Night Terrors

I awoke in a cold sweat, my breath racing and my entire body shaking.

I looked up to see Natalya looking over me with a worried, but knowing expression. I closed my eyes again, taking a few slow breaths to calm myself. I opened my eyes and nodded my head to Natalya.

“Are you right? That one seemed worse than most.” It was true, usually when I woke I could hardly remember anything that had happened in the nightmare, but so far I remembered everything.

“I’m okay.” I gave her a seemingly strong smile, but inside I was still shaken by the dream. I’m usually used to the night terrors. But some are much worse than others, and lately they’ve become terrifying. It’s like reliving everything horrible that had happened with
heightened awareness. It could make me nearly insane with fear, sometimes. I dreaded going to sleep each night, knowing what would be waiting for me once I closed my eyes.
Natalya was the only one that really knew what happened nearly every night. She slept closer to me than the others and was a light sleeper, so she obviously heard me on occasions.

Of course, the entire house heard me sometimes, but they thought they were just the occasional nightmares.

My night terrors would leave me screaming some nights, once even getting the police sent to the house when someone passing called in a disturbance of the peace.

That little occurrence got two hundred dollars taken away from me. I nearly cried, because I hadn’t even realized that I’d screamed during my sleep.

But it did make me more determined to get out of here. I didn’t know how, but something would happen. I’ll catch a break somehow; it’s just a matter of time before someone slips up. But for now, I’ll just lie back down and try to catch another hour or two of sleep.

At ten ‘o’ clock I woke up to the argument on the other side of the thin wall. A couple of the new girls were fighting over the shower. I’d never introduced myself to any of the new girls the night before; most were already asleep when I came back to the sleeping room from work. The few that were still awake haughtily ignored me, and I returned the favor.

After getting my things together from my box behind the mattress I began to get ready for the day ahead. It was nearly impossible to ignore the stares from the other girls. Most had probably been woken up by my outburst last night, those who hadn’t, were just evaluating their opponent.

It’s usually a pretty big deal if you’re left behind from another group. Usually a household is completely cleaned out for fresh shipments. Only if I high roller or enough mediocre buyers request that you stay, do you stay.

Most girls think it’s a privilege. I find it revolting.

I tried to push back the memories aside from last night, they were unfortunately getting worse. I was so used to not remembering the terrors, that it’s making it hard to avert my thoughts today. But dwelling on those thoughts will help me not. If I was to think about everything that I’ve seen and done, it would be impossible to function.

The only solution is to push everything back and put yourself in a mental bubble. If you do it right, sometimes you can pretend you’re somewhere else completely when the bad things happen. It’s a helpful skill if you can do it. But then there are always those times when nothing you do can overshadow the event. It rapes you mentally, and sometimes physically.
Taking a deep breath, I pulled my hair into a loose band and made my way across the mattresses, “accidentally” walking through the middle of a group of girls that had been staring at me openly.

Weakness is a horrible thing to show here. They take advantage of it; picking away at your insecurities and fears until you’re a shriveling mess of emotional goo. I’ve seen it happen, and the bosses don’t treat those blobs very kindly. Often, they will disappear and not come back. It doesn’t take much of a brain to realize what they do with them.

Needless to say, I try very hard not to appear weak. The terrors don’t make it any easier, either.

I headed towards the kitchen to find something to eat and I subconsciously found myself glancing around for Draven as I walked through the doorway. I never claimed to be fearless.
Luckily, he wasn’t around … yet. Instead, I saw a couple of the new girls huddled together and leaning into the barely stocked cupboards. They seemed to be only about 16 and neither of them looked to have used the shower in several days. I could easily guess as to what they were doing.

“Get the hell out of there.” I growled, advancing and grabbing them by their grubby shoulders. They turned around in shock and a pasted-on look of guilt came across both of their faces. They each had a bagel and their pockets where mysteriously bulged against their thin bodies.

“What do you think you’re doing?” I asked, shoving them into the counter.
They both simultaneously smiled. “Nothing, just getting breakfast. See?” They both held out their bagels.

“and lunch, and dinner?” I snapped, crossing my arms with a glare. There was barely enough food here as is, how dare they try to hoard what little we have for their selves. They looked annoyingly confused so I grabbed their arms. “If you want to keep your place, I’d put the food in your pockets back. NOW.” I snarled the last part.

They glared, but pulled out a couple of packs of crackers each and two more uncooked bagels. They sat them back in the cupboard and stomped out of the room.
I heard the two whispering as they walked out of the room. Conveniently loud enough for me to hear.

“She was the one screaming her lungs out last night like a little child. Funny how she acts tough when she’s awake.”

I rolled my eyes and pulled a glass out from the drainer on the cabinet, filling it with tap water. I took a swallow of the tepid water. I pulled myself up onto the counter and sipped on the water, enjoying the moment of silence.

The two girls where “closet whores”. They pretend to hate it here just as much as everyone else, but actually don’t mind it. They’d probably stay here even if they found the opportunity to get out. They’ve got more wrong with them than I ever could.

I hopped off the counter and rinsed out my glass, putting it back in the drainer. Grabbing a few of the crackers from one of the packs, I walked back to the sleeping room and sat on an empty mattress next to a couple of the younger girls.

The room was pretty empty, I assumed most of the girls had left to go and wander the house. James and Leanne were outside, and no one ever knew where Draven was. But he was hopefully still asleep in the apartment over the bar next door.

I noticed the two girls shyly glancing at the crackers in my hand, they were probably half starved. “Here, I brought you two some breakfast. It’s not much, but better than not anything.”

I handed them both a few and kept one for myself.

One of the girls smiled and thanked me. She was pretty; she had long black hair and caramel colored skin. She had a tired smile, though I guess all of us did. She looked to be about seven, not much older than I when I first started this, “business.”
The other girls nodded in agreement.

“No problem.” I said, leaning back on the mattress, so that my elbows propped me up.
“It’s kind of you to offer us food. With being so young, we don’t get to eat often. Older girls steal it.” The other girl said, after taking a bite of the cracker. She looked like she might be from India, but I couldn’t be sure. She had an accent that I thought sounded similar to other girls from there.

“Like I said, no problem.” I closed my eyes and nibbled on my own cracker. The Ritz crackers are my favorite, and we don’t get them often, so I was enjoying this one while I could.

“How long have you been at this place?” The same girl asked. I kept my eyes closed “Two years? Something like that, I lose track sometimes. But I’ve been to other places before here. I’ve been doing this since I was about your age.”

“That’s a long time.” The other girl said.

“Yea, I know.” I sat up, “Anyways, I’m called Ekaterina. What do you two go by?”

“Maria.” The girl with the pretty caramel skin said.

“Monjula.” The other equally pretty girl said. I was right, she is from India. Poor thing, so far from home.

“Why do you scream and cry while you sleep?” Maria questioned. I winced, not a conversation I really wanted to get into.

Monjula elbowed the girl in the side, causing the girl to yelp.

“What was that for?”

“You shouldn’t pry. It is rude.”

I silently thanked Monjula and stood up. “I’ll see you two later. Be safe, strong, and keep hope.” It was something an older girl, Marissa, used to say to me back in Connecticut. She’d end every conversation with it. It might seem corny, but I’d decided to keep up the tradition when I’d been shipped here. It was kind of my motto.

I smiled to the two and wandered over to where Natalya was towel drying her hair.

“How are you Kat?” she asked, smiling.

“Fine.” I gave her a tight lipped smile. Truth was, I was feeling pretty down today.

“Sure.” She stretched out the word longer than necessary and gave me a skeptical look. “What happened yesterday, anyways? You never got a chance to tell me, you passed out as soon as you got in.”

I leaned against the wall and wrapped my arms around my waist. “Draven.” I shrugged when she motioned for me to go on. “He was just being his usual self, only a little more violent than average. It would’ve been a rerun of a month ago if James’ prodigy hadn’t stepped in.”

Natalya raised a thin eyebrow. “Really? That surprises me; I didn’t figure she’d help anyone out.”

“Oh don’t make it seem so kind.” I snorted. “It wasn’t to ‘help’. She said, ‘If you’re going to have a go at her, pay her like the rest of them do, James doesn’t allow employees to have any special privileges.’”

“Oh.” Natalya replied. She leaned down to get a skirt from beside her mattress and pulled it on.

Privacy was a foreign and useless word around here. Why bother? We had the same things, and with so many of us sharing the same area, we could hardly take turns in the bathroom every time we needed to change.

“Well that sounds more like her anyways. We wouldn’t want her to go and get soft on us, would we?” She said sarcastically, causing me to smile.

“Yea, freedom forbid.”

“So, are you working in or out tonight?”

“Out.” I replied. Occasionally James would have some of us work down at the “dance” club. You only worked there if you were older, obviously. I started working there, on occasion, when I was around 17. I could pull off being 18.

It was considered a privilege to work there instead of the bedrooms. Really, I guess it is better because you can actually get out of the house for a while. But mostly because you weren’t being forced to have sex with anyone. You just had to dance. Unfortunately there are annoying little outfits you have to wear. Little, being the operative word.

I also like getting to see Norma. She always brightens my day. She works there every night helping with costumes and setting up the stage and cleaning up afterwards. She also always gives me a much needed hand with my makeup.
I
t’d been nearly three weeks since I’d gone. I was looking forward to the change of scenery. You don’t get the “privilege” often.

“Lucky you. I’ll probably never get there again, after last time.” She scowled.
I actually laughed, at the memory. “Yea, well you should’ve thought about that before you nearly attacked that old man.”

“He was asking for it! He kept groping me, and he smelled bad.”

“You’ve had worse than that before, so have I.” I said morosely, thinking about the dreaded bedrooms.

“Yea…” She trailed off. “You’re such a mood killer!” She smiled sadly.

“Just realistic.” I stood up and shrugged, heading out of the room to walk around aimlessly.

I passed James in the hallway and I shrunk against the wall. He looked to be in one of his moods. I’d had enough of angry testosterone lately. Encounters with him, when he was in those notorious moods were not something to look forward to. I involuntarily shuddered.
A yell from down the hall drew my attention and I darted into a room to see Draven dangling a small worn stuffed rabbit above Marias’ head. She stood there trying not to cry and get the toy back, at the same time.

“Please sir, give it back.” She begged.

“I might, but you’ll have to do something for me first.” Neither of them realized I had entered the room yet.

I saw the slightest glimmer of hope dance in Marias’ eyes. She hadn’t been in the “business” long enough to know what kind of “favor” Draven wanted.

“Draven, just give it back to her.” I growled. I took a step forward and forced myself to stand tall and not cower. I wasn’t going to let him see me afraid, this time. And I was going to save Maria from some cruelty for a little while. However useless it might be, she’d find out soon enough.

“Oh, you want to join in the fun, now? We got interrupted yesterday, but I’m sure we can pick up where we left off.” His eyes glinted with a dirty sheen of lust.

“Just give the thing back.” I tried to sound firm. HE looked between Maria and I. He smirked, and his eyes brightened.

“Only if I get to play with you instead.” He proposed. I swallowed thickly. He saw my hesitation and took a step towards a sniffling Maria. “If you don’t want to, then I can just do to her what I did to you last time.”

Maria took a stumbling step back, she didn’t know what he was talking about, but she knew it was bad. Her eyes shown with fear and she looked at me for help.

“Promise me you’ll leave her alone.”

He responded with a grin and turned to Maria. “Sure.” But before he gave her back the toy, he ripped the rabbits’ ears off and then threw the pieces to her, with the body.

“I told you to leave her alone!” I shouted.

He just shrugged. “I did, you didn’t say I couldn’t hurt the toy.”

I was seething with anger; I grabbed Maria and the doll and shoved her out of the door. “Go fuck a dog.”

I went to follow her into the hallway but a strong arm grabbed me and yanked me back roughly, slamming the door behind me.

A moment later I was up against the door while his hand groped me between my legs.

“Oh, but I’d like fucking you so much more.” He sneered.

Damn it. My mind whimpered.