Shattered Glass and Memories

“Phoenix! You guys are great!” Jacoby yelled in the middle of their set. It was about eight at night and Bullet had already finished their set fifteen minutes ago. Now it was Papa Roach’s turn, obviously.

“Suck up,” I muttered jokingly from the side of the stage.

“Well you gotta keep ‘em going one way or another,” Monte said.

“True,” I agreed. I snapped a picture of Jacoby and the guys with the crowd in front of them. Very wicked if I do say so myself.

“Well everyone I want you all to meet someone. She’s one of my bestest buddies ever! Get out here Sky!” I grinned and gave my camera to Monte before running on stage waving.

“Ello Phoenix! FYI I am Max Green’s sister. Random fact and it saves a lot of explaining,” I stated into the mic a roadie handed me. I already know what Jacoby has planned so this is no shocker, just so ya know. That ruins the whole excitement for ya but sorry. “So what am I doing up here Coby?”

“You are lucky Sky dear. You get to help me sing a song.” The arena screamed back with enthusiasm. That’s when you know they must love the band. Don’t know a bitch like me but assumes I’m good because Jacoby’s bringing me on stage. I feel so loved. Dramatic sniffle goes here.

“Okay. Guys, what song do you want me to help sing?” The arena started to yell out answers. The most bold one was ‘Last Resort’. Good since that was what we were picking anyway.

“It looks like it’s Last Resort Sky,” Jacoby said, stating the obvious.

“Alright let’s do this,“ I replied. Jacoby and I went onto an extending platform in front of the stage and got towards the edge which hovered right in front of the first row.

“Come on guys help me out. Cut my life into pieces-” Jacoby started before we pointed our mics at the crowd who sang the next line.

“This is my last resort!”

((A/N: Normal is Jacoby. Italics are Sky. Bold is both.))

“Suffocation
No breathing
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding

This is my last resort

Cut my life into pieces
I've reached my last resort
Suffocation
No breathing
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding
Do you even care if I die bleeding
Who did me wrong
Who did me right
If I took my life tonight
Chances are that I might
Mutilation outta sight
And I'm contemplating suicide

'Cause I'm losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine

I never realized I was spread too thin
Till it was too late
And I was empty within
Hungry
Feeding on chaos
And living in sin
Downward spiral where do I begin
It all started when I lost my mother
No love for myself
And no love for another
Searching to find a love up on a higher level
Finding nothing but questions and devils

'Cause I'm losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me in fine
Losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Nothing's alright
Nothing is fine
I'm running and I'm crying
I'm crying
I'm crying
I'm crying
I'm crying

I can't go on living this way

Cut my life into pieces
This is my last resort
Suffocation
No breathing
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding
Would it be wrong
Would it be right
If I took my life tonight
Chances are that I might
Mutilation outta sight
And I'm contemplating suicide

'Cause I'm losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Nothing's alright
Nothing is fine
I'm running and I'm crying

I can't go on living this way
Can't go on
Living this way
Nothing's alright!”

I laughed as the song ended due to my adrenaline and the crowd cheered. I know why the guys and Jacoby and everyone does this shit, no matter how much it hurts them. It feels like I’m on top of the world right now, like nothing could bring me down. Jacoby slang an arm across my shoulders, almost screaming good job to me. I nodded and looked towards the side of the stage. Max, Monte, and Robert were all clapping for me, along with Matt and Jay from Bullet For My Valentine.

“Well guys I’m sad to say but Sky has to go. Say bye Sky,” Jacoby said, hugging me. I waved goodbye before walking off stage, passing my mic to the roadie who congratulated me.

“That was great!” Max beamed, picking me up and twirling me in the air. “You’ve got to sing with us during one song!”

“Hey, us too,” Jay chirped in, pulling on my arm.

“Geeze. You guys act like you’re gunna die if I don’t say yes,” I replied laughing.

“We will!” they all yelled.

“Okay, okay. I’ll sing!” I exclaimed as I was being pulled back and forth between everyone. I laughed as they all cheered and broke off into groups talking. As soon as we all separated I saw Craig sitting on a speaker watching Papa Roach with a sulked expression. I walked over and sat on the ground next to him.

“Hey Craigifier,” I joked, smiling up at him. He looked at me from the corner of his eyes before looking back at Jacoby who was in the middle of singing their new single “Hollywood Whore”. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Nothing,” Craig spat, anger biting the ends. I slowly stood to my feet and looked at Craig. His eyes slowly turned to look into mine and I saw two emotions flash by in his eyes. Anger and envy. He stood and walked by me, bumping into my shoulder while doing so. Monte appeared next to me out of nowhere as I sat on the speaker Craig was recently on.

“What’s up with him?” I asked. My voice so weak and confused I just wanted to smack myself. But people would presume me crazy and send me away. I do not wanna revisit the mental home no matter how cool the straight jackets are. Just joking by the way.

“So naïve,” Monte muttered, shaking his head.

“You know, I’m quite tired of people seeming like they know more than me on this topic,” I stated, glaring at my best friend. He shrugged as he sat on the ground next to the speaker. I slipped a cigarette out of my pack that was in my back pocket along with my lighter. Once my cancer stick was lit up I took a deep drag and blew it out.

“Well us being guys we notice secret want easily,” Monte replied.

“ ‘Secret want’? What are you on hun?” I asked, raising an eyebrow at his head.

“Nothing. And if I was everyone else is on it too. Every guy one this tour noticed Craig’s want. You are oblivious though and its quite funny.”

“Shuddup,” I muttered, standing and making my way towards the back door after I took Oli back from around Monte’s neck. I ended up finding Craig outside leaning on the brick wall with a cigarette leaning out his own mouth. Just by looking at him I could tell that wasn’t the first he had within the pass five minutes. We stared at end other for a solid minute before the door opened behind me.

“You’re up Mr. Mabbitt,” A random stagehand told him. He nodded before dropping his cigarette and stomping it out with his converse. One last look was glanced to me before he disappeared into the arena again. I let out a soft sigh before walking to the bus. I plopped down on the couch at the front and flipped through the channels as boredom took its toll.

~*~One Hour Later~*~

The guys noisily came back to the bus after the show. I could hear them four minutes before they even opened the door.

“Hey Sky,” Max greeted. I looked over at him from my current spot which was sitting upside down on the couch, my head leaning off it.

“Hola. Where’s Craig?” I asked curiously as Max, Monte, and Robert all came and sat on the available chairs. Craig never came on.

“Outside with a cigarette. I swear his oxygen supply is really those things.” Robert muttered. I shrugged to myself before deciding to join him. We would smoke on the bus but Monte is a huge non-smoker and he hates the smell. Weirdo. I kicked my legs so I did a roll backwards, landing on my feet with my back to the tv. I stood, withdrawing my own cigarette and lighter. As soon as I was outside I lit it up and took a drag.

“Hey,” Craig said softly. I looked over to see him sitting on the ground with his back on the bus. I sat next to him with a smile.

“Hey Craigifer,” I replied.

“About earlier, I’m sorry. I was just pissy,” Craig apologized softly.

“It’s okay. Are you angry at me?” He looked at me with a look of shock.

“Of course not! Why would you think that?”

“Well lately you’ve just been like….glaring at me. Especially when I’m hanging out with Jacoby,” I pointed out. He got quiet for a minute before opening his mouth again.

“Are you guys dating?”

“No, of course not. Jacoby’s like an older brother. A father even. You know how me and Max’s dad was a complete jackass, Jacoby is like the dad I always wanted. Nothing more,” I answered with sincerity. Craig nodded his head before smiling,

“Well let’s get on the bus. It’s boring out here.” I agreed, tossing my used cigarette bud. As soon as we stepped on the bus Max and Monte started singing.

“Sky and Craig sitting in a tree. F-U-C-K-I-N-G!”

“Dumbasses,” me and Craig muttered together.