked curiously.

“No I will be, but just in case I forget, I’ve already said it” he smiled proudly while all the girls cooed.

I smiled and pecked him on the lips while trying to push out the sounding alarms in my head telling me that he was nothing but a tool, in more ways than one.