I'm Not Okay Without You
You’re Just In Time For The Show
Chapter 25
Frank’s POV
Gerard stopped kissing me and stood from the bed, pulling on his jeans and shirt. I looked at him curiously, wondering what he could be doing.
“Frank, I’m going to go take care of something and then we can pick this up again,” he said, looking me straight in the eye.
“Okay… How long will it take?” I asked anxiously.
“I don’t know,” he replied. “It all depends on if I can find someone.” I wondered what he meant by that.
“Okay,” I said again. Suddenly, I remembered Ally’s words and began to get worried. “But be careful.”
“I will,” he said positively. “Nothing’s going to happen to me,” he said, kissing me again before walking out of the room. I supposed his words should have made me feel better, but I still felt my stomach twist up in a knot, warning me something was probably going to happen and that it was not going to be good. Going with my gut, I stepped out of the room. Gerard hadn’t even started down the stairs yet.
“Gerard!” I called. He stopped and turned around.
“Yeah?”
“Please… call me if anything happens, okay?” I asked worriedly.
“Okay, Frank,” he said, pausing for a moment. “Why are you so worried?” he asked suddenly, looking at me with slight fear in his eyes.
“Oh, nothing. I just want you to be safe,” I said in what was supposed to be a casual, relaxed voice.
“Okay, Frank. I’ll be back as soon as I can,” he said reassuringly. I went back into my room, pulling on my shirt and jeans. ‘Nothing’s going to happen,’ I told myself. ‘Gerard will be fine.’ I plopped on the couch and made myself comfortable for a long run of channel surfing while I waited for Gerard to come back.
__________
After what felt like days, my phone rang. I jumped up and ran into the kitchen, grabbing it frantically off the counter.
“Gerard, are you okay?” I asked immediately, putting the phone up to my ear.
“Yes, Frank, I’m okay. Now turn on your TV to TRL, okay?” It confused me that he wanted me to watch TRL.
“Okay… why?”
“Oh, you’ll see…” he answered, trailing off. “Hey, I got to go but watch it, please. I’ll call you later. Bye.” He hung up before I could say anything. I practically growled at him. ‘Don’t hang up on me, little mister,’ I thought, deciding I’d have to give him that lecture when he got back. I returned to the family room and flipped over to MTV.
“Ladies and gentlemen, Gerard Way,” Damian announced, motioning to where Gerard was beginning to walk onto stage with a nervous grin plastered on his face.
“Gerard had just stopped by and he wanted to tell us something about the band,” Damian said to the camera and the audience, glancing at Gerard. Gerard nodded, blushing that tiny bit that you can’t see unless you know him well.
“Hey guys and girls,” he started, “um… I have had this on my chest for a while and I’m finally ready to do this for the one I love.” My heart skipped a beat and my stomach lurched. “It has to be done…” he said, trailing off before starting up again. “Okay, if you all remember a few moths ago Frank and me were caught on tape making out on stage, then again off stage, though that wasn’t really us. I wanted to clear things up. At that time Frank and I were going out.” There were scattered gasps. Half the guys looked like they wanted to puke while most of the girls wore disappointed frowns.
While Gerard began talking again, I grabbed the phone and dialed the operator, telling them to feed me though to TRL immediately. I watched the TV as Gerard spoke, the phone ringing in my ear.
“I am bi and so is Frank, but we broke up because I was afraid to let everyone know how I felt. But I want to make Frank proud and show him I could do this and that I meant it when I made that deal,” he stopped, looking about the stage, waiting for someone to let him know this was okay. After a moment or two, Damian broke the silence.
“Wow!” he said, over-enthusiastically. At the same time an MTV worker picked up the phone. I told her I needed to get on TRL straight away. She said she’d have to ask.
“Gerard, that must have taken a lot of courage to come on TV and tell everyone something like that,” Damian continued.
“Yeah,” Gee said slowly, “but now I don’t have to act like nothing was wrong.”
“So, are you and Frank going to go out now?” Damian asked, grinning childishly at Gerard.
“I don’t know; maybe, maybe not. We’ll find out later.” The girl came back to the phone and asked me whom I was.
“I’m Frank goddamn Iero! Now put me through!” I shouted into the phone. I could hear the blush in her voice as she mumbled a subtle “sorry” and fed the call through to TRL.
“Oh,” Damian said, surprised. “We have a caller. …Go ahead, caller.”
“Gerard…” I began, “I’m so proud of you and when you get back we’ll celebrate. And yes, Gerard, we will go out,” I said, grinning into the phone as Gerard listened, his expression happy beyond words. The audience awed in unison. “Now baby, come home to me,” I said, watching as Gerard smiled.
“Well, I guess I have to go,” Gerard said, smirking. I smirked, too, seeing his expression. He knew what was going to happen as soon as he walked through that door. My grin broadened.
“Kay, bye, Gerard. Thanks again for dropping by,” Damian said, just before Gerard practically sprinted off stage. I actually laughed at that. I hung up and dialed Gerard’s number.
“Hey,” Gerard said nonchalantly.
“Babe, I can’t believe you did that on TV,” I said, still amazed.
“Well, I had to.”
“I’m so fucking proud of you,” I said happily.
“Thanks,” he said. “I can’t believe you called them!”
“Well, I wanted everyone to know what we were,” I said, smiling into the phone.
“Okay. I’ll be back in a few hours so I’ll call you when I’m in town,” Gerard said.
“Okay. Bye, babe,” I said and hung up. I sat on the couch grinning for a while. This must be the best day ever in the history of humanity. TRL was hours away; no wonder it took him so long to call. ‘Nothing can ruin this day. Absolutely nothing,’ I thought, stretching out on the couch and closing my eyes.
_______________
The phone began ringing, far too loud and high-pitched for my liking. I groaned, rolling over and putting a pillow over my head to dim the headache-inducing sound. After what felt like hours the answering machine finally picked up. Gerard’s voice immediately followed:
“Hey, babe. Just wanted to let you know I’m back in the city limits. I should be home in a couple minutes, so be sure to be there when I get back. I love you, see you in a bit.”
I smiled at the message, suddenly wide-awake. With the knowledge Gerard would be home soon I relaxed, turning on the radio. Some song I didn’t know the words to came on, shaking the floor. I shrugged, liking the guitar in it and deciding to rock out via air-guitar.
Bang, bang, bang. It sounded like someone was trying to hammer through the door. For a moment I thought I would be able to ignore whoever was at the door and began to fake-strum again. But the incessant pounding told me otherwise. Sighing, I crossed over to the door, unlocking and opening it. Ally stood in the doorway, cheeks flushed with rage and eyes glaring daggers.
“You didn’t think I was kidding, did you?” she asked, voice shaking with rage over the music.
“What are you talking about, Ally?” I said evenly. She wouldn’t intimidate me, especially if she was unarmed. It was obvious that I was stronger than her and could easily get her away from me if she tried anything.
“I’m talking about what I told you over the phone,” she replied, voice just as even. “I told you—no, I promised you that if I found out the slut you were cheating on me with was Gerard, I’d kill the both of you. Did you think I was lying? Trust me Frankie-pooh, my word is good.” I winced slightly at her nickname for me. I’d hated it since the first time it had passed her lips but hadn’t said anything. After all, she was my girlfriend then. What was I to do about it?
“Alright, Ally,” I began, “first of all, don’t call me ‘Frankie-pooh.’ Secondly, what’s gotten into you? You can’t kill someone; you’re afraid of blood. Besides, you wouldn’t lay a hand on me. You know I’m stronger than you.” She smirked slightly at that. Holy shit: she’s gone mental!
“Luckily, I won’t have to lay a hand on you, Frankie-pooh,” she said, emphasizing my “nickname” while she dug around in her purse for a moment. When her hand finally came back into view, it held a small handgun. Now, this particular gun was good for only one thing: killing at a close range. I gulped slightly.
“Ally,” I began shakily as she began loading bullets into the gun, “don’t do anything stupid.” I held my hands up defensively and began backing away from her.
“What’s wrong, honey? You scared? It’s okay; it’ll only hurt for a second.” Fuck, she’s completely mental! She pointed the gun at me and stepped through the open door toward me. Shit, shit, SHIT! Where’s Gerard when you need him? I looked around frantically for something—anything to get Ally away from me.
She closed the door, locking it and beginning to speak again: “You know, I was minding my own business watching MTV today when Gerard walked out onto the stage and began telling the word all about his little… relationship with my current boyfriend. I was shocked and obviously more than a bit hostile toward him, but it wasn’t until I hear the voice belonging to my true love that I got, shall we say, a little crazy. Think of it this way, babe: when Gerard gets home and sees his precious Frankie on the floor with a bullet through his head, he’ll know how very wrong he was to go against me and talk to you.” My back was against the wall now and she was barely an arms-length away from me, the gun pointed directly between my eyes. She smirked again, cocking the gun in my face. “Bye, love,” she said in a finalizing voice. I closed my eyes, not really wanting to see the bullet racing the inch between the barrel and me. Just then the sound of a door being unlocked met our ears. It was a normal sound, so out of place in the current situation I was in. It opened, showing Gerard. My eyes widened.
“Gerard…” I whispered. It took a moment, but when the situation hit him his eyes widened in turn. Ally turned around to face him. She smirked, still holding the gun in my face.
“Gerard,” she said, smiling innocently, “you’re just in time for the show.”
Frank’s POV
Gerard stopped kissing me and stood from the bed, pulling on his jeans and shirt. I looked at him curiously, wondering what he could be doing.
“Frank, I’m going to go take care of something and then we can pick this up again,” he said, looking me straight in the eye.
“Okay… How long will it take?” I asked anxiously.
“I don’t know,” he replied. “It all depends on if I can find someone.” I wondered what he meant by that.
“Okay,” I said again. Suddenly, I remembered Ally’s words and began to get worried. “But be careful.”
“I will,” he said positively. “Nothing’s going to happen to me,” he said, kissing me again before walking out of the room. I supposed his words should have made me feel better, but I still felt my stomach twist up in a knot, warning me something was probably going to happen and that it was not going to be good. Going with my gut, I stepped out of the room. Gerard hadn’t even started down the stairs yet.
“Gerard!” I called. He stopped and turned around.
“Yeah?”
“Please… call me if anything happens, okay?” I asked worriedly.
“Okay, Frank,” he said, pausing for a moment. “Why are you so worried?” he asked suddenly, looking at me with slight fear in his eyes.
“Oh, nothing. I just want you to be safe,” I said in what was supposed to be a casual, relaxed voice.
“Okay, Frank. I’ll be back as soon as I can,” he said reassuringly. I went back into my room, pulling on my shirt and jeans. ‘Nothing’s going to happen,’ I told myself. ‘Gerard will be fine.’ I plopped on the couch and made myself comfortable for a long run of channel surfing while I waited for Gerard to come back.
__________
After what felt like days, my phone rang. I jumped up and ran into the kitchen, grabbing it frantically off the counter.
“Gerard, are you okay?” I asked immediately, putting the phone up to my ear.
“Yes, Frank, I’m okay. Now turn on your TV to TRL, okay?” It confused me that he wanted me to watch TRL.
“Okay… why?”
“Oh, you’ll see…” he answered, trailing off. “Hey, I got to go but watch it, please. I’ll call you later. Bye.” He hung up before I could say anything. I practically growled at him. ‘Don’t hang up on me, little mister,’ I thought, deciding I’d have to give him that lecture when he got back. I returned to the family room and flipped over to MTV.
“Ladies and gentlemen, Gerard Way,” Damian announced, motioning to where Gerard was beginning to walk onto stage with a nervous grin plastered on his face.
“Gerard had just stopped by and he wanted to tell us something about the band,” Damian said to the camera and the audience, glancing at Gerard. Gerard nodded, blushing that tiny bit that you can’t see unless you know him well.
“Hey guys and girls,” he started, “um… I have had this on my chest for a while and I’m finally ready to do this for the one I love.” My heart skipped a beat and my stomach lurched. “It has to be done…” he said, trailing off before starting up again. “Okay, if you all remember a few moths ago Frank and me were caught on tape making out on stage, then again off stage, though that wasn’t really us. I wanted to clear things up. At that time Frank and I were going out.” There were scattered gasps. Half the guys looked like they wanted to puke while most of the girls wore disappointed frowns.
While Gerard began talking again, I grabbed the phone and dialed the operator, telling them to feed me though to TRL immediately. I watched the TV as Gerard spoke, the phone ringing in my ear.
“I am bi and so is Frank, but we broke up because I was afraid to let everyone know how I felt. But I want to make Frank proud and show him I could do this and that I meant it when I made that deal,” he stopped, looking about the stage, waiting for someone to let him know this was okay. After a moment or two, Damian broke the silence.
“Wow!” he said, over-enthusiastically. At the same time an MTV worker picked up the phone. I told her I needed to get on TRL straight away. She said she’d have to ask.
“Gerard, that must have taken a lot of courage to come on TV and tell everyone something like that,” Damian continued.
“Yeah,” Gee said slowly, “but now I don’t have to act like nothing was wrong.”
“So, are you and Frank going to go out now?” Damian asked, grinning childishly at Gerard.
“I don’t know; maybe, maybe not. We’ll find out later.” The girl came back to the phone and asked me whom I was.
“I’m Frank goddamn Iero! Now put me through!” I shouted into the phone. I could hear the blush in her voice as she mumbled a subtle “sorry” and fed the call through to TRL.
“Oh,” Damian said, surprised. “We have a caller. …Go ahead, caller.”
“Gerard…” I began, “I’m so proud of you and when you get back we’ll celebrate. And yes, Gerard, we will go out,” I said, grinning into the phone as Gerard listened, his expression happy beyond words. The audience awed in unison. “Now baby, come home to me,” I said, watching as Gerard smiled.
“Well, I guess I have to go,” Gerard said, smirking. I smirked, too, seeing his expression. He knew what was going to happen as soon as he walked through that door. My grin broadened.
“Kay, bye, Gerard. Thanks again for dropping by,” Damian said, just before Gerard practically sprinted off stage. I actually laughed at that. I hung up and dialed Gerard’s number.
“Hey,” Gerard said nonchalantly.
“Babe, I can’t believe you did that on TV,” I said, still amazed.
“Well, I had to.”
“I’m so fucking proud of you,” I said happily.
“Thanks,” he said. “I can’t believe you called them!”
“Well, I wanted everyone to know what we were,” I said, smiling into the phone.
“Okay. I’ll be back in a few hours so I’ll call you when I’m in town,” Gerard said.
“Okay. Bye, babe,” I said and hung up. I sat on the couch grinning for a while. This must be the best day ever in the history of humanity. TRL was hours away; no wonder it took him so long to call. ‘Nothing can ruin this day. Absolutely nothing,’ I thought, stretching out on the couch and closing my eyes.
_______________
The phone began ringing, far too loud and high-pitched for my liking. I groaned, rolling over and putting a pillow over my head to dim the headache-inducing sound. After what felt like hours the answering machine finally picked up. Gerard’s voice immediately followed:
“Hey, babe. Just wanted to let you know I’m back in the city limits. I should be home in a couple minutes, so be sure to be there when I get back. I love you, see you in a bit.”
I smiled at the message, suddenly wide-awake. With the knowledge Gerard would be home soon I relaxed, turning on the radio. Some song I didn’t know the words to came on, shaking the floor. I shrugged, liking the guitar in it and deciding to rock out via air-guitar.
Bang, bang, bang. It sounded like someone was trying to hammer through the door. For a moment I thought I would be able to ignore whoever was at the door and began to fake-strum again. But the incessant pounding told me otherwise. Sighing, I crossed over to the door, unlocking and opening it. Ally stood in the doorway, cheeks flushed with rage and eyes glaring daggers.
“You didn’t think I was kidding, did you?” she asked, voice shaking with rage over the music.
“What are you talking about, Ally?” I said evenly. She wouldn’t intimidate me, especially if she was unarmed. It was obvious that I was stronger than her and could easily get her away from me if she tried anything.
“I’m talking about what I told you over the phone,” she replied, voice just as even. “I told you—no, I promised you that if I found out the slut you were cheating on me with was Gerard, I’d kill the both of you. Did you think I was lying? Trust me Frankie-pooh, my word is good.” I winced slightly at her nickname for me. I’d hated it since the first time it had passed her lips but hadn’t said anything. After all, she was my girlfriend then. What was I to do about it?
“Alright, Ally,” I began, “first of all, don’t call me ‘Frankie-pooh.’ Secondly, what’s gotten into you? You can’t kill someone; you’re afraid of blood. Besides, you wouldn’t lay a hand on me. You know I’m stronger than you.” She smirked slightly at that. Holy shit: she’s gone mental!
“Luckily, I won’t have to lay a hand on you, Frankie-pooh,” she said, emphasizing my “nickname” while she dug around in her purse for a moment. When her hand finally came back into view, it held a small handgun. Now, this particular gun was good for only one thing: killing at a close range. I gulped slightly.
“Ally,” I began shakily as she began loading bullets into the gun, “don’t do anything stupid.” I held my hands up defensively and began backing away from her.
“What’s wrong, honey? You scared? It’s okay; it’ll only hurt for a second.” Fuck, she’s completely mental! She pointed the gun at me and stepped through the open door toward me. Shit, shit, SHIT! Where’s Gerard when you need him? I looked around frantically for something—anything to get Ally away from me.
She closed the door, locking it and beginning to speak again: “You know, I was minding my own business watching MTV today when Gerard walked out onto the stage and began telling the word all about his little… relationship with my current boyfriend. I was shocked and obviously more than a bit hostile toward him, but it wasn’t until I hear the voice belonging to my true love that I got, shall we say, a little crazy. Think of it this way, babe: when Gerard gets home and sees his precious Frankie on the floor with a bullet through his head, he’ll know how very wrong he was to go against me and talk to you.” My back was against the wall now and she was barely an arms-length away from me, the gun pointed directly between my eyes. She smirked again, cocking the gun in my face. “Bye, love,” she said in a finalizing voice. I closed my eyes, not really wanting to see the bullet racing the inch between the barrel and me. Just then the sound of a door being unlocked met our ears. It was a normal sound, so out of place in the current situation I was in. It opened, showing Gerard. My eyes widened.
“Gerard…” I whispered. It took a moment, but when the situation hit him his eyes widened in turn. Ally turned around to face him. She smirked, still holding the gun in my face.
“Gerard,” she said, smiling innocently, “you’re just in time for the show.”