Addicted For Life

Matt and I drove down to LA and went all out on shopping. He told me not to hold back, and buy whatever I wanted. I didn’t buy too expensive, unless he told me it was okay. The most expensive thing I bought was some little black dresses, but they were designer and designer things never fail to cost a high price. I felt overly happy with this shopping trip; I didn’t have an opportunity to buy clothes before. I only had to opportunity to steal them.

“Do you like this shirt?” I asked holding up a black t-shirt with a peace sign in all different neon colors.

“Uh, I guess. It’s pretty cool. I like the colors,” Matt said unenthusiastically while looking at the shirt.

“Are you still mad at me from earlier?” I asked while putting the shirt into the cart.

“How can I not be? I want you to get clean. The only endings to your story as a heroin addict is death or jail and I doubt you want either one of those.” He hissed and walked away from me. I sighed and threw some skinny jeans and skirts into the cart. I caught up to Matt in the shoe department.

“I’m sorry, Matt. I’m so grateful you want to help me, but I’m stubborn as fuck and I’m a junkie. I’m addicted for life. It’s going to be hard for me to get off of it. But hell since you told me you wanted to help me; I decided maybe it is a good idea to get clean. Maybe if I get clean I can see my family again.” I started to cry and gave Matt a big hug. He was like an angel, I couldn’t take him for granted and he was watching over me. That’s why I met him.

“Don’t cry, Nicole. Let’s go home, okay? I think you have enough clothes for now. If not we can come back again. Let’s get something to eat as well; you need food after this morning.” He wiped the tears from my eyes and kissed the top of my head. He pushed the cart to the check out, and nearly had a heart attack at the total cost; $5,300. I told him to put some things back, but he said it was fine.

We drove down the streets of LA again to a Wendy’s, my favorite fast food place. I ordered two burgers, I was starving.

“What do you want to do when we get home?” I asked in between bites of my burger.

“I was thinking about going swimming, it’s hot as hell out and I have to get some use out of that pool. You got a bathing suit right?”

“Yes, I did. And swimming sounds good.”

“Let’s head home then, you can eat on the way, you pig.” Matt chuckled and smiled at me.

“I am not a pig! I just haven’t eaten properly in years!” I scoffed and took a bite of my burger before getting up. He laughed at me again and threw out his trash. I walked back to the car with Matt, still munching on my burger. In the car, I finished eating but still felt hungry. I needed more food.

“Matt, I need more food!” I whined.

“Now you’re a pig. You’re so tiny and you just ate two burgers!”

“Shut up, I can’t help that I’m hungry. And I want a puppy.” I blurted out.

“Why a puppy? I have a dog already.” He looked at me funny.

“Well when I was growing up I had two dogs, so they had playmates. Can we adopt a puppy from a pound tomorrow? Please! Bella would like a new friend, and a lot of animals need homes.” I looked at him with a sad face and big eyes, basically a puppy dog face.

“Fine, we can get a puppy tomorrow.” After 5 minutes of silence he gave into me.

“I love you!” I hugged him tightly as he pulled into the driveway of his house.

“Okay puppy lover go get changed into your bathing suit,” Matt said as he handed me some bags of my clothes. He carried the rest with me up the stairs, and then left me in my room. I dug through my bags until I found my black bikini and placed it on the bed. When I threw it on the bed, I remembered the heroin that was under it.

I bent down and pulled it out from under the bed, and felt a pain of guilt hit me. I wanted it so badly, but I tossed it back under again. It was either stay clean, or get high. In other words, keep Matt happy or piss him off. I sided with staying clean.

I think I can survive without it.