I'm Not Okay Without You
Needing Privacy To Talk
Chapter 42
Gerard’s POV
“Gerard….. I don’t think I can do this anymore.” No... he can’t be saying that... we're over. I... I can’t lose him.
“W….what?”
“I…” no he’s gonna say he doesn’t love me cause I’m too paranoid.
“Frank... Please…” I was starting to cry. I guess I do deserve this for being the way I am. Frank looked like he wasn’t proud of what he was doing. This was my chance to tell him.
“I’m so sorry Frankie. So so sorry. But please…Don’t,” I grabbed him and hugged him. I let my tears go. He didn’t move he was stiff then finally I felt him grab on to be and hold on to me.
“I’m sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I promise I’ll get better. I won’t be so paranoid anymore. I’ll protect you, I promise just please...give me another chance. I don’t think...I don’t think I’d be able to live if you left me. Please...” I didn’t want to let go of him if I let go I might lose him forever.
“No Gerard, I’m sorry I... I didn’t mean it.” He was crying. I nodded into his hair, needing to comfort him.
“I love you, Frankie,” I whispered in his ear, trying to get a better grip on him.
“I love you, too” he said. We stood there for a while just holding each other. Reluctantly, I let go of him and grabbed his face in between my hands, staring at his now-flawed features. A pang of guilt hit my gut as I remembered that I was the one who did that to him. I kissed his eye as softly as possible and then I kissed his lips gently. After I pulled away he grabbed my hand and stared at me, seeming to be studying me.
“Frankie, I have to tell you something”
“What?” His voice was slightly high from what I assume was fear, but he kept his beautiful eyes on me.
"I'm paranoid cause I think that Ally’s going to kill me and you're going to go back to her,” I said, my words running together from the need to get them out in the open.
“Gee, I love you. I always have, ever since we started touring. Yeah, I didn’t know my true feelings but I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember and I’m going to continue loving you forever. You complete me,” he murmured, touching my cheek and pressing his lips to mine. Slowly, I pushed him against the wall of the building and I started moving my hands from his face down to his body. I pulled away for a second so we could breathe and in that second I said something.
“Frankie I love you too and you complete me too” With that he kissed me again. The make out session lasted until Bob walked by. I guess he didn’t know it was us.
“Eww, Mikey those too have to be drunk. They don’t even realize there by tour buses and people can see.”
“Bob, I think that’s Gee and Frank,” my brother replied, giggling slightly.
“Oh. My god. Why don’t you two get a room?” At that we pulled apart. I turned and looked at them.
“Thanks guys we were having a serious discussion” I said loud enough so they could hear me.
“Oh yeah? And what was that? Frank fuck me oh please I need you fuck me fuck me,” Bob replied really loudly, making it so I was sure anyone outside could hear him.
“No! We were talking about why Gerard and I were fighting! And I ended up getting a black eye. On top of that we almost broke up! We were confessing how we felt about each other and we just got to the kissing part!” Frank yelled in a slightly whiny voice, stomping his foot like a small child.
“Wow chill Frank, why don’t you to go get a room and you can finish this” Mikey replied in a calm, almost condescending voice.
“I think we will,” I answered, grabbing Frank's hand. Having the same idea, we took off running to the bus. Since we beat Mikey and Bob there, we locked the door. Then we saw Ray was sitting watching TV.
“Help us shake the bus,” I told him.
“Um… why?” Ray asked carefully, staring at me like I was crazy.
“Just do it,” I commanded. He got up and helped us shake the bus. Then Frank started moaning and screaming making it seem like we were having sex.
“EWW! Guys we need to sleep in there we meant get a hotel room!” Mikey whined. We stopped and unlocked the door and they walked in. Ray, Frank, and I all burst out laughing. After a little bit of making Bob and Mikey feel like idiots, Frank and I left in search of a hotel room. We wanted to be alone and talk about the things on our minds. As we walked around with our hoods and hats on I held on to Frank like I would lose him if I let go. Our hands were intertwined and he was so close I could feel his breath.
“Frankie?” I said trying to make conversation
“Yeah Gee?”
“Can we get out of our town?”
“What?” he asked, obviously confused.
“When we go back to Jersey can we just pack up and leave?” I don't know why, but the thought of spending more time in NJ than I had to wasn't very appealing.
“But, Gerard... why? I mean, we haven't seen Ally at all. I think she has finally given up,” Frank said looking at me with a worried expression.
“Well I’m going to move out of my house and find a different place to stay.” If Frank didn’t want to move out of town then I would stay somewhere that Ally couldn't find me. Besides, I knew that Frankie wouldn't just let me leave.
“Fine, I’ll move with you…Since my house is sort of... gone.”
“Okay," I answered, smiling slightly at how absurd that had sounded. By now we had finally found a hotel. The girl looked up at me and then looked at Frank.
"I'd like a room, please," I infomed her, as if she couldn't figure that out.
“Yes sir, would that be two beds?” she asked, smiling.
“No, we can share just a bed.”
“Okay," she replied, typing something in the computer. “How do you plan on paying?”
“Credit”
“Ok, do you want a suite?”
“No! All we want is a fucking room! We just need to have a conversation in private!”
“Gee...” Frank mumbled, nudging me in the side.
“Sorry, but how hard is it to get one room?”
“I’m sorry sir there just standard questions.” She said eyes wide in slight fear.
“Frankie, can you just deal with it?” I asked
“Sure.” He stated and started talking to the girl. I was just getting pissed cause I bet anything that she was just sending a message to her friends saying that Gerard Way and Frank Iero were in the hotel getting a room. I sighed, running my hand through my hair impatiently as Frank talked to the girl.
“GERARD!!!” Shit here it is. I slowly turned around and saw...
“SEIDEE!!!” I yelled, letting go of Frank's hand just in time to hug her back.
“God how have you been? I heard you were in the hospital for surgery!” she said
“Yeah, Ally shot me and when I got it taken out I had an infection that the doctors thought would just go away but it didn’t so I had to get surgery to get the dead tissues taken away.”
“Wow! You’re okay, though, right?”
“Yeah definitely better. Well... somewhat better. I’m paranoid but that’s it really.”
“Oh! So where’s everyone else?”
“On the bus. I need to talk to Frank so we're getting a room.”
“Cool, hope that goes well,” she said, grinning and winking.
“God Seidee can’t you ever think happy thoughts?”
“Hey that is a happy thought in my head. It's a happy thought in my pants, too.”
“Seidee!!!” I whined. "Stop, really!" I added, covering my face.
“Okay okay,” she answered, laughing.
“Thanks. So why are you here?”
“I’m visiting some family members.”
“Oh that’s cool”
“Yeah. Well I have to go meet them.”
“Okay well I’ll talk to ya later then.”
“Okay, and you better call me, bitch!” she said laughing.
“I will. Call me when you get back into town or whatever!”
“Okay bye” she said and kissed me on the cheek and ran off. I turned back to Frank and slipped my hand in his hand.
“We can go to the room now,” he said. I glanced at his face and saw that though he'd kept the bite out of his voice, he was clearly glaring at the counter-top. I know I left him but it wasn’t for that long. Could he be mad about that? He just finished talking to this chick. I should be the one who’s pissed. Whatever, when we get in the room we can talk about it.
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OKies I found out that My co-writer Wont be coming back. She gave me the ok to get another co-writer since she wont be back on. If anyone wants to be the new co-writer just send me a pm and all you have to do is update in franks pov from what has happened already, i will be updating franks pov very soon. But everyone has until the 17th and on the 18th or 19th i will announce the new co-writer.
Good luck
(thanks to those of you who do help me out.)
Gerard’s POV
“Gerard….. I don’t think I can do this anymore.” No... he can’t be saying that... we're over. I... I can’t lose him.
“W….what?”
“I…” no he’s gonna say he doesn’t love me cause I’m too paranoid.
“Frank... Please…” I was starting to cry. I guess I do deserve this for being the way I am. Frank looked like he wasn’t proud of what he was doing. This was my chance to tell him.
“I’m so sorry Frankie. So so sorry. But please…Don’t,” I grabbed him and hugged him. I let my tears go. He didn’t move he was stiff then finally I felt him grab on to be and hold on to me.
“I’m sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I promise I’ll get better. I won’t be so paranoid anymore. I’ll protect you, I promise just please...give me another chance. I don’t think...I don’t think I’d be able to live if you left me. Please...” I didn’t want to let go of him if I let go I might lose him forever.
“No Gerard, I’m sorry I... I didn’t mean it.” He was crying. I nodded into his hair, needing to comfort him.
“I love you, Frankie,” I whispered in his ear, trying to get a better grip on him.
“I love you, too” he said. We stood there for a while just holding each other. Reluctantly, I let go of him and grabbed his face in between my hands, staring at his now-flawed features. A pang of guilt hit my gut as I remembered that I was the one who did that to him. I kissed his eye as softly as possible and then I kissed his lips gently. After I pulled away he grabbed my hand and stared at me, seeming to be studying me.
“Frankie, I have to tell you something”
“What?” His voice was slightly high from what I assume was fear, but he kept his beautiful eyes on me.
"I'm paranoid cause I think that Ally’s going to kill me and you're going to go back to her,” I said, my words running together from the need to get them out in the open.
“Gee, I love you. I always have, ever since we started touring. Yeah, I didn’t know my true feelings but I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember and I’m going to continue loving you forever. You complete me,” he murmured, touching my cheek and pressing his lips to mine. Slowly, I pushed him against the wall of the building and I started moving my hands from his face down to his body. I pulled away for a second so we could breathe and in that second I said something.
“Frankie I love you too and you complete me too” With that he kissed me again. The make out session lasted until Bob walked by. I guess he didn’t know it was us.
“Eww, Mikey those too have to be drunk. They don’t even realize there by tour buses and people can see.”
“Bob, I think that’s Gee and Frank,” my brother replied, giggling slightly.
“Oh. My god. Why don’t you two get a room?” At that we pulled apart. I turned and looked at them.
“Thanks guys we were having a serious discussion” I said loud enough so they could hear me.
“Oh yeah? And what was that? Frank fuck me oh please I need you fuck me fuck me,” Bob replied really loudly, making it so I was sure anyone outside could hear him.
“No! We were talking about why Gerard and I were fighting! And I ended up getting a black eye. On top of that we almost broke up! We were confessing how we felt about each other and we just got to the kissing part!” Frank yelled in a slightly whiny voice, stomping his foot like a small child.
“Wow chill Frank, why don’t you to go get a room and you can finish this” Mikey replied in a calm, almost condescending voice.
“I think we will,” I answered, grabbing Frank's hand. Having the same idea, we took off running to the bus. Since we beat Mikey and Bob there, we locked the door. Then we saw Ray was sitting watching TV.
“Help us shake the bus,” I told him.
“Um… why?” Ray asked carefully, staring at me like I was crazy.
“Just do it,” I commanded. He got up and helped us shake the bus. Then Frank started moaning and screaming making it seem like we were having sex.
“EWW! Guys we need to sleep in there we meant get a hotel room!” Mikey whined. We stopped and unlocked the door and they walked in. Ray, Frank, and I all burst out laughing. After a little bit of making Bob and Mikey feel like idiots, Frank and I left in search of a hotel room. We wanted to be alone and talk about the things on our minds. As we walked around with our hoods and hats on I held on to Frank like I would lose him if I let go. Our hands were intertwined and he was so close I could feel his breath.
“Frankie?” I said trying to make conversation
“Yeah Gee?”
“Can we get out of our town?”
“What?” he asked, obviously confused.
“When we go back to Jersey can we just pack up and leave?” I don't know why, but the thought of spending more time in NJ than I had to wasn't very appealing.
“But, Gerard... why? I mean, we haven't seen Ally at all. I think she has finally given up,” Frank said looking at me with a worried expression.
“Well I’m going to move out of my house and find a different place to stay.” If Frank didn’t want to move out of town then I would stay somewhere that Ally couldn't find me. Besides, I knew that Frankie wouldn't just let me leave.
“Fine, I’ll move with you…Since my house is sort of... gone.”
“Okay," I answered, smiling slightly at how absurd that had sounded. By now we had finally found a hotel. The girl looked up at me and then looked at Frank.
"I'd like a room, please," I infomed her, as if she couldn't figure that out.
“Yes sir, would that be two beds?” she asked, smiling.
“No, we can share just a bed.”
“Okay," she replied, typing something in the computer. “How do you plan on paying?”
“Credit”
“Ok, do you want a suite?”
“No! All we want is a fucking room! We just need to have a conversation in private!”
“Gee...” Frank mumbled, nudging me in the side.
“Sorry, but how hard is it to get one room?”
“I’m sorry sir there just standard questions.” She said eyes wide in slight fear.
“Frankie, can you just deal with it?” I asked
“Sure.” He stated and started talking to the girl. I was just getting pissed cause I bet anything that she was just sending a message to her friends saying that Gerard Way and Frank Iero were in the hotel getting a room. I sighed, running my hand through my hair impatiently as Frank talked to the girl.
“GERARD!!!” Shit here it is. I slowly turned around and saw...
“SEIDEE!!!” I yelled, letting go of Frank's hand just in time to hug her back.
“God how have you been? I heard you were in the hospital for surgery!” she said
“Yeah, Ally shot me and when I got it taken out I had an infection that the doctors thought would just go away but it didn’t so I had to get surgery to get the dead tissues taken away.”
“Wow! You’re okay, though, right?”
“Yeah definitely better. Well... somewhat better. I’m paranoid but that’s it really.”
“Oh! So where’s everyone else?”
“On the bus. I need to talk to Frank so we're getting a room.”
“Cool, hope that goes well,” she said, grinning and winking.
“God Seidee can’t you ever think happy thoughts?”
“Hey that is a happy thought in my head. It's a happy thought in my pants, too.”
“Seidee!!!” I whined. "Stop, really!" I added, covering my face.
“Okay okay,” she answered, laughing.
“Thanks. So why are you here?”
“I’m visiting some family members.”
“Oh that’s cool”
“Yeah. Well I have to go meet them.”
“Okay well I’ll talk to ya later then.”
“Okay, and you better call me, bitch!” she said laughing.
“I will. Call me when you get back into town or whatever!”
“Okay bye” she said and kissed me on the cheek and ran off. I turned back to Frank and slipped my hand in his hand.
“We can go to the room now,” he said. I glanced at his face and saw that though he'd kept the bite out of his voice, he was clearly glaring at the counter-top. I know I left him but it wasn’t for that long. Could he be mad about that? He just finished talking to this chick. I should be the one who’s pissed. Whatever, when we get in the room we can talk about it.
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OKies I found out that My co-writer Wont be coming back. She gave me the ok to get another co-writer since she wont be back on. If anyone wants to be the new co-writer just send me a pm and all you have to do is update in franks pov from what has happened already, i will be updating franks pov very soon. But everyone has until the 17th and on the 18th or 19th i will announce the new co-writer.
Good luck
(thanks to those of you who do help me out.)