I'm Not Okay Without You
I Don't Think I Can Do This Anymore
Chapter 41
Frank's POV
Gerard finally got out of the hospital. It seemed like it took years, but he was finally able to go home. I still worried about him, though, so I decided to stay at his house every day. He didn't seem to mind too much...
After a couple weeks we decided to start touring. We were all happy, but Gerard seemed really tense and couldn't relax. He was even tense in his sleep, flinching and waking up every time someone touched him. Honestly, I think he's still scared about Ally and it's worrying me. When we were playing a show in Missouri I was trying to come up with ideas on how to make Gerard feel better so he could quit losing sleep over whatever was bugging him. I was going to talk to him right after the show.
Well, the show ended and I headed out toward the buses to find Gerard. It started innocently enough; the fight that is. I went over to him and touched his shoulder because he wasn't facing me. Instantly, he spun around. His eyes were filled with... anger? Why was he angry? Did I do something?
"You like what Ally did, don't you?!" he screamed accusingly.
"No! Why would I want you to get hurt?" I asked, confused beyond all reason.
"I saw the way you looked at her!" His anger was obviously not going to go away that easily. What was worse, I had no idea what he was talking about.
"When?" I asked incredulously, my voice rising to match his.
"While we were on stage she waved to you and you smiled and went back to playing!"
"I didn't see Ally. I think you're losing you fucking mind!" I screamed back, anger begining to harshen my words.
"I am not," he said like an incompitent child. I opened my mouth for some smart ass retort, but was stopped when I felt the collision of something with the side of my eye. Stumbling backwards, I covered the stinging skin and doubled over in pain. That really fucking hurt!
"What the hell was that for?!" I screamed after a moment of stunned silence, raising my face to look at Gerard. He wasn't in the room, though. Wrenching open the door of the bus, I looked outside and saw Gerard walking away. I wanted to scream after him to quit being a fucktard and come tell me what the hell was going on with him, but I bit my tongue. Hard. The taste of iron came into my mouth almost immediately. Well, at least it took away from the pain of the punch...
Instead of going after Gee I stormed outside, pulling my hood up as I did so to hide my face.
"What are you--" Ray began upon seeing me, but I cut him off.
"Don't fucking ask," I said, hitting his shoulder as I passed him but refusing to look at him. It felt like I was walking in circles for hours, and when I finally stopped I found myself at the back of the stadium kicking and punching the wall.
"God fucking damn it, what the hell happened?!" I screamed at the brick, my fist colliding with it again. I was standing by Rise Against tour bus, but I think they figured out not to come outside. I turned around and leant heavily on the wall,forcing the air out of my lungs. Then there was an odd scratching on my back and I found myself sitting on the pavement. After a few minutes of sitting pathetically with my knees to my chest and my head in my arms, I stood up and began walking again.
"Frank!" I heard someone scream. My ears were ringing from the concert and the fight, so I could hardly make out the voice. When I turned around, though, I saw that it was Gerard. My good eye widened considerably and I took a step back as he stopped running toward me, just staring at me. He opened his mouth to say something, but I beat him to the punch.
"Gerard..."
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"I don't think I can do this anymore."
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His mouth hung open and his eyes widened.
"W... what?"
"I..." I began, but couldn't seem to finish the sentence. There was a horrible churning in my stomach.
"Frank... please..." he began, his eyelashes beginning to stick together from the tears forming in his eyes. I crosses my left hand over my chest so I was holding my right arm and dug my fingernails in, looking toward the gound.
"I'm so sorry, Frankie. So, so sorry. But please... don't..." he begged, closing the distance between us a pulling me into a hug. I felt tears I didn't even know were there slide onto his shoulder. Within seconds I found myself hugging back, desperately gripping at him.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he repeated. "I promise I'll get better. I won't be so paranoid anymore. I'll protect you, I promise. Just please... give me another chance. I don't think... I don't think I'd be able to live if you left. Please..." This announcement made me cry harder.
"No, Gerard, I'm sorry. I... I didn't mean it," I managed though my new fit of sobs. I felt him nod.
"I love you, Frankie," he whispered, tightening the hug.
"I love you, too."
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OKies I found out that My co-writer Wont be coming back. She gave me the ok to get another co-writer since she wont be back on. If anyone wants to be the new co-writer just send me a pm and all you have to do is update in franks pov from what has happened already, i will be updating franks pov very soon. But everyone has until the 28th and on the 29th or 30th i will announce the new co-writer.
Good luck
(thanks to those of you who do help me out.)
Frank's POV
Gerard finally got out of the hospital. It seemed like it took years, but he was finally able to go home. I still worried about him, though, so I decided to stay at his house every day. He didn't seem to mind too much...
After a couple weeks we decided to start touring. We were all happy, but Gerard seemed really tense and couldn't relax. He was even tense in his sleep, flinching and waking up every time someone touched him. Honestly, I think he's still scared about Ally and it's worrying me. When we were playing a show in Missouri I was trying to come up with ideas on how to make Gerard feel better so he could quit losing sleep over whatever was bugging him. I was going to talk to him right after the show.
Well, the show ended and I headed out toward the buses to find Gerard. It started innocently enough; the fight that is. I went over to him and touched his shoulder because he wasn't facing me. Instantly, he spun around. His eyes were filled with... anger? Why was he angry? Did I do something?
"You like what Ally did, don't you?!" he screamed accusingly.
"No! Why would I want you to get hurt?" I asked, confused beyond all reason.
"I saw the way you looked at her!" His anger was obviously not going to go away that easily. What was worse, I had no idea what he was talking about.
"When?" I asked incredulously, my voice rising to match his.
"While we were on stage she waved to you and you smiled and went back to playing!"
"I didn't see Ally. I think you're losing you fucking mind!" I screamed back, anger begining to harshen my words.
"I am not," he said like an incompitent child. I opened my mouth for some smart ass retort, but was stopped when I felt the collision of something with the side of my eye. Stumbling backwards, I covered the stinging skin and doubled over in pain. That really fucking hurt!
"What the hell was that for?!" I screamed after a moment of stunned silence, raising my face to look at Gerard. He wasn't in the room, though. Wrenching open the door of the bus, I looked outside and saw Gerard walking away. I wanted to scream after him to quit being a fucktard and come tell me what the hell was going on with him, but I bit my tongue. Hard. The taste of iron came into my mouth almost immediately. Well, at least it took away from the pain of the punch...
Instead of going after Gee I stormed outside, pulling my hood up as I did so to hide my face.
"What are you--" Ray began upon seeing me, but I cut him off.
"Don't fucking ask," I said, hitting his shoulder as I passed him but refusing to look at him. It felt like I was walking in circles for hours, and when I finally stopped I found myself at the back of the stadium kicking and punching the wall.
"God fucking damn it, what the hell happened?!" I screamed at the brick, my fist colliding with it again. I was standing by Rise Against tour bus, but I think they figured out not to come outside. I turned around and leant heavily on the wall,forcing the air out of my lungs. Then there was an odd scratching on my back and I found myself sitting on the pavement. After a few minutes of sitting pathetically with my knees to my chest and my head in my arms, I stood up and began walking again.
"Frank!" I heard someone scream. My ears were ringing from the concert and the fight, so I could hardly make out the voice. When I turned around, though, I saw that it was Gerard. My good eye widened considerably and I took a step back as he stopped running toward me, just staring at me. He opened his mouth to say something, but I beat him to the punch.
"Gerard..."
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"I don't think I can do this anymore."
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His mouth hung open and his eyes widened.
"W... what?"
"I..." I began, but couldn't seem to finish the sentence. There was a horrible churning in my stomach.
"Frank... please..." he began, his eyelashes beginning to stick together from the tears forming in his eyes. I crosses my left hand over my chest so I was holding my right arm and dug my fingernails in, looking toward the gound.
"I'm so sorry, Frankie. So, so sorry. But please... don't..." he begged, closing the distance between us a pulling me into a hug. I felt tears I didn't even know were there slide onto his shoulder. Within seconds I found myself hugging back, desperately gripping at him.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he repeated. "I promise I'll get better. I won't be so paranoid anymore. I'll protect you, I promise. Just please... give me another chance. I don't think... I don't think I'd be able to live if you left. Please..." This announcement made me cry harder.
"No, Gerard, I'm sorry. I... I didn't mean it," I managed though my new fit of sobs. I felt him nod.
"I love you, Frankie," he whispered, tightening the hug.
"I love you, too."
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OKies I found out that My co-writer Wont be coming back. She gave me the ok to get another co-writer since she wont be back on. If anyone wants to be the new co-writer just send me a pm and all you have to do is update in franks pov from what has happened already, i will be updating franks pov very soon. But everyone has until the 28th and on the 29th or 30th i will announce the new co-writer.
Good luck
(thanks to those of you who do help me out.)