It's My Pain Too

Frank's POV

The weekend went well and took my mind off what lay ahead for me on monday. So it is now Monday, it's 5 o'clock in the morning and I am getting ready to go to the hospital. I pack a weeks worth of clothes as a 'just in case'. No one is really sure what will happen to me during my course of chemo. My treatment starts at 7 in the morning and generally finishes at about 10 o'clock. I sleep most of it off then we go home.

Today is different. My doctor said that I would be staying the day if all goes well. Gerard said he would come by at lunch time to see me. I don't want him to come though. I don't want him to see how sick I truely am.

"Are you ready to go Frank?" My mom is standing at my doorway.

"Yea. I have everything." I reply.
Today there is no pills to take as they affect the treatment. I grab my bag full of clothes and toiletries and head downstairs. Today I don't eat. I just throw it up anyway. Today is a horrible day. Even the weather is misserable.
We get in the car, it is now 6 am, and we drive to the hospital.

Once at the hospital, we take the lift up to the 4th floor, then we go to the nurses station and sign in to the ward. The nurses are really nice here, they like to fuss over me alot. Once all the paperwork is done, I am ushered into a room, although it is the same room every week. There is a boy my age, whose name is Michael and a girl a bit older named Nancy. They are like me, about to die, but we are all sick so it's okay to be friends. They are now permanant residents here and pretty soon I will be joining them.

"Hey Michael, where's Nancy?" I ask. I don't want her to die just yet.

"Hey Frankie. Nancy should be back later today, she spent overnight with her family last night." He replied. I crawl into my bed and get comfy.

"Oh. I thought the worst for a moment there." I let out a nervous giggle.

"Ha ha. She's a fighter." He replied, I just nod.

Just then my doctor came into the room.

"Hey Frank. How are you doing?" She asks.

"I'm still alive." I reply.

"Well I have some bad news I'm afraid."she continues.
Suddenly mom is by my side holding my hand.

"Frank I don't know how to tell you this and I am sorry for being blunt, but, you won't be going home after today."

The look she gives me is sad, sorry, and sympathetic. I can't respond. I am in total shock. How will I tell Gerard this terrible news. I want to spend a little more time at home, I want to live a little longer. In a single sentance my world has changed and the harsh reality that I am dying has hit home.

"Frank?" the doctor questions. Suddenly she's a stranger.

"Frank you will be allowed to have overnight stays at home but we now need to care for you." she continues some more.

"Can...can you go...please?" I ask. She nods and leaves. I turn to my mom.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"Frankie this is about you." is her reply.

"Gerard...he's gonna be devistated. I'm really dying?" I question, a million thoughts running through my head.