The Average Ryden/Rydon

OMFG!! This manicure is fucking perfect and it matches everything in my pink castle. I totally need to Twitter this.. Or about my new rug. Or my perfect dick which would look inside of Ryan's tight ass. Mm.. Ryan.. Naked.. Hot.. Sexy.. Ryann..

"King Peter of Hot Gay Guy Island," says my magic mirror, "your love, Ryan, is engaged to Quinn Allman and your rival, Brendon, is gonna try to say he loves him!"

HELL. NO.

*gasp* This is why Brendon sent me to Hot Gay Guy Island!! TO MAKE RYAN HIS!!!

THAT CUNT IS FUCKING DEAD!!

I was looking into the mirror, watching the two in disgust.

"Hey Brenny! Why are you out here?" Ryan asks so nicely. Withthatnicebody.

Okay, ignore that part, you who are below me and my pink Versace cape.

"Oh, I was just wanting to talk to you." Brendon said politely. Politely, like, my omfg perfect ass.

"About what?"

"Us."

He better not--

"Why Brendon? We're friends; what else is there to talk about?"

"Ryan, I love you and your sex."

HAAAA!! LOSSEERR!! YOU FUCKED IT UP FOR GOOD!!!!!! I totally have to Twitter this.

"U-Um.."

"I mean sexy body."

Ryan has this look on his face, then he asks, "Y-You only became my friend to fuck me?"

"What? Ryan, no thats not the reason!"

"Shut the fuck up!! LEAVE ME ALONE!" Ryan shrieks as he runs inside his home crying.

Haha, Ryan is ALL mine for the taking now.. Like, what the hell am I fucking saying? I had an edge over Brendon the moment I met Ryan.

((FLASHBACK))

"OMFG! FATTY IF I HAVE TO SIT THROUGH ANOTHER PERFORMANCE OF UGLY PEOPLE THEN YOU ARE DEAD!" shrieks the totally worn out and yet still perfectly sexy Pete Wentz.

"Pete, calm down." says the totally, omfg sucky Patrick.

"NO! WHERE THE FUCK IS MY PINK BAG! WHERE, FAT ASS?!"

"Its in your hand, dipshit."

Pete looked down to see his beloved pink Gucci bag in his hands. But Patrick had to die first for calling him dipshit.

"Ohh Patriiccckkk!" sings a hot Pete. "DIE!!" he shrieks before whacking off his head with his bag.

That being said and done, Pete skipped over to the next place where a new band with ugly band members would be playing shitty songs for his delicate ears to hear.

He entered a garage, then began to Twitter it as he awaited for the band.

'Lyk, omfg, seeing another band with ugly members.. Where the hell is happyness throughut this? NOWERE!! Ugh, why cant i get wht i want for once?!'

When he got done, there was the band, right in front of him. The bassist was too icky for Pete, the drummer was too similar to Patrick for Pete, the lead singer looked too ugly for Pete.. How the hell is he supposed to sign any of these bands if they don't have at least one hot and sexy band member for Pete to fuck?

Then, out came the sexiest thing Pete had ever seen..

Maybe it was the eyeliner, maybe it was his long, skinny body, or maybe it was those tight jeans that showed off every curve on his legs and ass.

Either way, the moment Pete saw him, he immediately knew he had to fuck him.

"Hello, my name is Ryan Ross." the skinny boy said sweetly.

"Like, omfg, you are sooo totally cute and you will look even cuter next to me in bed!" Pete exclaimed with a clap of his hands.

"Thank you, I like my band too and the music we make. Do you want hear us play one of our songs?"

"Mm.. Sure, like just play it slowly and jump up down..and sweat a lot...so much that we can totally see your nipples." moaned out Pete.

"Alrightie then, c'mon guys lets play him a song!"

The song had finished playing by the time the magically perfect Pete was calculating in his Einstien brain how to make the skinny boy his.

"That was..like, totally, omfg awesome!!! Ryan you are soo getting signed onto my label!!" Pete shrieked.

"YAAYY!" Ryan screamed with a jump. "Let's celebrate."

"Sure honey." Pete said with a smile, because he was not only good looking and a genius, he was also a nice person.

Ryan giggled, then asked, "Why did you call me that?"

"Because, I like you and your nice ass... And a little thing of mine I want to put in it."

"You like me? Really?"

"Yes, I do Ryan."

"Lets be friends!"

YES! Pete had just gotten into this boys life, but he wasn't going to stop there.. Oh, hell no, he was going to fuck this skinny boy if it was the last he did. They hugged, and then Ryan felt something on his ass.

"Is something on my ass?" he asked out loud.

Brendon was seething with rage, and everyone else was laughing.

"PETES HAND IS!!" they all shouted.

Ryan blushed; he felt stupid right now. Pete kissed his forehead, then asked, "Do you wanna like, totally meet up later?"

"Um, no my daddy wants me home." Ryan replied quickly.

"Oh, well, like here's my number! Call me when you are like, so totally ready to lose your virginity."

"Bye-bye!" Ryan shouted as he ran home; his dad was going to kill him for being late again..

Pete was pulled aside by someone. Someone angry. Someone jealous. Someone evil.

"Listen bitch, if you talk to Ryan like that again, if you ever flirt with him again, so help me God I will kill your ass and make it look like a fucking accident!"

Brendon. Of course. Who else could be so evil?

"Hmph. I wouldn't do that if I were like, as ugly as you. Like, omfg, if you did that you would go to prison and they would not totally let you out on parole or like anything." he said while filing his nails.

Brendon growled.

"If its a fight you want, its a fight you will get. But just remember.. I will win. So don't expect anything amazing for you aside form a defeat.."

"Omfg, l will sooo totally win! I mean, my dick is bigger than yours and there are pictures of it online to prove it!"

Thus started the war between Brendon and Pete..