Remodelling the Wreckage of My Past

“Angelina called me the day before yesterday.” I said, sitting on the steps in front of Matt’s house “She told me that Aiden was going to see a therapist…”

“Yeah I know, Aiden left a message.” she replied from the other end.

“What do you think about it?” I asked, hoping to get some kind of reaction.

“It’s his problem, not mine.” she replied. I sighed.

“Adeline, he is trying to sort his problems! He is doing it for you, he misses you and so do Angelina and Celia! And I’m not even speaking about Cha and the girls! You should have heard Cha when she went to Matt’s to see you and Matt told her you had gone back to Baltimore… Seriously Lyn, come back! It’s been a week already…”

“I need to get away Billy, a week isn’t enough to sort things out...”

“You won’t solve your problems by running away!”

“Listen Billy, if the reason you called is just to reason me and tell me what’s good to do or not, I suggest you to hang up straight away!” she snapped.

“I’m sorry Adeline, I’m just trying to help you! I fucking miss you okay!” I snapped too, letting my frustration out.

“And I miss you too but I’d really appreciate it if you and the rest of the population in California could just forget about me for a while! I need to go now, bye Billy. Love you.” and she hung up. I let out a deep sigh and slide my phone back in my pocket.

“Trouble in paradise?” asked Brian as he was coming out with a cigarette and a lighter.

“You could say so…” I mumbled.

“Trying to make her to come back?” I nodded.

“It’s useless. Adeline lives by her own rules, and she’s fucking stubborn. She won’t come back until she thinks it’s time for her to make an appearance.” He said, taking a drag. “But maybe that’s just how she used to be when I first met her, maybe she had changed?” he asked, sitting down next to me on the step.

“I don’t know… When I met her, she was still like that. But for the past fifteen years, she had change, and it has a lot to do with the kids. She was doing everything she could to please her kids… And I guess the results had shaken her…” I said, making a face as I remembered the scene.

“Tell me about it.” He whispered, “I still feel bad, I mean, it was my gun.” He muttered, looking down at his hands.

“Well, at least it wasn’t loaded. And Aiden learned from his mistake, didn’t he?”

“Yeah, yeah he finally came to reason. And he took the decision by himself. I think he finally understood everything he put his mother through. He’s beating himself for it. And Angelina isn’t tender with him either, she’s blaming him for her mother’s leaving, and also for the fact that she doesn’t see Celia as often.” Explained Brian.

“It’s hard for Celia too, but Nicole keeps her entertained, and the guys are great help when we are in the studio. Always keeping her busy with stuff, it’s fun. But she misses her mother, and so do I.” I whispered, starring ahead of me.

Brian took a drag and blew the smoke.

“I think everyone misses Adeline, and it’s only been a week. I mean, I was getting used to her presence, and so did the girls and the boys. I mean, Matt and Jimmy were glad to see her after all this time. But you could tell she had a lot on her mind. She was nothing like the Adeline I remembered, the one who could drink three bottles of Coke in a day and was high on sugar with Ash, running around in a tour bus.”

“Oh yeah, tell me about it!” I said, shaking my head at the though but couldn’t help but smile. “Being on tour with Perfect Nightmare was fucking epic.”

“Jeez, it was awesome you mean! I never had so much fun. The girls were like a whole family, Cha the mother, Jess the big sister and Ash and Lyn the brats…” Brian said, laughing. I laughed too.

“Hell yeah! And not to mention Lyn’s guitar skills.” I said with a nod.

“Oh yeah, Lyn’s guitar skills. She was quite good at guitar. Is she still playing?”

“No, she quit. I asked her to play guitar once, but she refuses and went to pick up Aiden off school. That’s Lyn for you.”

“Yeah, for the few times I talked to her more then five seconds, she’s the kind of mother that would do anything for their kids.”

“Oh she would, she’d rather die than letting anything bad happen to her kids. Touch them and you’re dead.” I said, smiling as I remembered Lyn yelling at a guy because he pushed Angelina out of the way and didn’t apologize. “You have to know though, Aiden might think his mother is a liar, but since the beginning, she had always told the twins that I wasn’t their father. She just didn’t tell them who it was.” I explained.

Brian looked up at the sky.

“That’s why I never understood in Adeline, she always takes the hard way… It would have been easier for every one if she told them you were the father.”

“She will always love you Brian, I know that. You were her first love and you’re the father of two of her children, that’s why she took the hardest way. She wanted what was best for her kids, and to her it’s seemed that the best way was to tell them the truth. As sad as it might sound, you’ll always have a part in her life, whether you like it or not. If she hadn’t tried to walk to L.A to see you, she’d have never met Cha…”

“She tried to walk to L.A?” he asked in disbelief. I nodded.

“Lyn didn’t tell me that story, but Cha did. Cha picked her up and they went to see you and the guys and then they went to see us at the show. And then, when they got back to Huntington, Lyn showed up at Cha’s doorstep late at night or early in the morning and she became the front woman of Perfect Nightmare. You can’t help it Brian, you’re the cause of a lot of things that happened in her life. Both goods and bads. And I learned to live with that fact.” I said, standing up. “You might think it doesn’t worth it, but in Lyn’s perspective, it does.”