Stupid

The rush of cold air that hit my face as I exited the stuffy and sticky feeling venue was a relieve. For the past six hours it was nothing but hot, sweaty, and sticky, and I was thankful the show was over. But as soon as the feeling of relaxation thundered through my body, it left, as I remembered who was hiding in my bunk. I took a deep breath, ignoring the tightening feeling in my stomach, just nerves.

After I had gotten the box I was carrying into the trailer that was latched onto the bus, I sat down on the ramp. My knees were pulled up to my chest, with my left arm resting on my kneecaps, and my right arm was resting on it. My fingers were pinching the bridge of my nose, I regretted telling Jessa the truth.

“What’s up, Josey babe,” I looked up to see Alex, I moved my left hand to pat the spot next to me.

“I’m sad,” I answered when he sat down. “I don’t want Jessa to have to see Victoria and Jack, and I don’t want Jack to have his girlfriend rip his heart apart, because in some weird way, he does love her.”

Alex sighed, scooting closer and then cuddling me into him. “I know, but as much as it’s going to suck, Jessa won’t be getting hurt anymore, and Jack can live without guilt.”

“I suppose you’re right, I just…wish…it didn’t come down to this.”

“I know, Josey, but sometimes you can’t help it,” Alex kissed the side of my head, and suddenly, butterflies started to stir in my stomach.

“Alex, I think I’m gonna go back to Maryland with Jessa, maybe we’ll become friends.”

“If that’s what you wish to do, I’ll help you pack tonight,” he smiled down at me, and I smiled up at him.

I was about to thank him when something broke, and then loud yelling came from the bus. She saw. He was caught.

We rushed to the front of the bus, pulling open the door. Kara was holding Jessa back, while Victoria was mostly covered by Jack’s large figure, and Rian was in between Jessa and Jack, with his arms stretched out. Jack looked shocked, guilty, and heartbroken. Jessa was angry, and was spewing venomous words out of her mouth to him and Victoria.

“Everyone, calm down! Kara, take Jessa to the back room, Vic and Jack, you two, stay up here,” Rian hollered, instantly shutting down all the commotion that was once in the room. “Josey, Alex, bunk room, now.”

We followed Rian, silently, the air in the room was awkward and uncomfortable. “Where’s Zack?” Alex questioned.

“With Cassadee, they’ve got a thing going on, y’know?” I nodded, knowing Cassadee had a thing for Zack, but Alex had no idea, apparently.

“Are you sure? Wow, when did that happen?”

“Alex, focus, we’ve got more to deal with than who is hooking up on the tour,” Rian rolled his eyes.

“Oh, yeah right,” Alex nodded his head.

“Okay, who brought her here?”

“Me,” I answered, truthfully. “I booked her flight, and Alex picked her up, she needed to know the truth, granted it certainly wasn’t the place or time,” it wasn’t silent for a while after I openly admitted to causing a somewhat catastrophe on the bus, I didn’t mind it.

“Well, you’re going to fix this then.”

- - -

The set up was simple, on the couch opposite where I sat Rain, Jack, Alex, and Victoria, in the order, occupied the plush surface. On the couch I was sitting on, Kara, Jessa, and I were huddled close. The atmosphere was awkward and tense, a word hadn’t been spoken since Rian ushered us in here. Jack kept trying to catch Jessa’s eyes, trying to mentally apologize, but Jessa kept her head focused on her hands, that were located on her lap. Jessa was determined to not forgive him.

Kara broke the tension, with a simple word. “Why?” she looked at Jack, when she spoke the word that everyone in the room wondered, but didn’t have the guts to say.

Jack’s head quickly snapped over to Kara’s, as Jessa finally looked up from her hands. Her eyes glossy and blood shot, but apparent disgust was laced in her questioning gaze. Before he could open his mouth and close it for the fifth time, Jessa quickly spat. “Yeah, Jack, why? Why don’t you explain to us just why you’re cheating on me?”

“To be honest, I don’t know.”

“You’re going to have to do better than that if you want any kind of relationship with me,” Jessa was quick to respond.

“I’ve always done it, I don’t know how to get by without cheating on you,” Jack whispered, his head bent in shame.

Even though she already knew that answer, Jessa pressed, obviously wanting to hear the truth from his own mouth. “How long?”

“How long what?” Jack speaks quickly and quietly.

“How long have you been cheating on me, dumbass!” Jessa spits.

“Give or take…since All Time Low started touring,” Jack trails off, dipping his head once again.

“Okay,” and all is silent for a good minute. “Well, I think it’s done. Jack, we’re over.”

And again, Jack’s head snaps up so quickly, I’m almost afraid he’s broken it. “No, Jessa, no, don’t do this, please,” Jack pleads.

“Don’t, Jack. It’s done, it was fun while it lasted, but you’re not ready for a commitment, and I’m not getting any younger. Besides, Victoria over there is cute, I’m glad that you picked her to cheat on me with, I’d be a whole hell of a more pissed if the girl was ugly. Don’t try to fix anything, and maybe in time we can be friends…but I don’t see that happening for a while,” Jessa stood and turned to me. “Thank you, Josey. I’m gonna go to your bunk now, and sleep, okay?”

All I could do was nod, it actually happened, they were over…why wasn’t I happy?