Paradise Lost

I put on a blue tank top dress with a wide peace sign belt and a pair of flip flops, and Jay was dressed in a pair of jeans, an LA Pride t-shirt and black slip-on vans. We headed out the door and into the California nightlife.

At almost midnight, the streets of LA were still crowded, bustling with people going in and out of clubs and bars. We finally found a parking spot in the movie theater lot and made our way to purchase our tickets. I had never seen so many people in line for a movie. The theater was packed, the line reaching out the door. Jay started laughing and pointed out Aron and Scarlett to me, standing in line also. We made our way over to them and got in front of them, sticking out our tongues. Scarlett and I went to go buy drinks and popcorn while the guys waited in line.

“So how pissed were you at Jorel.” She asked, once we were in line.

“Extremely. That’s why we’re here right now. He had to do something to make it up to me, and this is his idea of an apology. Hey, I’m not complaining though, it works for me.”

“Aw, I made Aron come with me. I’m not sure he wanted to go, but I sure as hell did and he wasn’t going to stop me. He ended up coming along because when he called Dillon and Matt, they were both busy, George was working, and Jay didn’t answer his phone.”

We paid for the candy, drinks and popcorn, and returned to where the guys were standing. I stood, leaning against Jay, tracing the tattoos on his arms. Eventually, we made it in the theater and the movie began.

“That was so fucking awesome!” Scarlett yelled, as we exited the theater.

“I know!” I screamed back, laughing.

Scarlett and I had become fast friends; she was so much like me. We got to the parking lot and said goodbye, I would be hanging out with her tomorrow most likely.

“I’m glad you liked it,” Jay said, taking my hand once we were in the car, “I’m so tired.”

“Me too.” I replied, yawning at the thought.

When we arrived back at the house we quickly fell asleep, not expecting the shit that would hit the fan the next morning.

“FUCK YOU!” I screamed at Jay.

It was only eleven in the morning and we had already been fighting for the last hour. Why? Because I had received a call from Brett Potter, the editor for AP, talking to me about the job. He wanted me to relocate to Cleveland, Ohio where the office was.

“Why the fuck do you want to move away? I can fucking support you!”

“You don’t get it Jay. It’s not about me thinking that you can’t support me. I want to do this for myself. Did you ever stop to fucking think that I can’t work for Hollywoodland forever. I mean, yeah, I love it, but this is my chance. I don’t get offers like this every day. I want this.”

“Then why the fuck did you go out with me the other night. Were you expecting to rip my fucking heart out? Is this your sick form of payback? Make me fall in love with you again and then rip everything out from underneath me and just leave? This isn’t supposed to be the way that our future goes.”

“Were you expecting to rip out mine while you were on tour? Don’t forget that you’re the reason we’re so screwed up as a couple in the first place. I’m not leaving you, I’m leaving California. Sometimes the future changes, Jay.”

“Once you get out there, you won’t care about us anymore.”

“I’ll always care. Can’t I just do this, support me, for me? I want a good job, Jay. I love you, but I’m not going to pass this up.”

With that being said, Jay left the house, and me, slamming the door on his way out. I sat in the floor, crying, and thinking of my options.