Love Is a Losing Game

Angie sat silently, watching Brian carefully waiting for his reaction. The entire time she spoke his face was controlled as his hands clenched and unclenched into fists. As she watched she slowly poured them each another glass of JD.

“If he’s got any sense he’ll stay the fuck away from you.” he said almost inaudibly after a long silence.

“Don’t hold your breath, he’s already sent two letters, posted one of them into my mailbox personally. This is only the beginning.” She replied with a shake of her head.

“He’s not going to hurt you again Ange. I won’t let him.” he replied a little louder.

“Brian please, don’t promise me anything, it won’t be fair on either of us when something goes wrong.” She pleaded.

“Nothing will go wrong. I’m going to make sure of it.” He repeated with a stern glare as he lifted his glass to his lips and knocked the liquid down his throat.

“Brian please. Listen to me. Don’t do this, don’t put pressure on yourself with a promise you can’t keep.” She pleaded. She watched as Brian slipped off the stool and walked around the counter to her.

“Even before you told me what happened between the two of you, do you think I was going to stand back and let this guy worm his way back into your life? Do you think that now I know what he’s capable of I’m going to let him do anything to hurt you? I’m going to protect you.” he said taking hold of her hand in his and entwining their fingers.

“It’s not going to be that simple Bri. I mean what are you going to do? Stay with me twenty-four seven?” she replied.

“Why are you being like this? Why are you trying to put me off helping you?” Brian replied pulling his hand away and leaning back against the counter.

She closed her eyes and sighed before answering. “It’s not that I don’t want you to help. But you don’t know David. He’s not going to just stroll into the bar and do what ever he has planned. He’s going to watch and wait. I’m worried that if he thinks I’ve got someone looking after me he’ll see that as a challenge. Stuart promised to keep me safe last time and I know that he still feels guilty for what happened and he’ll never fully forgive himself. I don’t want anyone else to have that burden.” She explained.

Brian nodded once she finished his expression still. “Okay, so I won’t become your own personal bodyguard but I will never be far away of you need me. I want you to promise that if ever you think he’s watching you or if he turns up or anything you will call me and I will be there in an instant. I’m sure the other guys will help me out as well if needs be.” He replied sternly.

“Okay. I don’t want you and the other guys having your lives interrupted by my problems, but I think I know you well enough by now to know that you’re as stubborn as I am. You’re not going to let this go are you?” she replied as Brian shook his head with a small smile.

“There’s something else that I want to do to help you but I’m not sure if you’ll be happy with it.” Brian said quietly.

“What?” she asked cautiously.

“Come with me.” he said simply taking hold of her hand as he pushed himself away from the counter and led her by the hand out of her kitchen and through to her living room before leaving the house and crossing the pathway towards his.

“Bri, I hope you’re not going to suggest I come live with you? That’s ridiculous.” She said as he led her through his front door.

“Don’t be stupid, there wouldn’t be much point in that considering we live next door to each other.” He replied as he led her through the house pushing a door open and leading her into what she could only assume was his bedroom.

He let go of her hand leaving her stood in the doorway as he crossed the room to the closet in the corner, giving her the chance to look around the room. It was tidier than what she had expected to have been, although she couldn’t help but notice how empty it looked. Obviously Aimee had taken a lot of things with her when he kicked her out.

“Here. I want you to have this.” he said turning back around.

“Hell fucking no! Are you fucking kidding me? You want me to have a gun?” she screamed taking a step back away from him, her eyes wide with shock as she eyed by the Berretta in his hands.

“It’ll make me feel better knowing you have this to keep you safe.” He replied.

“It won’t. I don’t know how to use a gun! I’d end up shooting myself.” She retorted loudly.

“I’ll show you how to use it. And I’ll load it with blanks if that will make you feel better. Even if you just keep it with you to scare him off if he comes anywhere near you. Please Angie, take it.” He replied pleadingly.

Slowly she nodded and reached out to take the gun. Her heart raced as she felt the cold metal in her hands. All she could do was stare at it. Slowly she became aware of Brian moving to stand behind his arm reaching around to her hand, gently moving the gun so that she was holding it firmly.

“Just click the safety cap, point and shoot.” He said quietly in her ear. She swallowed back a lump that had formed in her throat and nodded. He made it sound so easy but she knew that in reality it would be the hardest thing in the world to do when she was pointing it at someone, real bullets or not; pointing it at the man she hated or not.

“It’s really that easy?” she asked quietly her arm still stretched out pointing the gun at Brian’s bedroom window.

“In theory yes.” He said finally removing his hand from hers and taking a step away from her. Slowly she allowed her arm to fall to her side, her hand still firmly wrapped around the gun. “Angie, I know you don’t really want this, and I hope to God that you never have to use it, but please keep it with you. It would make me feel better about not being able to be there for you all the time.” He added with a saddened look.

“Okay, but answer me one thing. Why the fuck do you have this in the first place?” she asked turning to face him.

“I have seven guns in total. I like guns. I enjoy going down to the shooting range sometimes. They’re to help me protect the people I care about, and right now that means you. I’m sorry if you don’t like those reasons.” he replied keeping eye contact with her.

“Seven? Okay.” She began with a nod of her head. “Okay, I can deal with that. I’m sorry if I’m freaking out, but I’m not the biggest fan of guns. It was drummed into me as a kid that no good can come from carrying a gun.”

“Understandable, some parents are like that.” He replied with a smile, taking the gun off her again and walking back over to the closet. He set the gun down on the bed and took a small box out of another larger one that he’d taken the gun out of.

“Can I ask you one more question?” she asked watching him carefully.

“Shoot…sorry no pun intended.” He replied with a smile. Even Angie couldn’t stop the smile that edged onto her lips.

“Have you ever used it…for real I mean, like not down the shooting gallery?” she asked as she watched him remove the bullets from the chamber of the gun.

“No. Not yet.” He replied with a smile as he loaded the blanks into the gun. Angie felt herself let out a long sigh of relief as she nodded.

After putting the box back into the closet Brian walked back over to Angie and placed the gun back into her hand before taking hold of her other hand and gently leading her back through his house and out of his front door where they saw Zack and Stuart stepping out of Zack’s car and making their way up the driveway towards them.

“Ange? Are you okay?” Stuart called as he broke into a small run to reach her quicker.

“I’m fine Stu, c’mon we’ll talk inside.” She replied with a faint smile as she notice his gaze wander down to the gun in her hand.

“Angie please tell me why the fuck you have a gun in your hand!” Stuart demanded in a growl as he followed her and Brian into their house, Zacky behind him.

“For protection.” She answered simply and quietly as she made her way back into the kitchen.

“Where the fuck did you get it?” he retorted.

“I gave it to her; for protection like she said. I want her to feel safe, this was one way I knew how seeing that she wouldn’t let me be her personal body guard.” He replied, the corners of his lips turning up into a smile at the last few words.

“Stu, I know you think I’m crazy, but it’s loaded with blanks and I’m only going to use it to scare David if he shows up when there’s no one else around…I promise.” She replied pleadingly, letting go of Brian’s hand and placing the gun on the kitchen counter.

“Okay, if it makes you feel safe.” He replied with a smile before leaning down to place a soft kiss on her forehead. “As long as you’re okay.”

“I’m going to be fine. I just freaked out earlier when I saw the letter he sent me without a post mark on it.” She replied as she pushed herself onto the stool and reaching for the glass of JD that was still left on the counter.

“I know, that freaked me out too, but please don’t run like that again.” he replied as he took two more glasses from the cupboard and proceeded to pour him and Zack a drink.

“I won’t. I’m not going to run from him, not anymore. I’m going to live my life as normal as possible.” She replied.

“You? Normal? Yeah right.” Stuart smirked.

“Okay, so as normal as I can get.” she replied with a shrug and a smile.

“That’s better.” Brian said with a smile of his own. Angie looked over at him with a puzzled look. “You’re smiling again.” he added with a wink.

“That’s probably got something to do with having great friends who look out for me and protect me.” she replied, her smile widening.

“Thanks for going to the meeting for me Stuie.” She said as she turned back to face him.

“Yeah, thanks Zacky, I owe you one.” Brian added.

“No problems dude.” He replied with a nod and a small smile. “You can do the next two meetings instead, I need a long ass break away from Paula.”

“Sorry dude.” Brian apologised with a chuckle. “She’s who head’s up these meetings and she seems to have an attraction to some of my guys, well all of us actually.” He explained at the sight of Angie’s confused expression.

“Yeah, and she’s as old as my mom, twice the size and has hygiene issues.” Zack replied with a shiver.

“And issues with personal space.” Stuart added with a shiver of his own.

“Oh God! I’m sorry guys.” Angie replied with a giggle.

“Oh and dude, she was disappointed that you weren’t there and she knows about you and Aimee.” Zack said with a smirk as he turned to face Brian.

“Oh shit! That’s it I’m never going again now!” he yelled with a shake of his head.

“Oh yes you are!” Zack yelled back.

“Yeah, it’ll be fine, I’ll be there to look after you.” Angie replied with a smile.

“Right I’ve got to go.” Zack said putting his empty glass back on the counter.

“Yep me too, I’ve got a shift to get ready for.” Stuart added.

“Oh shit me too.” Angie replied.

“Um, actually no you don’t; Kat’s covering.” Stuart corrected her with a smile as he walked out of the kitchen.

“Awesome.” She replied with a smile turning back to face Brian. “Are you working?”

“Actually no, I’m not.” He replied with a smile.

“Movie night?” she asked with raised eyebrows and a wide smile.

“Haven’t you spent enough time with me already today?” he asked.

“Is that your way of telling me that you’ve had enough of me?” she said crossing her arms over her chest.

“No, I, no, that’s not what…” he paused when he saw the smirk playing on her lips. “Movie night!” he said grabbing hold of her hand and gently pulling her off the stool and into the living room.

“We’ll see if there’s a good one on TV first.” He said as they slouched down in the sofa grabbing the remotes. As he began to flick through the movie channels Angie turned to face him.

“Thanks Bri.” She whispered.

“For what?” he replied quickly glancing between her and the screen.

“For everything you’ve done today, thank you, it means so much to me.” she replied. Brian stopped at a random movie and turned to face her.

“That’s what friends are for right?” he said with a wink and a smile.

“Best friends.” She replied. “But don’t tell Stu.” She added with a whisper.

“My lips are sealed.” He said lifting his arm and indicating for her to move closer to him. she smiled in return and rested her head on his chest a large smile on her face as his arm wrapped around her shoulder.