I See You So Please Stay Strong

“Faggot,” Charlie snickered, his camera phone in his hand as he snapped a picture of Dillon and Riot together, Dillon’s face holding a dopey, devoted fatherly look as he stared down at Riot lovingly.
“Aye!” He yelled, reaching around Taylor’s head as he tried to grab at small cellular device. “Jordan! I’m gonna fucking kill you! Give that motherfucking thing to me!”
“Make me,” Charlie smirked, shoving the phone into his back pocket as he looked up at Dillon, a nasty, playful glint in his deep eyes. “Eh, too late.”
“Fucker,” Dillon fell into the chair beside me, holding Riot in his lap as he glowered over at his dirty blonde haired friend. “I’m gonna kill you. Just you fucking wait till later.”
“Can you not curse in front of him like that,” I took Riot out of Dillon’s lap, smacking at his hands as he tried to take him back from me. “Every word you say he’s listening to and picking up. You say that too much and he’s gonna start saying it, too. And I really don’t want my ten month old knowing the F word.”
“Finnnne?” Jay asked, grinning as he looked over at Nita, his eyes running up the course of her body. “Cause, damn, she’s finnne! And that word, man, their ain’t nothing wrong with it.”
“Jorel,” She giggled, poking his arm as she squealed, his arms pulling her closer to his body. “Hey!”
“Hey yourself,” He grinned, laying a kiss on her lips as he held her in his lap. “Damn, you’re comfy.”
“Stinker,” She stuck her tongue out, pinching his mouth closed before he could try and nip at it. “Naughty.”
“Yep, that’s me. You know me so well baby.” The smirk stretched across his face, his rough hand running up the length of her thigh.
“No sex!” Mari scolded, her finger in Nita’s face as she leaned into Matt’s body. “Right, Matty?”
“No sex for life, or just in the store?” He asked, his deep, raspy voice making her entire body shiver as he said it in her ear.
“…Just the store,” She bit on her bottom lip, looking up at him with deep, innocent brown eyes. “Living without sex forever would kill me.”
“Good, cause I think my dick would fall off without your pussy wrapped around it every night.”
“Every night? Damn you horny bitches,” Taylor giggled, licking her lips as she stared over at Charlie.
“Oh, who are you kidding?!” Sarah exclaimed, laughing loudly as her British accent seeped through her words. “You guys fucking every night too! Damn, I’ve never met a hornier guy then Charlie,” She paused, giggling as she ran her hand up George’s thigh, his eyebrow quirking in response. “Well, besides my hunny bunches of oats.”
“Hunny bunches of oats?” George coughed loudly, the grin stretching across his face as he shook his head. “Girl, you better not be saying I taste like that shit cereal. That shit sucks Funny’s hairy monkey balls.”
“Aye, my balls aren’t as hairy as yours, Georgie boy.” He smirked, cupping his package and humping at his hand. “I’m like Michael Jackson, I turn white and them dem chicks come running.”
“Dude, its boys, not girls. You fucking idiot.” Aron scoffed loudly, laughing as he gripped Raychel’s hand. “Fuck, bro, what’s wrong with you?”
“Mind yo fucking business,” He flipped him off, arching his back as he stretched in his seat. “Fuck, bro, I fuckin Michael Jackson’s twin and I fuck that pussy he throws out.”
“Good for you, we get it, Dillon,” Sighing, I rose to my feet. “We get it. You fuck a lot of pussy. Good for you.” Placing Riot on my hip and holding him close; I walked back into the store, searching for an outlet to the tears.
Now, I know I left him and everything, but in my mind, he was still mine.
He was still my Funny Man; my Dillon.
He was still the father of my child and the love of my life, regardless of how bad I had fucked that up.
And in my mind, that wasn’t going to change anytime soon, so him talking about how ‘good’ he fucked that pussy wasn’t something I wanted to listen to, especially when he wasn’t talking about my pussy and his dick.
Maybe I was being jealous, but it’s how I felt and nothing right now was going to change it.
“Isn’t this cute?” I held up a plaid blue and white shirt, waiting for Riot to check it out. “You think it would look good on mommy?” I sighed, running my finger over the small pattern. “Probably not.”
“Why wouldn’t it?” Dillon’s deep voiced asked as he came up beside me, his body hovering above mine. “It’s cute.”
“I don’t know,” I shrugged, running her fingers through Riot’s hair lightly, smiling as he laid his head against my breast. “You tired baby?” I whispered, rubbing his back as I slowly rocked my body from side to side.
“He looks it,” He answered quietly, his deep, chocolate eyes staring down at his son’s soft, yawning face. “He looks like you.”
“Are you kidding me?” I scoffed quietly, running my hand up and down his small back lightly. “He looks just like you. Are you blind or something?”
“I was trying to be nice,” He mumbled, sighing heavily as he ran his long, rough fingers through his thick, curly dark brown hair. “Sorry.”
“I’m sorry,” I sighed, using my free hand to rub my forehead gently. “I’m sorry I left, I’m sorry I freaked out on you before. I’m just….I’m me?”
“I understand,” He stared down at me, his hand reaching out to gently pat Riot’s back. “I don’t want it to be like this, Guin. I don’t want it to be awkward like this. I want to pick up right where we left of…basically. I know we can’t, but I wish we could. So, can we at least try and be friends? Can I actually see him? I don’t know if you knew or not, but we’re gonna be here for two weeks and I’d love if you came and stayed with us.” He paused, rethinking his last sentence. “Or, at least come and visit. I understand if staying with me is too much for you right now.”
“Definitely Dillon. I’d like that.” I answered quickly, shushing Riot as he started to fuss. “It’s okay baby. Mama’s here.”
“Dada’s here too baby,”
“Dada,” He cried, his arms flailing as he clutched desperately to me shirt. “Dada.”
“He’s right here baby,” I grabbed Dillon’s hand, pulling him closer as I leaned into his body, pressing Riot’s back into his chest. “See, its Dada. Its okay baby.”
“Dada,” He sniffled out, his face burying into my shirt as he cuddled into me.
“Yeah, mama and dada are here. Right here,” I wrapped my free around Dillon’s waist, laying my head on his chest as I brought out bodies closer, for the sake of our son.
Oh, who was I kidding, I just wanted to be near him.
“Go to sleep baby,” I pressed my cheek into Dillon’s shirt, coddling Riot’s small body into my own, quietly singing in his ear. “When you’ve got nothing left, you’ve got nothing left to lose. With my last left single breath I’ll still be singing to you.” I hummed into his ear softly, smiling as he fell back into a deep sleep.
“You sing him my songs?” Dillon asked, his deep eyes staring down at me as he wrapped his arm around my waist.
“What I can,” I sighed heavily, laying a kiss on Riot’s forehead as I held him close. “I can’t play him a lot of your stuff, but I hum it and I play what I can. He loves it, absolutely adores it. He loves that lyric too, probably because I sang it to him since he was little. It always calms him down.”
“Really?”
“Yeah,” I nodded, biting my bottom lip as I adjusted his body carefully, trying not to wake him. “Thanks Dillon.”
“For what?”
“For being there. For not walking out on me like I did you. For not yelling and screaming, and for just being there.” I leaned up on my very tippy toes, smiling as he tilted down some, my lips meeting his in a soft, gentle kiss. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” His rough hand cupped my cheek, his calloused fingers gently stroking the smooth skin. “I miss you, Guin, I really fucking do.”
“I miss you too, Dillon. Riot misses you and so does BJ.”
“You still have BJ?” He grinned brightly, chuckling deeply. “Still humping your face?”
“Nah,” I giggled quietly, slipping my hand into his back pocket of his jeans. “He just humps my leg now and takes up the entire bed.”
“You let him sleep in the bed with you?”
“Who else is going to take your unfilled space?”
Things got quiet for a moment, both of us staring into each other’s eyes intently. Our gazes locked tightly, penetrating into the deepest depths as we read each other’s souls out. I knew he could see right through me, see every fucked up thing, every want and need.
And I hoped it didn’t scare him too much, especially because half of them were about him.
“Me,” He answered simply, pressing his forehead into mine as he ran his hand up and down my spine lightly. “I’m gonna kick that damn dog off the bed.”
“How about I just come stay with you and the BJ can lie on the floor?” I closed my eyes tightly, waiting for his response.
I was scared he’d say no, even though he had been the one that offered in the first place. But rejection held so deep in my heart and mind, and I was afraid he’d reject me, like I had done to him.
I deserved it, but it hurt so much just thinking about having to go through it.
“Don’t fucking go back on that,” He grumbled, dragging my hips against his as he pressed his lips into mine, mumbling against them. “I want that to happen. Don’t mess it up.”
“I won’t. I love you.” I kissed him for all I was worth, shoving in the last nine months time of pent up love and lust. “And I mean it.”
I meant it.
No matter what happened, or how afraid I was, I was going to try my fucking hardest, and this time, I wasn’t going to mess it up.
I wasn’t going to run away like a coward again.
Not this time.