I Have Loved, and I Have Lost

Oli’s POV

I zipped up my jacket, all the way up to my neck – covering my rose tattoo completely. It was absolutely freezing outside, considering the fact that it was the 1st December and snowing like crazy. I’d offered to help Silver and Lily decorate their apartment for Christmas today and was excited to be seeing Silver. She’d gone crazy ever since it had started snowing. She loved the snow, it was a complete rarity to her and it was amazing to watch her play in it. Of course she insisted on snowball fights, snow angels, creating snowmen etc, etc. I was worried she’d never get bored, despite getting blue lips, soaking wet and absolutely freezing every time she decided to play in it.

I opened the front door and was greeted by the frosty wind that quickly flooded into my house, whipping around my body. I shivered and quickly shut the front door, running to my car. When inside I breathed heavily, being able to see my own breath in front of me. I quickly put the heating on and started the car up before heading straight over to Silvers.

We’d gotten into the habit of just walking into one another’s homes, both of us too lazy to answer the door. So Lily didn’t look startled when I entered there living room.

“Alrigh’ Olleh” She smiled softly, digging around in an old box that had ‘xmas decs’ written in black marker pen on the side.

“Oli!” Silver grinned, appearing in her bedroom doorway.

“‘Ello doll.” I couldn’t help but smile widely as she ran up to me and engulfed me in a hug.

I’d quickly become used to Silvers greetings and loved it when she ran up to me just to hug me.

“Thanks for coming over.” She said happily into my shoulder.

“No worries, I told yeh I’d ‘elp out.” She let go of me and headed over to where Lily was standing and started rummaging around in the box. I walked over, unzipping my jacket and throwing it onto the sofa. I looked into the corner of the room where a massive real Christmas tree was stood, waiting to be decorated.

“Mom always had to have a real tree.” Silver murmured from beside me. I slid my arm around her waist, pulling her into my side as I kissed the top of her head. She sighed contentedly and rested her head on my chest.

&&;

After hours of decorating the entire flat, Silver and I were sat on her bed drinking hot chocolate with marshmallows and whipped cream. We were both exhausted as she picked out a film and put in on before climbing onto her bed and cuddling up to me. We were so much like a couple it was unbelievable but I knew we weren’t. She was still with Chace and I couldn’t see that changing anytime soon. I knew that I had fallen for her and I couldn’t do anything about it which was possibly the most frustrating thing ever. I wanted to tell her exactly how I felt but I knew she’d just tell me that we were just friends, that she valued our friendship too much and that she was still in love with Chace so there was no point in even trying.

“Thanks for helping out today Olls, I had fun.” Silver smiled, looking up at me. She looked stunning with the light from her television illuminating her face, she had barely any make-up on and her hair was tied up in a messy pony tail but she still looked absolutely beautiful to me.

“Yeh’re welcome love. Yeh know I’d ‘elp yeh out wi’ anythin’.” Her smile got bigger as she blushed, nuzzling her face into my shoulder.

“You’re so sweet Oli bear.” I loved that nickname – no matter how lame it may seem I found it adorable whenever she called it me.

It was so true though. I’d be here for Silver whenever she needed me, offering help with whatever she needed help with and I think deep down she knew that. We were a great pair. I just wished that she’d stop hanging on to her relationship with Chace; I could make her so much happier than he could.

She placed her mug on her bed side table next to mine and slid her arm around my waist, resting her head onto my chest as my arms wrapped around her small frame. The smell of her hair was enough to send me into a frenzy. The urge to kiss her hadn’t disappeared since Halloween and since then she hadn’t kissed me like she did whilst we were dancing. Despite it meaning nothing, just a sweet innocent kiss, didn’t make me want it any less. I think she was afraid to do it again, especially after what I’d said to her that night. I couldn’t blame her for running off, I shouldn’t have said what I said or touched her the way I did. I just couldn’t help myself; I was drunk and I’d told her the truth – I did want her, more than anything. She didn’t let things get awkward between us after that night, which I was thankful for. She just carried on as normal and no one suspected a thing.

“I love your tattoos, Olls.” Silver smiled softly, as she traced a finger over the ones on my right hand.

“Would yeh ever get one?” I asked, stroking her hair. The film had ended and we now just had the television on in the background as we spoke.

“Yeah, I’ve always wanted one – I’ve just been too chicken. I want a piercing first.” I chuckled softly; of course she’d be afraid.

“They don’ ‘urt that much, Doll. What kind of piercing?” She sat up, looking into my eyes.

“I’ve always wanted two microdermals on my right hip.” She grinned widely. That’d look so hot on her.

“Aye, ‘ve got an idea – ‘ow would yeh feel about getting ‘em done for yehr Christmas present from meh?”

“Are you serious?” Her eyes glinted with excitement.

“Definitely. ‘ve been thinking about wha’ t’ get yeh anyways so that would solve that problem.” I grinned.

“Will you hold my hand?” I laughed at her puppy dog eyes, she looked adorable.

“Of course I will, Doll. When would yeh want t’ get ‘em done?” She tilted her head as she thought.

“Wednesday? We could go last two and skip gym.” I still found it insanely cute how she called P.E gym.

“Wednesday sounds good.” I smiled.