The Absent Emptiness

I wasn't able to talk Ethan to give me the keys, instead, I talked his ex-girlfriend Echo into commandeering the keys and accompanying me to the deceased abode.
The ride there was awkward as always, since Echo still lived with Ethan even though they had broken up months ago.
Things seemed to go sour a few months before Hunter killed himself. She was down to earth, smart, but with a bitchy attitude. She reminded me of Darlene off of "Rosanne", only less butch.

It hadn't been easy talking her into giving me the keys, I really didn't even want her coming with me, but she insisted.
She didn't go, I didn't get the keys.

Her dark brownish black hair was pulled up in a half bun, half pony tail concoction on her head. Her thin black eyeliner accentuated her beautiful dark hazel eyes. One could not look at her petite body, and not admit to how attractive she was. But she was the kind of person who would take a cuss someone out just for looking at her for too long.
Either she was bipolar, or completely indecisive with everything in her life.
Even so, she was an ideal companion, she never asked questions, she kept to herself, she'd let me smoke without complaint, she didn't have me make stops at every single 7-11 store for stupid trivial bullshit items either. All in all she was considered "One of the guys".
But today she was in one of her moods, not really responding when I tried to shatter the silence with small talk. She wouldn't' even look in my direction, just shrug and murmur a one word response.
She was quickly putting me in one of my moods.
I tried to give her a break and think of the "good" things about her. Like another great thing about her was the fact that she wouldn't try to play "Match maker" with my love life.
I'll admit, I never pursued any relationships because they were a simple frail symbiotic life support system. Right when you were ready to be fully independent, excess baggage piles on because now, not only do you have your problems and opinions to worry about, but now you have your girlfriends!

Some would even say I had a problem meeting girls. What do I care? I just wish my mother would stop bugging me for grandchildren. You gotta get married first mom, well...at least by old standards before being a single parent was common place. I've dated girls on and off but none ever lasted.
I want to say it was all their faults, but I know it was me. Boring, drab, bummed out, lazy, depressed, what-is-wrong-with-me-now, me.
I was glad work gave me off to soak in the whole Hunter thing. I usually worked out of an office in Towson, the complete opposite direction of where I lived.
Yeah, it was a long commute, and it was on none other than the infamous Interstate 695. You should get a medal for driving that gridlocked shit streak. There was enough car parts, tires, and other useless junk on the sides of the highway to construct your own transformer from scratch.
I was lost in my thoughts until Echo decided to find me.
Echo sighed her annoying sigh of impatience. Sorry Echo, you're the one who set up this little arrangement, sorry if I don't want to get a ticket or die.
She tended to bite her nails, I think it was her way of punching a wall, or slamming her head into a cinder block. She shot me this cold stare, like I had just goosed her or something.
"Don't give me that look, it gives me the creeps, what is it?"
She looked away, shaking her head, "Nothing, nothing at all."
She went back to looking out the window, soaking in all the fast moving scenery.
"Tyler? Why haven't you gotten any of your stuff published yet? I mean, you're an amazing writer right? So what is the hold up?" she said suddenly, interrupting the tranquil stillness of the cars atmosphere.
It caught me off guard, because it was completely out of nowhere personal question that I wasn't prepared to answer, let alone wanting to.

"Uh..I do not know...Echo...? I uh..can't seem to get a break in this shit town. I mean, everyone tells me I have talent and all, but it really doesn't matter around here. You got to have connections, a decent school background, and do it for more than just a hobby. It's almost as if you have to live, eat, sleep, and breathe this stuff and well, I guess that ain't me."
I liked my answer, and I felt it should been recorded or written down and put into a book of great quotes.

Instead, she said, "Whatever! You're such an asshole!"
Shocked, I retorted, "What are you talking about? You asked the question and I answered. It was a good question and I think I gave a damn good answer!"

She rolled her eyes at me, "Oh come on! Stop being so God damned modest for once! I mean, sure it takes some time and effort to get a publishing deal, but Ethan and Hunter did it, so why the fuck can't you?! What is your real excuse? I think you're just procrastinating, as always! That is all you do these days, you work, eat, sleep, shit, and do it again. Where does writing fit in there?"
I became flustered, "Since when did you give a crap about my writing or life? I mean, we've known each other for how long, and I don't recall you or I ever bring this up before! Where is this coming from anyway?"

She looked back out her window, "Sorry, I'm sorry Tyler. It's just, everything with Ethan and Hunter...it's just catching up to me is all. I just need to let some of this out, sorry it had to be you."
"You forgot to mention sex, I don't ever have time for sex right?", I said jokingly, lightening the mood.

I smiled and I was sure she was too, but I couldn't tell, so I let it go.
"Tyler?"
I wanted to ignore her, I didn't feel like talking anymore. But something in her voice changed, she sounded different. Seriousness with her sadness it seemed, like an urgency in her tone.
"Tyler please, I need this. I need you..to help me..please..?"

I bit my lower lip, not really liking where this was going. I had felt there was an alternate motive to her tagging along. I had almost forgotten, she was a recovering heavy drug addict.
"No, please Echo, don't tell me you tagged along because of, a fix?" I said, my voice low and sallow.

She looked at me, I knew because I could feel her eyes burning a hole into my face and head. I caved in and looked at her, her eyes were now red with tears.
Her lip quivered and wiped he face with her hands, sniffles and sobs filled the car.

"Oh geez, okay, here we go. Alright, we're just going to turn it around at the next exit and-"I began to say, but she had taken my right hand brought to her cheek and lips.

" Oh no, what is going on here? Look, I'm not going to get you drugs. That is out of the-"
She again cut me off, I felt her soft lips kissing my hand, her small still wet hands clutching it close to her cheek. She sniffled, "I don't want drugs,".
I wanted to pull away, I knew it wasn't right. But the asshole in me wanted to pull the car over, hike up her skirt, and go at it. I bit my left index finger hard enough to leave teeth marks. No, I wasn't going to do that, but I knew what I had to do.