I'm Not Okay Without You
Are we Together or Over
Chapter 13
Gerard's Pov
The week was almost over and so was the tour. Me and Frank still weren’t showing much affection out in public. Frank wanted to but I didn't. Finally It was the day we were gonna tell everyone that we were dating. Frank was gonna tell a news person about us but right before he got a chance I freaked out. I made him not do it. I don’t know why I freaked I think it was just cause I was still afraid of what people were gonna think. Frank was disappointed in me but I totally understand. We went back to the bus and that’s when I got the worse news ever and it broke my heart.
"Gerard you promised" Frank said
"I know Frank I was ready I really was I just freaked I'm sorry" I said walking to him and I was going to hug him but he backed away.
"Gerard we made a deal and so once this tour is over we will never talk to each other until the next tour or until you feel like telling our old secret" Frank said and walked away. I fell to the ground crying. I knew that was coming but I was hoping he would understand and I was wrong. After I stopped crying I went to the computer. I needed to talk to someone and I only knew one person who wasn’t going to judge me.
Seidee
I feel like shit me and Frank were gonna tell our secret today but I chickened out and now we are actually over. After the tour is done he isn’t gonna talk to me and this is tearing me apart even though I knew it was coming. I just need to tell someone this and I feel like you are the only one.
Gee
A few minutes later I got a message
Gee
I'm sorry for what Frank is doing to you. I can tell you really love him. Can I ask why you backed out on telling the secret?
Seidee
I just kept thinking about how people will react and I just couldn’t handle them thinking more bad things about me and Frank
Well I understand but just remember what I told you before. Who really cares what they think as long as your happy and I can tell your not happy now cause Frank isn’t with you anymore
Yea but I...I’m just freaked and Frank doesn’t understand that and I know I can tell people What me and Frank are I just need a little more time.
You take your time and if Frank is still waiting for you when you do finally tell them then good for you.
Thanks again Seidee your helping me out a lot now. Thanks for listening to me also. I think we need to meet so I can put a face to who is helping me out with these issues.
I signed off and went to the bunks. I could hear Frank was crying. I felt like shit now. I peeked in his bunk and saw that his back was to the curtain. I climbed in and put my arm around his stomach. He turned his head and looked at me. His face was red and that made me feel worse.
"Frank I am really sorry I just need a little more time"
"Fine you can have all the time you want" he said and he turned his head back to the wall. I pushed him lightly so he was on his back and I got on top of him.
"Gerard I meant what I said we aren't together anymore so we can't do this."
"Frank I want you to listen to me. I Love you I do and I will go to the end of the world for you." I saw a few tears run down his face and I wiped them away. I started to kiss his cheeks and then when he closed his eyes I kissed them. I made my way to his lips and kissed him and he kissed back.
"Gerard... We can't we made a deal" He said and pushed me off of him.
"Fine can we have one last kiss before were completely over" I said hoping we could
"Yea" he said and we kissed passionately for a minute or so and then broke apart and I left his bunk and went to mine.
Gerard's Pov
The week was almost over and so was the tour. Me and Frank still weren’t showing much affection out in public. Frank wanted to but I didn't. Finally It was the day we were gonna tell everyone that we were dating. Frank was gonna tell a news person about us but right before he got a chance I freaked out. I made him not do it. I don’t know why I freaked I think it was just cause I was still afraid of what people were gonna think. Frank was disappointed in me but I totally understand. We went back to the bus and that’s when I got the worse news ever and it broke my heart.
"Gerard you promised" Frank said
"I know Frank I was ready I really was I just freaked I'm sorry" I said walking to him and I was going to hug him but he backed away.
"Gerard we made a deal and so once this tour is over we will never talk to each other until the next tour or until you feel like telling our old secret" Frank said and walked away. I fell to the ground crying. I knew that was coming but I was hoping he would understand and I was wrong. After I stopped crying I went to the computer. I needed to talk to someone and I only knew one person who wasn’t going to judge me.
Seidee
I feel like shit me and Frank were gonna tell our secret today but I chickened out and now we are actually over. After the tour is done he isn’t gonna talk to me and this is tearing me apart even though I knew it was coming. I just need to tell someone this and I feel like you are the only one.
Gee
A few minutes later I got a message
Gee
I'm sorry for what Frank is doing to you. I can tell you really love him. Can I ask why you backed out on telling the secret?
Seidee
I just kept thinking about how people will react and I just couldn’t handle them thinking more bad things about me and Frank
Well I understand but just remember what I told you before. Who really cares what they think as long as your happy and I can tell your not happy now cause Frank isn’t with you anymore
Yea but I...I’m just freaked and Frank doesn’t understand that and I know I can tell people What me and Frank are I just need a little more time.
You take your time and if Frank is still waiting for you when you do finally tell them then good for you.
Thanks again Seidee your helping me out a lot now. Thanks for listening to me also. I think we need to meet so I can put a face to who is helping me out with these issues.
I signed off and went to the bunks. I could hear Frank was crying. I felt like shit now. I peeked in his bunk and saw that his back was to the curtain. I climbed in and put my arm around his stomach. He turned his head and looked at me. His face was red and that made me feel worse.
"Frank I am really sorry I just need a little more time"
"Fine you can have all the time you want" he said and he turned his head back to the wall. I pushed him lightly so he was on his back and I got on top of him.
"Gerard I meant what I said we aren't together anymore so we can't do this."
"Frank I want you to listen to me. I Love you I do and I will go to the end of the world for you." I saw a few tears run down his face and I wiped them away. I started to kiss his cheeks and then when he closed his eyes I kissed them. I made my way to his lips and kissed him and he kissed back.
"Gerard... We can't we made a deal" He said and pushed me off of him.
"Fine can we have one last kiss before were completely over" I said hoping we could
"Yea" he said and we kissed passionately for a minute or so and then broke apart and I left his bunk and went to mine.