How Quickly I Forget; That This Is Beating Less

Mike held my hand as we weaved our way through the mass of bodies. Craig had asked me to come stand in the audience while Escape the Fate played. I had agreed, only for Robert, Craig, and Bryan's sake. I shoved my way to the front, aggravating people and making some swear at me.

"For fuck's sake lemme through," I growled.

"Jule calm down." Mike smiled faintly and hoisted me up onto his shoulder's so the band could see me better.

"Julie! You came!" Craig screamed into his mic. He grinned broadly and motioned for people to move apart so we could get through.

"Anything for you baby!" I teased, winking.

"Hey!" Mike groaned. I leaned down and kissed the top of his head softly. We made our way up to the front and the security guards lifted me up over the fence and into the restricted area. Mike jumped over with little help from the guards and he leaned against the fence. I leaned against him and relaxed as I watched the show, my eyes never straying to Max's face. One month later and I still could not look at him. He never went anywhere according to Bryan; just played the shows and went back to his bunk. I frowned and forced myself to look at him. I had to. Was he really that sad? Why did I care? He hurt me.

&!

"Amazing as always Craigafer." I gave him a quick hug and moved back into Mike's arms.

"Thanks," he grinned and bowed, "I try." I rolled my eyes and followed him out of the venue and towards the buses.

"So," I mumbled.

"Mike can I steal Julie for a few minutes? I'll return her to the bus unscratched." Mike smiled stiffly and nodded, walking back to our bus.

"What's up Craig?" I walked alongside him, my arms hanging limply by my side.

"How are you Julie?" I groaned.

"Fine Craig."

"No I want the truth Julie." He stopped and looked me sternly in the eyes.

"I-I miss him Craig. More than I want anyone to know. More than I want myself to." I shuddered and wrapped my arms around my waist.

"Julie, you know Max wouldn't do that on purpose right?" He placed his hand lightly on my shoulder.

"Clearly he would. I mean the bitch was eating his face off and he wasn't doing anything about it," I seethed, clenching my hands into fists.

"You don't have the whole story," he protested, but I put my hand up in the air to stop him.

"Craig I don't want to hear it. He should be able to tell me the story. I want the truth, and I don't want it from you." I forced a smile. "You know I love you Craig. I don't want what happened to Max and I to interfere with our friendship." Craig sulked.

"I know."

"Then let's just leave it at that." I turned and started heading back, leaving him by himself in the midst of all the buses.

"Julie, he's beating himself up over what happened! He never wanted to hurt you. It's partially my fault anyway. That girl is a friend of Gaby's that came to visit me. She's always had it for Max and I guess she acted on it. SHE! Not Max!" I just ignored him and kicked some rocks as I walked back.

&!

I sighed and slammed my book closed.

"Damnit," I muttered. "Who the fuck is banging on the door at this hour?" I stood up and opened the door angrily. "Do you know what fucking time it is? Everyone's sleeping here idiot. It's fucking 2 in the morning."

"Sorry." I froze. Max. Holy shit.

"What do you want Max?" I crossed my arms over my chest and glared down at him.

"To apologize. I'm sorry Julie. I really am." Max started crying and it made me soften. My baby was crying. No, not my baby anymore. I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around him tightly, rocking back and forth slowly.

"It's okay Max. Shh. Stop crying." I pressed my lips to the top of his head. Why? Why was I being so nice after what he had done? I cared. I didn't want him to be sad. I would do anything to make him happy.

"I know you can't forgive me just yet," he wiped at his eyes and I released my grip on him, "but can you start to? You know I would never hurt you Jule."

"Max," I mumbled. I pressed my hand against my forehead. "I can't forgive you like that. I don't know how long it will take for me to trust you again either. I want to know what happened."

"She kissed me Julie. I swear. Abby just came on when I was getting ready to come and get you and she kissed me. She's not so little. She has a lot of strength and pushed me down onto the couch. I didn't want it Julie. You have to believe me." I frowned. What a classic story. I didn't believe it one bit. I shook my head and closed the door on his tear-stained face.