I'm Not Okay Without You
The Truth Isnt Always The Best
Chapter 38
Frank’s POV
After a few minutes of rocking back and forth I figured out that it wasn’t going to help anything if I just sat here shaking. Jumping off the bed, I ran down the steps and into the kitchen to find the phone. It wasn’t on the base. I ran back into the living room and tore the couch apart looking for it, but it wasn’t there either. Breathing heavily, I ran back up the steps and searched the guest bedroom, bathroom, and hall before running back into the room Gee was in. Upon entering, I noticed Gerard was sitting up in bed. I froze for a moment, staring at him, but then came back to my senses and tackled him, clinging to him.
“I thought I was losing you,” I whispered, fear obvious in my voice.
“What happened?” Gerard asked, confused.
“You blacked out, I guess, since you’re up now, but you stopped moving and responding. I started freaking out and I ran to get the phone to call for help.”
“So I wasn’t out long?”
“No, like, a couple of minutes,” I responded.
“Frank… something’s wrong.” My heart froze.
“W-what?” I breathed.
“I’ve been getting this pain in my chest lately and it hurts so bad… I can’t handle it.”
“What do you mean?” I whispered, fear twisting my stomach into a painful knot.
“Well, you know when I was screaming in the hospital?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s ‘cause I felt this sharp pain in my chest and I couldn’t handle it. I thought it was just what I would feel for a few days.” I thought on that for a moment, then something clicked in my head.
“Gerard, lift up your shirt.” He did so, revealing a nice black mark where he had been shot.
“Gerard, we have to get you to the hospital,” I whispered, staring at the wound. “It’s not supposed to be like that.” I got up and went to the bathroom, grabbing a washcloth off the sink and rinsing it. Then I came back and gently cleaned it up a bit.
“SHIT!” Gerard screamed. My hand pulled away from the would reflexively.
“Okay, that’s it, we’re going right now,” I said, helping Gerard stand. I helped him to the car and got in the driver’s seat, driving just a tad over the speed limit to the hospital. When we got there the nurse told us we would have to wait in the waiting room for the doctor.
“Are you fucking kidding me?!” I screamed incredulously. “Look at this!” I pulled Gee’s shirt up, revealing whatever the hell was wrong with his chest. She gasped and stepped back, muttering something about ‘sorry’ and ‘you could’ve shown me that earlier’ as she led us to a hospital room. Gerard hopped up on the bed and I paced the floor nervously, dragging my hand through my hair.
“Where the hell is that fucking doctor?” I muttered after about five minutes. As if on cue, Dr. Olsen walked into the room.
“Ah, Gerard, what seems to be the problem?” he asked as if he were talking to a small child.
“Well, uh,” Gerard began, but I cut him off.
“What’s the problem? This is the fucking problem!” I screamed at Dr. Olsen, lifting up Gee’s shirt again.
“I see,” the doctor said, inspecting the wound. “Wait here for a moment, please.”
“No fucking way—” I began to protest, but he was already out of the room. I growled and raked my fingers through my hair again. After what felt like centuries a nurse came into the room.
“Mr. Way, we have to get you into surgery as soon as possible,” she said.
“What the hell is wrong,” Gerard snapped, fear and anxiety finally beginning to show.
“The wound from your gun shot has been infected. It’s actually been infected since you got shot,” said Dr. Olsen
“Why the hell didn’t you take fucking care of it sooner, then?” I asked furiously, biting the inside of my cheek to keep my voice level.
“We thought his body would fight off the infection,” he replied, shrugging slightly.
“If he dies you’re going to die, asshole,” I yelled, tasting a little bit of blood from biting my cheek too hard.
“Frank, calm down,” Gerard said softly. “Okay, so what do you plan on doing?” he asked, turning to the doctor.
“We have to open the wound again and scrape all the infected cells out. We might have to take some skin, too. We don’t know how far it has spread yet,” he said easily, as if he didn’t just receive a death threat. Fucking cocky shit.
“Okay, then can we please hurry up?” Gerard asked, fear apparent in his eyes.
“Yes, we are going to prep now and we’ll be back soon,” Dr. Olsen said, stepping out of the room. When he shut the door Gerard took my hand in his.
“Frank, if something happens to me you have to move on, okay?” he asked softly, slight fear in his eyes. “And I’ll need you to keep an eye out for Mikey. He screws up sometimes,” he added.
“Yeah, like the heater in the bathtub,” I said, nodding.
“Yeah,” Gerard agreed, laughing slightly. “Or the fork in the toaster.”
“He’s such a little kid,” I acknowledged, smiling. “Okay, Gerard, I’ll do that for you.” I paused for a second, then added, “But you are going to come back to me. I know you, Gerard. You’ll stay for everyone that loves you. It would be so different if you weren’t here.”
“I’ll try,” Gerard whispered, looking down a little. Just then Dr. Olsen came back into the room.
“Are you ready?” he asked.
“Yes,” Gee said, then looked back at me. “I love you so much,” he whispered, squeezing my hand lightly.
“I love you, too,” I said, capturing his lips in a soft kiss. Dr. Olsen cleared his throat uncomfortably.
“Alright, we should get you into surgery, Mr. Way.” We broke apart and Gee nodded, following the doctor out of the room. As soon as they left I collapsed into a chair, digging the heels of my hands into my eyes.
“Gerard,” I whispered, as if he were still in the room, “come back to me.”
Frank’s POV
After a few minutes of rocking back and forth I figured out that it wasn’t going to help anything if I just sat here shaking. Jumping off the bed, I ran down the steps and into the kitchen to find the phone. It wasn’t on the base. I ran back into the living room and tore the couch apart looking for it, but it wasn’t there either. Breathing heavily, I ran back up the steps and searched the guest bedroom, bathroom, and hall before running back into the room Gee was in. Upon entering, I noticed Gerard was sitting up in bed. I froze for a moment, staring at him, but then came back to my senses and tackled him, clinging to him.
“I thought I was losing you,” I whispered, fear obvious in my voice.
“What happened?” Gerard asked, confused.
“You blacked out, I guess, since you’re up now, but you stopped moving and responding. I started freaking out and I ran to get the phone to call for help.”
“So I wasn’t out long?”
“No, like, a couple of minutes,” I responded.
“Frank… something’s wrong.” My heart froze.
“W-what?” I breathed.
“I’ve been getting this pain in my chest lately and it hurts so bad… I can’t handle it.”
“What do you mean?” I whispered, fear twisting my stomach into a painful knot.
“Well, you know when I was screaming in the hospital?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s ‘cause I felt this sharp pain in my chest and I couldn’t handle it. I thought it was just what I would feel for a few days.” I thought on that for a moment, then something clicked in my head.
“Gerard, lift up your shirt.” He did so, revealing a nice black mark where he had been shot.
“Gerard, we have to get you to the hospital,” I whispered, staring at the wound. “It’s not supposed to be like that.” I got up and went to the bathroom, grabbing a washcloth off the sink and rinsing it. Then I came back and gently cleaned it up a bit.
“SHIT!” Gerard screamed. My hand pulled away from the would reflexively.
“Okay, that’s it, we’re going right now,” I said, helping Gerard stand. I helped him to the car and got in the driver’s seat, driving just a tad over the speed limit to the hospital. When we got there the nurse told us we would have to wait in the waiting room for the doctor.
“Are you fucking kidding me?!” I screamed incredulously. “Look at this!” I pulled Gee’s shirt up, revealing whatever the hell was wrong with his chest. She gasped and stepped back, muttering something about ‘sorry’ and ‘you could’ve shown me that earlier’ as she led us to a hospital room. Gerard hopped up on the bed and I paced the floor nervously, dragging my hand through my hair.
“Where the hell is that fucking doctor?” I muttered after about five minutes. As if on cue, Dr. Olsen walked into the room.
“Ah, Gerard, what seems to be the problem?” he asked as if he were talking to a small child.
“Well, uh,” Gerard began, but I cut him off.
“What’s the problem? This is the fucking problem!” I screamed at Dr. Olsen, lifting up Gee’s shirt again.
“I see,” the doctor said, inspecting the wound. “Wait here for a moment, please.”
“No fucking way—” I began to protest, but he was already out of the room. I growled and raked my fingers through my hair again. After what felt like centuries a nurse came into the room.
“Mr. Way, we have to get you into surgery as soon as possible,” she said.
“What the hell is wrong,” Gerard snapped, fear and anxiety finally beginning to show.
“The wound from your gun shot has been infected. It’s actually been infected since you got shot,” said Dr. Olsen
“Why the hell didn’t you take fucking care of it sooner, then?” I asked furiously, biting the inside of my cheek to keep my voice level.
“We thought his body would fight off the infection,” he replied, shrugging slightly.
“If he dies you’re going to die, asshole,” I yelled, tasting a little bit of blood from biting my cheek too hard.
“Frank, calm down,” Gerard said softly. “Okay, so what do you plan on doing?” he asked, turning to the doctor.
“We have to open the wound again and scrape all the infected cells out. We might have to take some skin, too. We don’t know how far it has spread yet,” he said easily, as if he didn’t just receive a death threat. Fucking cocky shit.
“Okay, then can we please hurry up?” Gerard asked, fear apparent in his eyes.
“Yes, we are going to prep now and we’ll be back soon,” Dr. Olsen said, stepping out of the room. When he shut the door Gerard took my hand in his.
“Frank, if something happens to me you have to move on, okay?” he asked softly, slight fear in his eyes. “And I’ll need you to keep an eye out for Mikey. He screws up sometimes,” he added.
“Yeah, like the heater in the bathtub,” I said, nodding.
“Yeah,” Gerard agreed, laughing slightly. “Or the fork in the toaster.”
“He’s such a little kid,” I acknowledged, smiling. “Okay, Gerard, I’ll do that for you.” I paused for a second, then added, “But you are going to come back to me. I know you, Gerard. You’ll stay for everyone that loves you. It would be so different if you weren’t here.”
“I’ll try,” Gerard whispered, looking down a little. Just then Dr. Olsen came back into the room.
“Are you ready?” he asked.
“Yes,” Gee said, then looked back at me. “I love you so much,” he whispered, squeezing my hand lightly.
“I love you, too,” I said, capturing his lips in a soft kiss. Dr. Olsen cleared his throat uncomfortably.
“Alright, we should get you into surgery, Mr. Way.” We broke apart and Gee nodded, following the doctor out of the room. As soon as they left I collapsed into a chair, digging the heels of my hands into my eyes.
“Gerard,” I whispered, as if he were still in the room, “come back to me.”