Losing Love

"Mandy I think you should go to the doctor. You don't look well, you are throwing up everything you eat and you are depressed." Mandy's mother warned her while she cleared the plates after breakfast.

"Mom, will you ease off. Her boyfriend just died a few weeks ago." Matt hissed.

"I know that, but I still think she needs to see a doctor. I don't mean for her to give Mandy tablets, but she could suggest someone for her to see." Her mother continued.

"Please, Ruth." Mandy's father pleaded. "Leave her alone."

"But I am worried about her. I mean look at her, she looks like a zombie. You have to agree with me, she is walking around in a daze and it is killing me to watch her like that. Nick would not want her like that." Mandy's head shot up with the sound of his name. "She barely talks, I mean any sign of communication would be a good sign but she doesn't even give us that." Mandy closed her eye's in a desperate attempt to block out her mother's voice but it was no use. "She hasn't cried since the day of his funeral. That can't be right."

"I am sitting right here, mom. Stop talking about me as if I am invisible." Mandy waved her hand in front of her mother's face. "I am fine and I don't need anyone to talk to."

"Mandy you are ill. You are making yourself physically sick from this. You are not sleeping, you haven't touched your breakfast and your friends are calling you all week, you won't even get out of bed to tell them that you don't want to speak to them." She felt her father grip her hand sending her shock waves of support, if anyone understood how annoying their mother could be it was her father. How the man survived with her constant nattering for so long baffled Mandy. "So.."

"Fine-" She grunted pushing the chair with her legs as she stood up. She could not handle sitting there as her mother went off on another rant about how she needed help. "If I go today will you be happy?"

"Yes." Her mother said with a smile. Mandy heard her mumble something else under her breath but she had already left the kitchen. She saw Matt follow her out.

"You ok?" He asked as she threw herself on her bed.

"I will be when that woman gets off of my case. I mean did she ever hear of grief?" She spoke a bit louder than usual hoping her mother could hear her. "She knows I hate the doctors. They usually involve blood tests. And needles and blood would not be my favorite topic." She sighed, cuddling her arms around her pillow.

"Do you want be to ring and make an appointment for you?" He asked.

"No it's ok, I can do it." She lifted her hand from underneath the pillow and searched around lazily on top of her locker for her phone. She flipped it open and called the doctors.

"Hello, Doctor Roberts surgery." The secretaries soft voice ran through the phone line.

"Hi, this is Mandy Parker. I would like to make an appointment to see Doctor Roberts, please." Mandy's eyes narrowed as she heard the woman's old voice sigh through the phone. She knew Mandy and she knew her story. She could practically feel the woman's sympathy towards her.

"Oh, Mandy. How are you keeping?" She went on.

"I am doing ok, thanks." Mandy forced herself to be polite. Matt chuckled as she threw her eye's up.

"Good, good." She slurred. "Well we have a space free in a half an hour if you would like to come in then?"

"Yeah, that is perfect. Thanks." She said gratefully. She was happy the appointment was so soon. She wanted to get it over and done with and the sooner she did that she sooner she could return home and drown in her sorrows. She couldn't even see the point, there was nothing wrong with her, she was just upset.

"I could stay a while longer if you would like?" Matt stated as he laid down next to her on the bed.

"Don't be so stupid, your holidays from college are nearly up and you have exams soon. I am fine. You know how mom is, she just over-reacts." She half smiled.

"Yeah I know, I just don't want to leave you like this." He searched her face for any sign that she might be lying about him leaving but her expression was unreadable. In truth, she was lying. With Matt gone, there was no one else she could talk to. She knew her friends were always there for her but it did not feel the same with them.

"Please Matt, don't stay here for me. I can call you everyday." She bit down on her lip. That was one giveaway that something was on her mind. She always bit down on her lip when she was nervous or was not telling him something.

"What is it?" He sighed. He thought she was going to confide in him about his leaving for college but she didn't.

"It's weird. I feel nervous about going to the doctor." She laughed awkwardly. He tilted his head and stared at her.

"Just run when they take out the needle." He joked. She smiled but it did not reach her eye's. "Speaking of the doctor, come on get up, you need to get dressed." He pushed her playfully as he stood up to walk out of the room.

"Ugh!" She grunted. "If Nick was alive I would kill him right now, he is making my mother think I need a doctor." She sighed. Matt had to laugh at the way she could still speak so light heartedly about Nick. She never really spoke of his death, that was still a sensitive subject and would be for a while.

When Matt had left the room she dragged her feet over the side of the bed. She caught a glimpse of herself in her full length mirror and frowned so that a crease formed at her brow. "The doctor is really going to think you are sick." She muttered to herself. She tied back her hair, brushed her teeth and washed her face. She didn't bother with make-up. Firstly, she didn't have the energy to put any on and secondly, she was only going to the doctors. She slipped out of her pajamas and threw them in the washing basket. After quickly gulping down a glass of water she grabbed her keys. "I will be back soon. I am going to head over to Sally's after the doctors but I shouldn't be too long."

"You want me to come?" Her mother jumped nervously from the chair.

"Mom, I am eighteen, I am well capable of doing things on my own." Her mother eyed her suspiciously. "I am not going to drive off a cliff." She sighed as she walked away. She heard her mother gasp in shock. That should leave her pondering, she thought as she jumped into her car and drove to the doctors with that nervous knot still at the pit of her stomach.