Always There

Maria had gone over just as well with Billie Joe's family as he did with hers. His mother welcomed her into their home with a jovial hug capable of crushing coal into diamonds. His stepfather, siblings and nieces and nephews were all surprisingly good-natured and not in the least as dysfunctional as they would usually be. Maybe it was because Billie Joe called last minute to tell them he would be bringing his girlfriend. And no, not Adrienne because he hadn't seen her in over a year.

They stayed until after midnight, and only after Billie Joe's young nephew insisted he and Maria kiss because they were standing directly under the mistletoe. They came home, shared her bed, but simply went to sleep because she was leaving early in the morning so that she could spend a good portion of Christmas day with her family down in San Diego.

Billie Joe sat on her bed, watching her pack as she claimed she was an 'eventual procrastinator' who worked best under pressure, which was another reason she was so into politics. He loved watching her hair falling into face, her eyes. Those brown eyes he teased her about because of the profession she wanted to get into. He said her eyes were so brown because she was so full of shit. To which she would reply that his eyes were so green because he was so envious of her good looks. He'd simply have to agree and then pounce on her, tackling her to the bed, couch or floor with a berating of kisses.

As soon as Maria was packed and Billie Joe was helping to carry her things to her Pinto, she bit her lip and rocked on the heels of her feet before wrapping her arms around his neck as whispering, "Come with me" in his ear. He pulled back and looked at her, giving her a smile and a nod as he told her to stay right there and not move a muscle.

In all but five minutes, Billie Joe had packed enough to last him two weeks in his small bag, including his guitar. Five minutes later, they were on the road to San Diego to spend the holidays with her family.

* * *

The young couple rang in 1993 by jumping into the pool in Maria's parents' backyard, with her brother, and some old friends, all with their clothes on and holding glasses of champagne that ended up spilling into the water. The pool was heated and slowly they all stripped down to undergarments, except for a high school buddy of Maria's named Gordon who took off everyone and proceeded in skinny dipping.

It was a fun way to welcome the new year. Billie Joe had never been more excited to look forward to a year before. He had this renewed relationship with Maria, all the gigs Green Day was playing in and around the bay area were constantly being sold out or canceled because they were so packed. Their second album, Kerplunk!, was even selling more than Lookout Records could make. It was beginning to look as if the only logical step would be to make that jump to a major label. But, they were still unsure of that. A rule of the punk underground was no major labels. But then again, what about the Ramones and the Sex Pistols? The Clash, even. Punk bands loved by the underground movement, but on major labels. Why couldn't that be Green Day?

Returning home to Berkeley, Maria once again seemed distant. And it only seemed that way on their last day in San Diego after she'd been talking to her mother for a while. Billie Joe had caught a few words, 'cause he'd kinda been eavesdropping as best as he could while carrying a conversation with Catcher about how the younger guy wanted to form a band with three of his friends.

Billie Joe had heard Lynn say something about "He deserves to know before its too late" and "Either way he'll find out, so it's better it came from you." Maria's muffled answers seemed to be out of annoyance and laden with heavy sighs of frustration. It made Billie Joe a little anxious and panicky. The drive home had been a little on the silent side. Maria's mind was obviously reeling with a million and one thoughts all at once. But when they were chatting, she put on this brave face and talked animatedly as if everything was fine, through and through.

That's when she became Maria Full Of Shit. A play on the name of the Virgin Mary; Mary Full Of Grace. As good as she was with getting other people to believe she was fine and that everything would be okay, she couldn't really pull the wool over the eyes of her mother and Billie Joe. They were apparently the only two people in her life she couldn't lie to. They knew her too well.

A week after the new year had come and gone and the couple spent every night holed up in her room, or downstairs in his if Mike and Tre weren't in the room. They made love at least twice a day, chocking it up to being incredibly horny youth. They found new ways of being playful with each other, discovering new things they liked or didn't like, and enjoying the process all the same.

And afterwards, Maria seemed like she would cling to Billie Joe, wrapping her limbs around his, entangling herself with him, as she quietly laid her head on his chest. Up until then, everything had this ambiance to it, as if all her bullshit lines about her being fine were actually true.

But when Billie Joe woke up during the night to hear her crying, he realized he'd been the right one all along. She wasn't okay, and whatever was eating away at her, she wouldn't say.